Not normally into Johnlock but really enjoyed your story. Very well written and thanks.

Compelling story. Well done. It's good if you stop here, a mystery for the reader to ponder as the story floats back to them throughout the day. I would also love to read how they do end up working it out, getting to their happy ending..all they way there, that is. Thank you,
Beth

Loving the story thus far!

Aww! I was looking forward to a continuation for this and it's finally here and I am not disappointed!
Definitely more exciting than the previous chapter (although the previous one was also interesting), now they'll face the wife. Oh, I'm intrigued to see how they deal with that situation!

I very much enjoyed reading the characters here. Nicely written angst!

The thing with this fic is that it has a very nice level of pace verses fluid paragraphing verses character. There are any number of stories with this sequence of events involving John and Sherlock, but (though there are very many good ones) not often is it that all three features are in good balanace.

By pace, i am reffering to how the story pans out, and far too often you find stories where the author's jumped the gun (easy thing to do) or drawn the string out too far. This is neither. It is quickly resolved, but still within the band of 'realistic', marking a well organised story.

By fluid paragraphing, i mean to destinguish the overarching pace of events with the way syntax and paragraphing are used to promote and complement the events. Or, in fewer words, the writing up of the story verses the story itself. It is the strongest point for this story I feel: a highly skilled use of language to engage the reader and to induce emotion, whilst at the same time maintaining a stable (slower) speed than the event sequence might suggest. This counterballancing is the reason why this fic reads as neither forced nor rushed :)

Your handling of character (the third point) is good. Not absolutely perfect, but then again there isn't a yardstick for perfectly portraying these two since there are a thousand different variables that are open to various interpretations. What I mean to say here is that your choice to stress Sherlock's repressed but intense emotions to the point where they (finally) come to the surface, is absolutely spot on for me - not because I am saying that is automatically correct, but because I enjoy taking his character in that direction. He is here torn between his primal emotions and higher functions, exposing an innocence that is intrinsic to Sherlock, even as his personal strength permiates through. With John, also, there is an obvious pairing of his inner strength with his capacity to care. In this situation, it innevetably leads him to a disparity between the wisdom of impulse verses extensive introversion (thinking about one's own decisions and so forth). I will say, however, that in terms of character, how you have John handling to the fallout from this is somewhat critical, because he does care and his caring for Mary is an oft overlooked or glossed over complication in an undertaking between him and Sherlock.

For the fic as a whole, the fluid boundries of perspective are very good. Hard to pin down from a critic's point of view, but I for one enjoy brief forays into what other characters are thinking and the fact that they are there whilst John's POV is dominant has not proved intrusive at all.

My favourite moments from this fic so far are the bits where Sherlock loses control of the situation, because those are what you've described the best. The descriptions are understated while the dialogue is compelling; a moving combination right there. In fact I must give you a thumbs up on all the dialogue while I'm here, because this re-enforces character more than anything else and is very well done.

So...hope that was long enough for you. Overall conclusion: nice job :D

P.S: you put 'meat' instead of 'meet' in the line after the paragraphs describing Sherlock's telling John about his hunting the network :P

Angst. I generally avoid it, but in your tender hands its a beautiful thing. I look forward to seeing how this pans out. Thank you.
Beth

Ahhh, I'm delighted to read you're continuing this story. I love it so much. :D and your style of writing. It's really good, I'm jealous. ;)

So, I'm looking forward to you writing about them. :)

See you next time

Ayno

Very interesting, albeit not as much as the first one. But John coming to terms with his feelings is always a nice read! :)

I really loved this scene and think that it is beautifully written! Can't wait for more :)

Poor Sherlock! This is well written and I would love to see it continued. Especially if they end up together in the end.

Great writing, PLEASE KEEP IT UP

My heart hurts.

Oh God! I love it! Please continue this!
The last line made me chuckle. He only admitted it now, when it was obvious to John from the start that something wasn't right! haha

I want to see a continuation really bad!