Well that was pathetic. -_-

Hm.

That 'bad end' idea would have been beautiful indeed. Wonderful story.

This story is honestly one of the best fanfics Ive read. The flashbacks are just vague enough, the writing style is great, and the OCs arent forced on you. A solid *****

hoo boy... I hope this continues after so long. Cardin needs the ass-whooping of a lifetime

Damn groovy.

Dude, write that idea yourself. If people get mad don't bother. They don't have to read it and if they get angry when they do its their own damn fault. So take the writing style of yours (which is great) and write the idea before someone tries to say it's theirs. Great story, by the way.

Well, I'm definitely going to need more of this fic. This is amazing.

Absolutely love the story so far its great! I hope you continue it!

A plausibly competent (and appropriately traumatised) Jaune. I like it.

And then there was one indeed. Cardin didn't get the hint that this Jaune is not to be messed with. Loved the flashback/backstory you gave Jaune and Noyuu, you captured the essence of their desperation very well in the short scene. I'm very interested in the idea of the Progenitors as well; looking forward to more!

Nice chapter. I like your idea for bad ending, but perhaps it would be better to call it a tragic ending? Bad ending just sounds so bad.
Even if you don't write it, which I wish uou do. Maybe you could make a spin off story where the path diverges into alternative worlf and leads to that tragic ending.

Pfft I would read that, and I would love it! Huzzah for non-perfect endings! They rustle my Jimmies occasionally but the stories usually have much more depth and feeling because of that. Anyway really enjoying this one. The level of detail and pacing is fantastic. Jaune seems well balanced for what you would expect having experienced what he has. The hesitation about ending one of the lollerskate gang (cardin's crew) during the fight really hammers it home that it was even an option to him.

Anyway, looking forward to more.

Oh don't worry my friend, Ozpin is still alive, he just disappeared. Update very soon.

Well, I personally think Ozpin is still alive, but I know what you mean.

Not bad, you do a good job of incorporating emotion into your characters.