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PERSONAL INFO

NAME: KAYLA

AGE: 22

ZODIAC YEAR: HORSE

GENDER: FEMALE

LOCATION: SOUTH CAROLINA

Read this is someone's profile thought it was hysterical.

Everything I Learned In Life, I Learned From CLAMP

1. If you're not angsty, you should be.
2. There is no such thing as coincidence.
3. Evil takes the form of four Japanese mangaka.
4. Everything's better in alternate universes.
5. If you're precious to your brother, you're probably doomed.
6. Actually, if you're precious to anyone, you're doomed.
7. In fact, you're probably just doomed anyways.
8. Treasure your eyes. You never know when they'll be taken away.
9. Subtext really does equal buttsex.
10. Everything has a price.
11. The most powerful people are alcoholics.
12. Never trust the bunny/pork bun.
13. True love always prevails. Usually.
14. Love comes in all forms.
15. At least you’re not Subaru.
16. Nothing says love like agreeing to be somebody’s primary food source.
17. If someone comments on your eyes being pretty, you will probably lose them several chapters later.
18. Even if you and your beloved are a canon couple, by the end, you still won’t have kissed.
19. Even in other series, you still will not kiss.
20. If your grandparents are constantly on vacation, they most likely don’t exist.
21. Never carry your most treasured item around with you.
22. Everybody has an evil twin.
23. Tokyo Tower is, more than likely, the source of all evil.
24. If you’re good-looking, you’re doomed or angsty. Probably both.
25. Don’t expect to live a happy life. You’ll only be disappointed.
26. The more they smile, the harder they fall.
27. Your fan base is directly proportional to how angsty you are.
28. Everyone is pretty, even when bleeding or in agony.
29. Torture and mind games are just another way of showing you care.
30. Your boss is bad for you.
31. The world is split into three genders: male, female and androgynous.
32. Blood is aesthetic.
33. It’s not real magic unless you can conjure a two-meter-wide magic circle.
34. Flat strips of paper can reach the same speed as an F1 race car.
35. Fire doesn’t burn unless the plot requires it to.
36. No matter how ripped your shirt gets, it’s not coming off.
37. Men with black hair and glasses (including sunglasses) cannot be trusted.
38. Anyone who says having magic powers is cool could not have been more wrong.
39. It’s possible to store two swords and enough clothing for four people inside the mouth of a bunny/pork bun.
40. Who wears short shorts? Little boy detectives wear short shorts!
41. Four leaf clovers aren’t as lucky as they’re made out to be.
42. If you’re a character voiced by Megumi Ogata/cool/fan favourite/bishounen, you’re doomed.
43. Hell, you’re in a CLAMP anime. You’re doomed.
44. Remember your dreams- they’re the key to the plot.
45. If you can’t whistle, “hyuu” instead.
46. If you feel someone’s watching you, they probably are.
47. If he’s tall, dark and handsome, he’s taken- by the outrageously cute boy standing next to him.
48. Feathers have the ultimate power. Buy a chicken.
49. If your series is happy sugar-coated fairies and gay, you will most likely all die a horrible death at the hand of a psychotic clone.
50. Everything will be alright.
51. Just because you return from a journey, doesn’t mean you’ll return in one piece.
52. Everything happens in Tokyo.
53. Cute stuffed animals make the best magical servants.
54. Swords longer than your height are easy to manage.
55. Attack names/chants are more important than actual skill or experience.
56. Cherry blossoms are a sign of good luck.
57. Cherry blossoms are a sign of bad luck.
58. Cherry blossoms are- sod that, if you see cherry blossoms, run.
59. Even after your heart is pierced by someone's hand, you will still have plenty of time to divulge deep dark secrets/words of wisdom/angst/last words before you actually die.
60. Show your true love not by exchanging rings, but eyes.
61. No one is really happy. They’re just hiding some dark secret.
62. Dressing someone up in cute but outlandish outfits is a sign of great love and affection.
63. The easiest way to solve a love triangle is to kill somebody.
64. Inanimate objects have feelings.
65. Eyes, especially magic ones, are in high demand.
66. Cosplay is completely normal in Tokyo.
67. Love your parents while you can.
68. The general public is oblivious to strange/supernatural/inexplicable/mysterious events/people/objects.
69. Don’t give your name to strangers.
70. Wherever you are, there is a Miyuki somewhere in the background.
71. Apparently, magic allows you to eat other people’s eyes like candy.
72. Walking between a fence and a lamp-post will send you to another time/dimension.
73. Never trust shop owners.

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not go to class sky clad
31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip off it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous
43) I will not lick Trevor
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey"
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

NOW... I WOULD LIKE TO DEDICATE PART OF MY PROFILE TO MY MOTHER, FOR SHE IS A WONDERFUL MOM. (Who has passed away now, may she rest in Peace. I am leaving this here because she was and still is an amazing woman, and she always thought it was funny I had these here. Love you mommy!)

Random quotes and conversations between the us.

Topic: Fruits Basket

Mom: Did that orange-headed kid just curse?
Me: Ummm...Yeah...
Mom: Oh...Ya know he's kind of cute.

Mom: How old is Kyo's teacher.
Me: I don't know 30's or 40's probably...why?
Mom: Because if he was real and your Dad and I were seperated, I'd marry him.

Mom: You do know what Haru showed that dude with the glasses don't you?
Me: No, and since it's not important I don't care.
Mom: (Feels she should tell me and explains)
Me: Ya know... next time you feel the need to tell me something like that... don't.

Topic: Tsubasa Chronicle

Mom: That tall black-haired guy whose keeps yelling is hot.
Me: Oh, you mean Kurogane? Yeah, he wouldn't date you even if he was real.
Mom: Why not?
Me: You don't know?
Mom: No I don't, now tell me.
Me: You really need to pay more attention to this show.
...One week later...
Mom: About that blonde guy, is he flirting with my whats-his-name?
Me: The blonde's name if Fai, and "your"'s name is Kurogane. Or if you prefer Kuro-sama. And about your question, depends, if he is then would you make me stop watching this series?
Mom: No.
Me: OK THEN. Yes, yes he is that's why he keeps using all those cute little name.
Mom: Oh...so you a fan of it?
Me: Yep.
Mom: Oh ok then...You know it's obvious that Fai is the 'female' right?

Topic: My mom talking while taking a nap on the couch.

Me: Momma... it's 4:30(afternoon) you told me to wake you up so you could cook dinner.
Mom: Pick a ca...(trails off)
Me: What?
Mom: It's your turn pick a card.
Me: Right... Momma we're not playing a game, your asleep, so wake up.
Mom: I'm not going to until you pick the stupid card so that I can take my turn and pull my feet off.
Me: O_o... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Breathe AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Mom: (wakes up) What are you laughing at, I was sleeping you know.

Me: (Playing on our old laptop while drinking Kool-aid)
Mom: snoring PEPSI!! resumes snoring
Me: (Kool-aid comes out of nose)

Topic: My mom descussing the Geography of the world.

Mom: (Looking at the newest state quarter when they were still being released) HEY!! I thought these were supposed be only have the fifty states on it.
Me: It is.
Mom: Then why the heck is New Mexico on this one?
My Aunt: Isn't that the capital of Mexico?

Mom: (Back when I was in 2nd grade) This say we live in North America, I always thought it was South America.
Me: What on earth made you think THAT?
Mom: Well, we live in South Carolina, South Carolina, South America, they sound alike.
Me: Then what about North Carolina.
Mom: OH yeah.

Mom: (While describing to wher North Dakota is to her friend.) Well if you go to the middle of the map, then go almost all the way to the top, look to your left and there it is.

Mom: WOW!! I didn't know Canada bordered us all the way accross the top of the United States.

My friend sent me these questions, if you own this and want credit let me know, and if anyone knows what the 14th question is, let me know.

1) list eight bishis of your liking! They can be your faves or just any random bishi. Make sure to put them in random order to make the quiz more fun.

1 Fai D. Flourite

2 Shuichi Shindou

3 Eiri Yuki

4 Kurogane

5 Hikaru Hitachiin

6 Atsushi Otani

7 Ikuto Tsukiyomi

8 Kaoru Hitachiin

2. Bishi One goes shopping with Bishi Five. What happens?

That's simple, Hikaru would trade a custom made outfit from his mom's if Fai will show his strange outfit to the host club.

3. Bishi Five, Two and Seven need to plan a surprise birthday party for Bishi Three.

Hikaru and Ikuto would just let Shuichi spaz out, and pretend to do things while he was decorating

4. Bishi Four confesses his love for Bishi Eight. How does Bishi Eight react?

Kaoru would ignore it until Fai and Hikaru got back from shopping, at which time Fai would take away Kurogane's sake and 'punish' him.

5. Pretend Bishi Six is a hairstylist. He wants to give Bishi Three a new haircut. What does Bishi Three's haircut end up looking like?

It would look ok as long as Eiri sat on a very low chair so that Otani could reach him.

6. Bishi Two bakes a cake for Bishi Five. What kind of cake is it?

Well since Hikaru likes spicy things... Shuichi would think it funny to make it 'Spicy Marmalade' flavored.

7. Bishi Six gets drunk and ends up hitting on Bishi Two. How does Bishi Eight react?

Kaoru would wonder how the two chibi's would pick who was seme, then wonder how they found the sake Fai had hidden from Kurogane.

8. Bishi Eight gets Bishi Three pregnant, somehow. How does everyone react to the news?

1 Fai D. Flourite : Awww that's so cute... Kuro-chan let's try that two. _

2 Shuichi Shindou : Cries You sicko you hurt my Yuki.

3 Eiri Yuki : faints

4 Kurogane : Ewwww... 'blushes' later.

5 Hikaru Hitachiin : That's my bro!!

6 Atsushi Otani : uhhhhhh...I'll be leaving now. runs

7 Ikuto Tsukiyomi : Well, I laid an egg, it can't be much different.

8 Kaoru Hitachiin : Fai, when I said hide the Sake I didn't mean IN MY DRINK.

9. Bishi One wants to propose to Bishi Four. What does he say?(I had WAY to much fun with this answer.

Kurogane: Only if you pretend that you didn't ask, and then let me.
Fai: OK KURO-SEME.
Kurogane:...
Fai:...well?
Kurogane: Marry me?
Fai: YAY! I can't wait to tell Tomoyo-hime and our 'children'... By the way, you know how Eiri-san got pregent?
Kurogane: Yeah?
Fai: Well, I found what was left of the potion, and well, Mokona isn't going to be the baby in the family anymore.
Kurogane: 'faint'
Fai: He's excited!!

10. Bishi Five goes insane and takes Bishi Three hostage. Which bishi will save Bishi Three- Bishi One or Seven?

Hikaru is jeoulous of the attention his brother is giving Eiri so he kidnaps him, Fai would save him but he is going to be a mommy too, so Ikuto tranforms with Yoru and saves Eiri.

11. Bishi Six gets hurt and ends up in the hospital. Which Bishi will have more sympathy- Bishi Four or Eight?

Kaoru, because Kurogane is prepairing for his wedding to Fai.

12. In a fairytale story, Bishi Five is the princess, Bishi Eight is the Wicked Evil Person who threatens the world, and Bishi Seven is the brave knight. Will Bishi Seven be able to save the world?

NO!! because it turns out to be a prank that the Hitachiin twins are plling off.

13. Bishi Five has a one night stand with Bishi Three. How do they react waking up?

Hikaru: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Eiri:Ehhhh, you're brother was better.

14. THERE WAS NO 14!!

15. Bishi Seven is a stripper at a local strip bar that both Bishi Two and Eight are at. Who pays Bishi Seven more for his services: Bishi Two or Eight?

Kaoru ofcourse, he is richer, and Eiri doesn't allow Shuichi to pay people like that.

16. Bishi Three suddenly wins a trip to the Caribbean. Who does he take with him: Bishi Seven or Four?

He takes Kurogane because they both need a vacation away from their idiots (who end up buying tickets and follwing them anway)

17. Bishi Eight gets a completely new makeover. How do Bishi Six and Two react?

They think it looks fine.

18. Bishi Two and Four get married! Who's the bride and who's the groom?

Kurogane is the groom Shuichi is the bride, but they are both under the influence of sake again and Fai and Eiri come to drag them home.

19. Bishi Eight has a fight with Bishi One- who wins?

Fai duh, he can use MAGIC and is a vampire.

20. LAST QUESTION! If Bishi One bought Bishi Six the best gift ever, what would it be?

PLATFORM SHOES!!

WELL THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, I'M OFF TO GO READ SOME FANCTION. SEE YOU LATER. _