You are a very immoral women who has no loyalty to her husband(s). This is gross!

I liked your story, maybe u could put a break in between your paragraphs? But besides that it was awesome

so sweet X3

Woah. Um might I suggest going back and adding spaces. The story was cute, but it hurt my eyes to try and read it like this. Trying to keep up with where I was at was a challenge at times. Might I suggest using the fanfiction edit thing on your profile. I forget what it's really called, but anyway, good story.
JadeKurosaki

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW100000

CUTENESS! I really loved this story! The spacing was a little confusing but it was so good...who cares?! I loved this. SOO CUTE! (:

Okay, paragraphs are our friends, really! That was a hot mess! You need to be mindful of paragraphs, spacing, and know that doing so will make it far easier for your readers to read and grasp your story's plot.
Go grab a book - any book. Note how they write in paragraphs and space dialogue. Please, have more consideration for you readers.

drg

Oh, so cute! Thank YOU for your fanfics!

I love it