I wish you could continue the story but you probably lost the motivation to continue it.

Great chapter update soon

Enjoying this. hope to see more

You're a pretty good writer and the story is interesting so far. Your writing seems a bit cold/somewhat rushed at times though (in the first chapter especially), but still, it's a nice read overall.

Awesome chapter keep it up

I like it

Nice premise and nicely written. I could get into this. Not sure about the little bit at the end, I couldn't understand the skip, as it was so short, perhaps make it a chapter of it's own and extend it more.

The writing is nice and clean, with only a few misplaced commas, so well done for that I really do like the premise, though, and will continue to read on when I have time

This is awesome. Keep up the good work!

Yay. New chappie! Can't wait to see where you take this story. I hadn't seen it anywhere, but are you planning any pairings for the story?

Super interesting story. Haven't read a self insertion in a while and you have done a pretty good job of it. Really hope to see some more from this story when you get the chance. Thanks for writing! :)

Yay we finally meet Mary!

Loved this chapter the best ! Hope u update like this again :P

What I can't wait for is for Michael to meet Mary xD.

This is a great story. Interesting to have a plot device that
was important at the start (Clock of Eden) but not really mentioned
right now. Maybe you'll want to come back to that.

And also, NO ONE THAT IS NOT EDWARD SHALL LAY A HAND IN
A SEXUAL WAY TO MARY READ/JAMES KIDD (sorry for that spoiler if you
hadn't finished game/book) AS SHE BELONGS TO EDWARD AND EDWARD
ONLY. Thank you for your cooperation.

Pettin' is my hobby.
likeaPETTER

Good chapter hope you continue the story