Hey,Rabbit from Reddit here, you once posted your story because of request. I have to admit it took me a while to get to work again after a long writing spree and work. Buut here I am.

Some thing I noticed: You love long sentences. I am guilty of that crime too, and it's not a bad thing. But sometimes short is allright. Or just make a pause, you can still detail things.

I have to admit I lost track of winx, I watched maybe one season at most years back.

Next gen, I was always fond of sequels, looking where events brought the whole world after the actual ending.

This is awesome and six years wow that is a long time and cannot wait for more of this it is awesome

what about bloom how will she feel knowing that sky cheated on her with roxy and will bloom leave sky and go for someone better and will sky and roxy get together?

Reviewer's note: I haven't watched Winx Club for years, and even then I rarely saw it. I know who Bloom is, though, I can give you that.

Overall, this chapter provided a good set-up for the rest of the story. Exposition was a little heavy-handed at times, but was mostly carried out soundly through scene. Actually, the lack of summary here is great, as this throws us into the situation in a very personal way.
The plot, I have only one problem with: Why can't Roxy just turn Sky's offer down? She doesn't have to respect his wishes, and if she really wants her kids to live the lives she wants them to, there's nothing stopping her, is there? It just seems like she considers it to move the plot forward.
Minor nitpicks- Breath mark and appositive commas are often absent. Dialogue can't contain parenthesis, use dashes/hyphens to break that up as an appositive. Occasionally, there are a lot of individual lines that could be combined into paragraphs- there's no reason to leave these separated.

A good start, even if I have no real attachment to the subject matter.

I have a strong love for magical shields. Malcolm's powers are awesome to me. I can't wait to see who's hunting Selina.

It's good to see that Malcolm has more friends than the second generation Winx. I think that that's good. There was a lot of dialogue in this chapter. Calm before storm?

Interesting story! Do you think you could continue soon? You did a good job with your grammar and plot, so thanks for that!

Pretty good story but I did notice a few things. The main thing I noticed is that there's a lot of dialogue and it generally follows the same format. It quickly got distracting for me. I might suggest changing the dialogue format up a bit, so that the spoken part isn't always immediately followed by however the character reacted or replied. You could put the reactions in the middle of the dialogue, breaking up sentences, or at the beginning to make the characters' reactions seem a bit more immediate. Other than that, good job!

This chapter made me happy. Not because of the scenerio or argument, but how well it tied to She Won't Know. It made me giddy. I feel for Roxy and Sky, but they should have told him earlier. He might have been able to handle it better. Kids are stronger than what parents give them credit for.

Not bad! I like the way the Malcolm interacts with Titiana and his friends . This second gen story is quite good! Consider it followed :)

Malcolm is no fool and will refuse something like that offer without thinking twice about it. Being the what people would call a bastard and his mother a whore. This would interfere with the line of succession. Earklyon has had the civil war in the series. They also have those ruthless ninja from the second season. Accepting would be like cutting his own throat also condemning his sister too. Looking forward to how you write what Malcolm would do next.

Keep up the good work.

Good chapter.

oh shit um will bloom find out and raise hell on sky and roxy or will she not know a thing?

Good story
Keep on going
Hope Malcolm accepts his father.

Oooh, I'm really liking how you are handling this story. I feel sorry for poor Malcolm. On top of everything else he did that day (which totally stressed him out, no doubt about it), he gets to learn who his dad is...and why he had no contact with the man. That royally sucks for him, but you handled it very well.