I have to agree with Severus here, Remus is being a huge idiot.
Besides the fact that Severus did not mention: If Remus was working for Sirius, its not charity, its employment. But there ARE ways for wizards to work in muggle world without being obvious, without obvious use of magic. After all the Statute of Secrecy does mandate that muggles can not know about magic, it does NOT say magicals can not work with muggles. As long as they keep magic secret and and keep magical items from muggles, then it's okay. And seriously, using charms like repairo or simple transfiguration doesn't make the item magical, that would take enchantment and runes to do.

Loved this one so much.
And the idea of Vernon getting on with the Goblins is perfect.

Enjoyed the story thanks

Gary Seven. Heh. Ought to appreciate the advantage of mixed blood.

Your always too trusting of what Rowling and her fans say, rather then the textual and sub-textual evidence:
Is there evidence in the Harry Potter books that Snape was a bully as a kid?

Nathan Beard, Official Harry Potter fact-checker, Potterverse Patrol
Updated July 25, 2019
Question originally answered: Is there evidence in the Harry Potter books that Snape was a bully as a kid?

Yes, there is evidence that Snape as a kid is a bully—not just a bully, but a racist bully to boot. And I can only presume that people who claim otherwise either:

aren’t reading very carefully,
are deluding themselves,
or are deliberately prevaricating.
Much of the evidence comes from Snape’s own memories in The Prince’s Tale.

Snape refers to Petunia as a muggle, in a pejorative tone of voice, indicating that Snape already harbours racist views.

DH ch 33:

“Haven’t been spying,” said Snape, hot and uncomfortable and dirty haired in the bright sunlight. “Wouldn’t spy on you, anyway,” he added spitefully, “you’re a Muggle.”

Though Petunia evidently did not understand the word, she could hardly mistake the tone.

Then Snape physically assaults Petunia:

There was a crack. A branch over Petunia’s head had fallen. Lily screamed: The branch caught Petunia’s shoulder, and she staggered backward and burst into tears.

As he and Lily prepare to leave for Hogwarts, Snape nearly refers to Petunia in a racist manner again, but catches himself:

“Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbleore.”

“So what?”

She [Lily] threw him a look of deep dislike.

“So she’s my sister!”

“She’s only a—” He caught himself quickly; Lily, too busy trying to wipe her eyes without being noticed, did not hear him.

So even before Hogwarts begins, we see that Snape has racist and bullying tendencies.

James and Sirius bond over the fact that Sirius decides he’s not going to be in Slytherin with the rest of his family, and Snape is actually the first one to throw a deliberate insult on the Hogwarts Express:

...James lifted an invisible sword.

"Gryffindor, where dwell the brave of heart! Like my dad."

Snape made a small disparaging noise. James turned on him."Got a problem with that?"

"No," said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy..."

“Where’re you hoping to go, seeing you’re neither,” interjected Sirius.

And thus begins the MUTUAL antagonism between Snape, and James and Sirius.

Snape then gets sorted into Slytherin, and welcomed with open arms by prefect Lucius Malfoy.

Fast forward a few years, and we find that Snape is part of a gang of Junior Death Eaters—the wizard world’s equivalent of teenage Neo-Nazi skinheads:

“…thought we were supposed to be friends,” Snape was saying. “Best friends?”

“We are Sev, but I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging out with! I’m sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him Sev, he’s creepy! Do you know what he tried to do to Mary MacDonald the other day?”

Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face.

“That was nothing,” said Snape. “It was a laugh, that’s all…”

“It was Dark Magic, and if you think that’s funny…”

There you go—young Snape—getting a laugh out of bullying when it’s HIS gang of young racists doing the bullying—assaulting girls with Dark Magic… at least a year or more BEFORE Snape’s Worst Memory.

And at this point there is NO evidence that the Marauders are bullying him. Rather, all the evidence indicates that Snape is “stalking” them—trying to get them into trouble. His OWN memory indicates that rather than being “pranked,” or “lured into a trap” by Sirius, that Snape already had a theory that Lupin was a werewolf, and was determined to prove it—probably hoping to get Lupin expelled:

“They sneak out at night. There’s something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?”

“He’s ill,” said Lily. “They say he’s ill—”

“Every month at the full moon?” said Snape.

“I know your theory,” said Lily, and she sounded cold. “Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they’re doing at night?. . . .I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever’s down there—”

This scene confirms everything that Lupin and Sirius tell the trio about the incident in Prisoner of Azkaban:

PoA ch 18:

"Severus was very interested in where I went every month." Lupin told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We were in the same year, you know, and we - er - didn't like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James's talent on the Quidditch field... anyway Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be - er - amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it - if he'd got as far as this house, he'd have met a fully grown werewolf - but your father, who'd heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life... Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, but from that time on he knew what I was..."

Put it all together and you have definitive evidence that Snape was NOT truly pranked by Sirius, and that Snape is nearly entirely responsible for his own actions. Snape cast blame on Sirius and James simply to deflect criticism of his own behaviour, and because he felt humiliated at having been saved by his rival, James Potter, and because he felt angry that Dumbledore had disallowed him from exposing Lupin’s condition.

If Snape suspected he’d find a Werewolf (and Snape clearly did) on the other end of the tunnel, then frankly Snape’s an idiot who is far more responsible for nearly being killed than Sirius is.

Sirius simply got sick of Snape following them around, prying into their business, and probably said something like, “If you really want to know what we’re up to, Snivellus, go and look under the Whomping Willow for yourself if you’re brave enough!”

Which is decidedly reckless and foolish on Sirius’s part, and yes, Sirius clearly bears some small measure of responsibility for the incident. But be clear—Sirius didn’t MAKE Snape try to out Lupin. That was all Snape’s own doing—Snape CHOSE to try and face down Lupin, suspecting all along that he’d find a werewolf.

So again, at this point, there is still NO evidence that the Marauders are singling out Snape for bullying, but plenty of evidence that Snape is a Racist Bully as a kid.

Need more proof? Fast forward again to the scene following Snape’s Worst Memory:

"...I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just…"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends—you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No—listen, I didn't mean…"

"…to call me Mudblood? But you call EVERYONE of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

There it is—Lily finally admitting that she’s been trying to pretend for years that her friend—Snape—isn’t a Racist Bully, when she’s clearly had reservations all along, and called him out on it more than once.

What this scene also proves, is why Snape is so disliked by many people in school, and why so many students were egging James Potter on, when James Potter was behaving atrociously and very clearly bullying Snape.

I am not particularly a fan of James at fifteen. I am ambivalent at best regarding his behaviour at school before sixth year! (due to my own experience with obnoxious jocks). And there is no question that James Potter was out of line in Snape’s Worst Memory!

But we are already beginning to see that it is a form of retaliation for Snape’s own behaviour towards the Marauders (more on that in a moment).

And make no mistake, many muggleborns— very likely including Mary MacDonald—probably felt Snape had it coming for being a RACIST BULLY for some years, tired as they were of being called Mudblood, and being assaulted by the Junior Death Eaters.

That’s all from Snape’s Own Memories, and lest we forget, we learn in Half-Blood Prince that Snape INVENTED the spell—Levicorpus—which James Potter used against Snape, in Snape’s Worst Memory.

This is evidence that Snape used the spell first—very likely to bully muggleborns—and clearly using it on James prior to that incident.

We also learn in Half-Blood Prince that Snape invented the spell Sectumsempra, “for enemies,” making him the equivalent of the gang member who brings a gun or knife to school to settle scores.

HBP ch 28 The Flight of the Prince:

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them—I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don't think so... no!"

Snape’s wording, “turn my inventions on me,” amounts to a confession that Snape had employed the spells on James first.

Indeed, we also see Snape trot out Sectumsempra during his Worst Memory—gashing James’s cheek with it while James is distracted by Lily Evans—arguably in self-defence, but potentially escalating the situation into something much deadlier:

OotP Ch 28 Snape’s Worst Memory:

But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood.

It is also not the only time that Snape had used the spell, and it is possible that he may have used it more than once on James. In Chapter five of Deathly Hallows, Lupin states:

“He lost his hood during the chase. Sectumsempra was always a speciality of Snape’s…”

The phrasing, “always a speciality… ,” proves that Snape had used the spell on more than one occasion at school.

And Lupin’s statement in OotP, chapter 29, Careers Advice leaves open the possibility that the Sectumsempra was used more than once on James, the most likely explanation for Lupin knowing that it was Snape’s “speciality,” unless Snape was also using it on other students (and we know it wasn’t during the war, because Sirius indicated that they had not come across Snape during the war~GoF ch 27).[1]

Either way, it demonstrates that Snape was hardly an innocent, and that he was a viciously racist bully in his own right:

'Well,' said Lupin slowly, 'Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James so you couldn't really expect James to take that lying down, could you?

So says Lupin, and we can presume Lupin’s truthfulness as he had said only moments earlier:

“Did I ever tell you to lay off Snape?” he said. “Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were out of order?”

Having acknowledged that James and Sirius bore some responsibility for sometimes instigating events, Lupin is also forced to concede that Snape had also instigated many attacks against James.

Snape’s Memories, and his admission to having created Levicorpus and Sectumsempra in Half-Blood Prince, thus confirms what Lupin tells Harry, and also confirms what Sirius tells Harry in Goblet of Fire:

GoF Ch27 Padfoot Returns:

“Snape knew more curses when he arrived at school than half the kids in seventh year, and he was part of a gang of Slytherins who nearly all turned out to be Death Eaters.”

So yes, when you put it all together, there is a WHOLE LOAD of evidence in the books that Snape was a bully as a kid—some of it DIRECT evidence!

Did Snape really love Lily or was it only an extreme form of attraction? He called her a mudblood and didn't leave his death eater friends for her.

Nathan Beard, Official Harry Potter fact-checker, Potterverse Patrol
Updated June 23, 2017
Rowling has said (in one of her usual dubious, after-the-fact, post-canon explanations) that if Snape had to do it all over again that he would not have joined the Death Eaters.

Maybe that’s true, but in reality (if that word means anything when referring to fictional characters) that is very likely just Adult Snape while he was dying from being bitten by Nagini being regretful in hindsight.

As another responder has pointed out, Snape was perfectly willing to let Voldemort kill baby Harry as long as Lily was saved. When Harry was alive, Snape only grudgingly protected him, all while verbally abusing and harassing Harry and generally treating Harry like crap.

It’s also worth pointing out for all the Snape Apologists, that Snape was abusive towards Hermione as well. Snape as an adult was a mean-spirited, petty, vindictive, man-child who never grew up (except perhaps in his dying moments) and had no business teaching children.

Anyway, the short answer is that Snape did love Lily after a fashion. But it was a singular, possessive, jealous love driven by his own needs, not Lily’s needs.

If Snape had truly, deeply, Loved Lily, he would have wanted only happiness for her. He would have treated her son with kindness and respect because he knew it would have made Lily happy.

Having said all that, as despicable as I think Snape was, I don’t actually hate him. Snape was a Tragic figure. He was a Byronic, Heathcliffian character who did have the potential for Redemption, but only found it in Death.

Snape grew up in an abusive environment, and he never had the emotional tools to deal with it effectively. The pain of that abuse clearly corrupted his soul and drew him to “the Dark Side,” and the fact that his abusive father was a muggle caused him to hate muggles, which eventually carried over into hating (most) muggleborns. And contrary to the opinions of some others who have answered this question, Darkness in Potterverse (in much the same way as Star Wars-verse) is almost exclusively associated with Evil (regardless of how others might define Dark).

That is why Snape hung out with some of the more depraved students at Hogwarts and joined the Death Eaters. The fact that Snape thought Lily might be impressed by his joining the Death Eaters only shows how delusional he was, and is further evidence that Snape’s Love was more about how Lily (the only bright spot in his life) made HIM feel, not about how he wanted to make HER feel.

For Love to be true, it has to be a two-way street; with Snape it was always one way. And yes, I’m sure while his life ebbed away, he truly did wish that he had done things differently. It’s a very tragic story all the way around.

And more!

Great welcome-to-Slytherin speech.

that last paragraphs are just cute

Yes! Finally! Someone else who has realised that people are sorted based on where they need help, not where they are already proficient!

The-woman-who-sacrificed? Really?

Okay. No-one, and I mean absolutely no one, would have seen that coming. Ever. However, I do like the 'Decent Dursleys' stories, so long as they are plausible and not forced, and can actually imagine that interaction between Vernon and Rockcrusher. Oh, and the chess analogy was good.

You did NOT go there. I will be scarred for life...

I laughed way too hard at the reference to the Creevys

Loved it

Want can I say? Surprised? Hell yes! Enjoyed? Most definitely. I have had you tagged as a favorite author for some time, but somehow missed this jewel. I'm going to continue reading what I missed before.

Thus, Snape has become a man that James and Lily would respect... and saved the world.