Ha, actually doing this with Voldemort—that was epic :D Your Hepzibah was perfectly in character, that is to say a mix of hilarious and sickening, girly and flirty and affected. Your Tom was perfectly well-mannered and subtly witty—up until he realized what she wanted with him. Welcome to the fourth dimension, Tom! The letter, his astonishment, the fact that it was the first time he said "I don't understand"—everything was perfect :D I cracked up at Hepzibah saying he was "adorable when he was playing dumb", her explanations of her thinking, all of her lines. Die, Hepzibah. XD I just can't believe it. I love how Tom had to struggle to gather his wits, it was all so WEIRD—and his thinking was very nicely depicted, the immediate and huge temptation to just kill her of course, but he realized following that impulse was taking quite a risk, and he was most certainly NOT going to sleep with the woman, dear god. So accepting was really his best option… And love the apparent calm with which he reacted after he'd managed to pull himself together :D

Bella's part was somehow even funnier. I just cracked up at all the stuff about Draco, her obvious disgust, her calling him "it", Narcissa's wrath XD Also loving her craving a bit of piece and silence and running off to the library, and everything she found was HILARIOUS—way to shatter the Malfoys' classy image :D Romantic novels, glossy magazines, KNITTING—and her thinking she could see little Dark Marks when she spotted the Playwitches, dear god! Bella's disregard of human nature, her being convinced that Cissy was a pure little virgin, her thoughts about immaculate conceptions—I just died. Several times. XD The myth killed me too, I knew the myth of Io but never that part :D Seriously, after all that trouble Zeus didn't even screw her? Well, I guess they'd consummated before, Hera didn't get that pissed off for nothing. XD It's perfect. Loved the doubts about Lucius' sexuality too, and the shameless pun about being straight as a candle :D The reminder of Andromeda's betrayal was rather bittersweet—it was interesting to see Bella's reaction, her hurt and her dreading the possibility that Cissy might do the same thing. The description of model!Tom was really great, how sexy :D Love the scars, fits your backstory of course. And once more, poor Bella was left open-mouthed. :D Bella's reactions (with the bits about madness too) were pretty interesting all throughout, the snark and how she seems somewhat emotionally detached—backstory ftw. The whole dialogue with Narcissa was thoroughly hilarious, the latter being so nervous and like "what is going on?", yet not daring to speak up—love the line about frozen hearts ;)

The bondage Bellamort scene was very, very hot :D The interaction between the two was great, I loved the dialogue, the Dark Lord noticing something was off and questioning Bella, his every reaction and mannerisms, that brilliant contrast between Bella's taunting smirk and her current vulnerable position. The touching and the wand thing were perfect. I just loved Voldemort's awkwardness when he saw the magazine ;) Their dynamic is very intriguing, a dance of power back and forth at this point—Bella could make him feel awkward and he felt the need to justify himself to her, yet she gave herself to him, in such a vulnerable position, and just a kiss or the promise of one could have such incredible impact on her. The ending was brilliant—the part about his being "physically blessed" and showing it off, the resuming their activities, and his actually giving her the cup to guard at such a time, my god. That's just perfect :D

There you go as far as the story is concerned. I have a lot of nitpicky bits to point out about typos/punctuation/some phrasings, so I'll tell you that in a PM, it'll be better ;P Love!

This was interesting and funny, but the typos and odd phrasing (and what I assume are mistranslations? like "fetus" where it should have been "baby" or "infant") made it a bit hard to understand what you trying to say in a lot of places.

Also, Narcissa is 4 years younger than Bellatrix, which would have made her 15 years old here if Bellatrix is 19...

This fic was awesome; especially the part about Hephzibah and the photo made me laugh. Voldy on the front page of Playwitch, who would have thought? :D
And of course a bit of skilfully written Bellamort, which is quite rare itself, with little funny parts like Tom trying to explain himself, or Bella's precognition about Harry.
Loved it.

When I read the challenge assignment, I thoughti t was quite impossible to bring of with our favourite characters but you actually managed to make it make sense which I would have considered impossible if someone had told me about the challenge and the pairing before.
The part with Bellatrix, Draco and Narcissa was hilarious though I wouldn't have needed the images from the last part but tastes are different as we all know...

Holy crap, I love this. It's really not often that one sees humourous Bellamort - and especially not well-written humourous Bellamort. But this was just great! The whole thing made me smile. I loved the beginning, with Tom being forced into taking the picture, I loved Bellatrix calling baby Draco a "viable fetus" (I giggled), and I definitely loved that ending, haha. :3 Bellamort and bondage, what's not to love?

Really well done. And I must say I was surprised that you wrote Bellamort for this challenge, since I'd have thought something like that would be impossible. But this was a really pleasant surprise. Great job! :D

Loved it. I reckon your right the only reason Bellatrix would give blessing for Narcissa to marry Lucius is because she didn't want her running and marrying a mudblood.