Awww, this was super cute and funny, I loved it!

Delightfully funny and truly Patrick Jane to a T.

So sweet thanks for the read

WOW... that was bloody brilliant! Thanks so much for writing and sharing this. You made me giggle hysterically, and I really appreciate the tongue-in-cheek humor. :D

BRAVO!

-Shani :)

Brilliant! Humour at its best.
Your Patrick Jane was perfectly in character. I loved how much of thought you had put into minor details like the slogan in the mug and the glass misting up prompting the officer to move mid-sentence. I loved the closing line too.
Your writing style is simple, crisp and attractive. I was reminded a little bit of P.G. Wodehouse and I LOVE his writing.
I would love to read more of your writings. I hope you keep writing Mentalist fan fiction.

Brilliant!
Much-needed humor, expertly written.

terrific. stylish and terse and literate and all things good and you paint a perfect picture of jane. thanks for this.

Pithy, cute, really funny!
I loved it. More please?
I love your writing,Pickle

Only just seen this. How like Jane!

Just read your other story and wanted to read more from you. This was really funny as well. I like your style. I wouldn't worry I too much about realism. It's humor, and more importantly fanfiction. I enjoyed and l and got a chuckle out of it.

Oh, this was so good. I have been working on Duffy, the security agent being an cousin to FBI. Pike., wouldn't that be fun.

Thanks everyone for the kind reviews, it means a lot to know someone out there has enjoyed my little story!

Pellegrina, thank you for your comments, much appreciated. I must admit I panicked on reading them, even the gentlest constructive criticism is terrifying right now – hopefully it gets easier! My introduction should have warned that the story was tongue in cheek and requires a little suspension of disbelief, so I’ve updated that. As for Jane being out of character, it wasn’t my intention for him to seem mischievous (again, this may have been partly the fault of my intro), I was imagining him as rather shell-shocked for several hours, eventually rousing enough to want tea (“a hug in a cup”), food and maybe a little mental distraction. With his treatment of the guard I was going for something similar to the pretend dead mouse in the pocket of Bertram’s assistant (season 3 premiere) and similar occasions where an obnoxious official has annoyed him. I imagined that he might be miserable and annoyed enough to take what he wanted and not care about the consequences. McMuffins and Sudoku may have been a step or two too far, but I couldn’t resist. ;-) Anyway, I’ve made a few small edits to try to make his state of mind clearer.

I’ve also figured out how to report WhiteNationalist, wish I could delete that review!

LOL
Oh, yah, love humor w/Jane involved.
What other trouble will you get him in? ;p

Enjoyed this, well done.

Julie

Oh my, that's sweet and fun, love it. Poor Duffy, defeated by our mischievous Jane, I still have to laugh :) Thank you, want more, please.