This is it! Thank Chuck, this is the conversation I wanted and never got! It's so much better than Sam's "I changed my mind" line at the end of the season.
I love what you did because Sam's explanation about not looking for Dean always seemed a little weak (this makes way more sense). Plus, it bothered me that Dean never seemed to really grasp the severity of tricking Sam like he did, and that Sam said something so ambiguous it could be understood to mean he would let Dean die. This was a very satisfying fix.
You wrote close to character with interesting and engaging dialog. And I love the little section at the end. Thanks so much for this!

Ohh gosh, this is one of the best season 9 fics I've read in quite some time. How the hell did I miss this one back in good old 2014?
I adore your approach; as in, not making one of the brothers the ultimate villain of the story. Also, thank you so much for their conversation - it was everything I wanted from life and I'm still practically screeching in delight.

Ah, I have this incredible love/hate relationship with season 9, and this fic captures that beautifully...which is to say I am not 100% sure how I feel about it. I wanted this conversation (still do!) but even after it's over, there is something cathartic about reading balanced takes on it, that don't put the blame for everything solely on one or the other brother. I think that Sam doesn't quite appreciate the pressure Dean was under when he made that call. But I also do think that if Sam could explain it like this (if this is truly how he feels about Gadreel's violation) that Dean would react with just the horror you describe. (I do wonder, given later events, how much of the reason he's so angry and unwilling to consider Sam's side is because of the Mark's influence, too...)

And I liked Sam's thought that he's the talker and Dean's the thinker, because while Sam comes across as the more intellectual one, they both are smart enough to be very complicated inside their heads.

Also the end, aww. Because they can get through this - and do - but it's so nice to see the little steps along the way!

Bravo. I was in anguish season 9 because they didn't have this exact conversation. ;)

The thoughts and motivations you illustrate for both Sam and Dean jive with how I think about it all: Purgatory, Sam retiring, Gadreel, the "partners not brothers" talk, ect.

Thanks for this story. The prose flows well with strong details and natural (gut wrenching) dialogue.

KCS and SPN - what can possibly be better than this power-plant of happiness? Seriously, I nearly we... I've nearly gone through the roof with joy when I saw you drive off onto this bumpy, bloody and foggy trail of endless bromance.
Thank you for adding to my canon with this fanfic. You were allways good with it - and with making me feel sooo much better after I've read your story, no matter what. You are like an old time friend) Anyway, I've watched 9-th season too fast to comprehend everything in detail, but you did it for me and boy how good it feels. You helped me to grasp same old vibe in crazy new developements and really appreciate them (Though I still watched them with interest, now they are DEAR to me, and that's thanks to you! Kisses). Your expantions and reflections are more and more spot on with years, and I'm gratefull you went into it, thank you very much.
Whew, now I'm ready to go out there and brave it all. ;)

Oh my sigh...They should have done this in an episode. Thank you

This is a very interesting take on the estrangement of that season and the one before. I can tell by reading it that you are a Sam girl! I appreciate that you approached the fic with the idea of "fixing" Sam & Dean's rift.

I think, though, the fact that you told it specifically and tightly from Sam's pov and ignored canon makes it less than believable. For example: all during season 8, Sam's attitude towards Dean's hurt and anger about not looking for him while he was in Purgatory-and not even trying to confirm whether he was dead or alive-was "Hear this, Dean: Get over it. Or we'll just part ways right now." He even said more than once to Dean, "I told you why." And I have to admit, for the life of me, I still don't know why he didn't, other than that he kind of gave up and accepted things as they were, and because of their "agreement", which everyone but him seemed to know was crap. (Bobby was appalled Sam hadn't tried to do something for Dean too.) Sam was always the one who needed Dean/his family less, and always strove for normalcy. Which apparently don't include his brother.

The storyline made Sam very unsympathetic for me. Even Jared said he didn't like it and didn't think it was one of Sam's shining moments.

Fast forward to season 9, the angel possession storyline. I get Sam's outrage over it. I do. It was, as you said, a violation. But I also understand why Dean did it. As Castiel said, it was done out of love. He refused to allow Sam to kill himself, and that is the right thing to do. The things Sam said to him-"We're not brothers, we're hunting partners", "I wouldn't have done the same thing" (saving Dean as he had Sam)-incredibly cold and mean spirited. Remember when Sam listened to the demon Ruby over his own brother, almost beat Dean to death, and started the apocalypse? That wasn't done out of love for his brother. He may have thought he was doing the right thing (even tho God himself told him not to), but he chose a demon over his own brother. Dean told him he would have a hard time trusting him after that, but he wasn't deliberately cruel about it and he did eventually forgive Sam. And he never stopped being Sam's brother-his protective older brother.

Let's just say that season 10 was a relief for me and a kind of catharsis, because Sam finally seemed to have had an epiphany and realized just how much Dean put out for him his entire life (He's always been the one saving me, it's his thing). Sam was willing to give his own life, not because he was weary of living and had given up, not because of some far flung desire to save the world, but because Dean needed him. It took him a long time to get there.

Loved this, and so wish we had seen this on the show it was much needed. Perfect too that you addressed why Sam didn't look for Dean in Purgatory, and Sam's explanation to his brother is totally why I imagined he hadn't looked for him (never understood why the writers didn't have him look for Dean as it was so out of character for Sam) Great how both acknowledged their mistakes and Sam confessed he was deliberately saying things that Dean could take the wrong way to hurt him as he had been hurt by Dean's actions. And though things still were still far from perfect between them you showed the underlying love they each have for the other was still there.
Brilliant fic, great job.

The coda is adorable! This is a really great tall between the brothers though. :)

Ok, just a quick note about this and all of your other stories I've read. It is soooooo nice to be able to read a clean, fluffy h/c fic (or several :) ) and not worry about yucky content. THANK YOU and keep up the good work!

Excellent, excellent 'fix-it' for this season. Very believable, and very fair to both sides. I wish a scene like this had actually occurred on the show, 'cause it was sorely needed. In my humble opinion, the powers that be should fire some of their writers and hire you instead. I think you'd do a much better job.

I am glad to see someone else interprets Sam's possession the same way I do. Is it understandable and forgiveable, yes, but it is serious. I don't understand why so many people are missing that point.
Also, the bit with the fruit snacks is epic. Well done.

This was fantastic! I really enjoyed them finally getting their issues out in the open and seeing things from each others point of view. Even if things aren't fully forgiven, understanding why one brother did what he did is an important step. I'm really looking forward to when the brothers finally address these issues on the show. I can't stand them being upset with each other; it's dragged on far too long.

Thanks so much for writing a fix it fic! The writers are dragging this out way too long.
The fruit snacks made me laugh:)

If I listed all the things I adored about this then my review would be as long as the story itself so I'm going to sum it all up by simply saying that I fervently wish you were writing scripts because they would be heads, shoulders, and an entire body above anything we unfortunately see on screen these days.

You did an amazing job of evenly and fairly portraying both sides of the argument and for the first time in ages I actually felt myself stop being irritated with Sam. I've struggled with the words the writers have put in his mouth of late, most of all because of the awful ambiguity to some of them, so to see *him* realise how that might have come across to Dean and the pain that would have caused was really good from my point of view.

Having said that, you also had Dean fairly accept and acknowledge his own mistakes and I loved that both of them apologised and genuinely meant it.

The glimpse of their relationship and bond slowly beginning to be restored at the end was what I have been waiting for and again you did a brilliant job keeping them in character and making the slow progress believable (more so than a one-conversation-and-we're-fine scenario).

What came through most though - throughout - was the love and affection which is still underneath all the other 'stuff', which was especially great to see from Sam from my own point of view. It's been a while since I personally have felt he still honestly loves his brother as much as he used to.

This is rapidly becoming rather long so I will finish by saying I absolutely thoroughly enjoyed this and you've made me feel much, much better about the Winchesters than I have for ages. Especially when you managed to fit in their customary (and amusing) behaviour at the end which always was a favourite of mine; the part where Sam licked an entire packet of fruit snacks to stick them on Dean's face made me chuckle aloud!

This really was utterly brilliant.