Sword Art Online

VERY GOOD!

Oooh Locus, talk about exciting cliffhanger for a story!
Loved it, very nice. I didn’t like it at first since Wash was a bit ooc, but this was a nice read.
I like his and Yang’s ... relationship or whatever they have, and you’ve done well with character interractions.

The one thing I can’t wait for the most is to read about what will happen between Tex and Carolina... will Tex be able to tell her the truth? Will she meet Wash again? Will she join them against the director? Or will one of them kill the other? .. .damn I feel bad about Carolina, thinking she’s working with the good guys, when it’s as far off as it could possibly be.
Plz happy ending.

Washington seems pretty ooc, and even if he wasn’t the best freelancer he would still know the correct form for fighting..
but I’ll give this a shot.

meta was shot 9 times in his neck

That just scaired me shitless

almost forgot this is the chapter that chief has his cameo nice way to blend halos lore into a rvb and rwby crossover

wait chief has a cameo that was the best cameo to have him in

Didn't seem out of character to me. He lightened up, sure, but he was ordered to.

Oh I read wrong... Well it may not be 150 k but it's still 90 a 40 k ongoing sequel.

Woo! A finished 150k RvB fanfic! Okay I'm gonna read this RIGHT NOW.

A couple problems here, firstly is our switching from present to past tense constantly is very off-putting, it's even in your very first line. Secondly, you didn't address just why exactly Washington is allowed to go to Beacon. He's a grown man, he has no place at a school for teenagers unless he's part of the staff, which he isn't.

You should try to not switch between past and present tense when writing. Using only one tense, not counting future tense, is more professional and can give better flow to your writing. Besides that small detail, I enjoyed reading your story.

lol love the picture

"Wash, try to remember the basics of CQC."