GOOD JOB MELODY

just creative critisism,but you should probally work on your writing style a makes it a little weird to read but isnt bad as many others ive seen. Also,If you do write a story, preferablly start where events in your summary begin.

I read a similar story involving Ichigo in bleach where he supposedly met Harribel instead of Grimjow...15 chapters of nothing except the EXACT events from the series starting all the way back from when they entered Heuco Mundo...i REALLY wanted to scream at that one author...

now granted some do this for maybe a chapter or two, like u seem to be, but that one author...ARGH! 15 chapters and he didnt even get to the Ichigo vs Dordinini scene...

I'd enjoy reading this if you continued to write this story. I eagerly await the next chapter.

I personally think you're doing great so far. The only thing I reccomend is that you say you're doing a complete rewrite in the summary instead of from a certain point, I expected this to start off right at the bottom of the World Tree. Other than that, you're golden. And those 'butts' should be ignored or taken as constructive critisim, although he/she could have been nicer about it.

por favor siguelo!quiero mas de esta paraja que es lo mas!

This is the first time I've read your work and its good and so far follows the story line. However, it is a little short, but keep it coming! Add a bit wording that describes their pain, pleasure, shock, awe, and other emotions. It may add more depth to the characters, especially since you can't see their faces and other body language in a story as you can in the Videos. I look forward to reading more.

Never ever ever ever ever put an author's notes in the story like that. A star or a number to indicate the thing you're not sure about, okay. But an AN right in there? No. Just no.

Interesting intro.
Looking forward to more.