Read my stories not my opinions: I don't always mean the things I say and I don't always believe the things I feel.

When struggling to write a “nice” character, it had me musing…

I’m not a nice person.

Being an abrasive jerk used to make me feel guilty, so I tried to change. I tried to be polite and palatable, and I can do it, like anyone else. How well? I don’t know. You tell me. People like nice people, and with good reason, it feels good to be around nice people. You can be comfortable, they like you. I however am not overly concerned about making people feel comfortable, in fact, I believe people who only seek comfort are extremely dangerous because when the going gets tough, these are the people who race to the store to buy out all the toilet paper. I instigate, I lie, I’m mellow dramatic, I play games, run tests, I can’t always be laid-back, I’m sorry (a sorry ass?)

I want to be a good person, and I am. I hope. I swear on my soul (or whatever that is) that I will never stop trying to become a better person, but on my journey, allow me to fuck up; it helps me learn to have courage and acceptance in opposition. I’m a trial and error type of person. Keep me in check, of course, and I will do the same for you. I can be good, but nice? The world needs instigators—people don’t like instigators—they won’t like me. People are stupid—like me. We are all stupid together, and that makes me feel love. I hope you feel love too.

I always tried not to be so intense, but I’m passionate, so why fight it? I am who I am. As long as I try my best to be good while accepting the shitty aspects of my character, I may be able to eradicate any flaws that prevent me from being good (things like: laziness, avoidance, selfishness, irrational fear.) Working hard is the answer, and not letting people down, standing up for myself on behalf of those who genuinely love me, helping people, and having a good attitude when it’s required of me (keyword being when.) These are the qualities that will make me good, so that’s what I’ll do. But while I do all that, can’t I call someone a cunt if I think they're a cunt?