Do I need a disclaimer, really? Obviously this is fan fiction: fiction writen by a fan of someone else's fiction. Obviously I'm not able, or even trying, to make any money from this. It's all about self gratification and, obviously, lots of reviews!

STOP! IF YOU HAVENT READ THE STORY YOU WILL READ SPOILERS HERE! CLOSE BIO AND SCROLL DOWN TO THE STORIES.

Min Ferrin (previously Daddy's Girl) is the first story. Different Sisters is the continuation of the alternate ending of the first story.

4/14/08

I'm looking for a beta reader, not for the whole mess, just the current chapters as they come out. (If you feel strongly about wanting to beta earlier chapters I wont tell you no, and good fixes would be worth reposting.) But for the new chapters I want fairly quick turn around time, say a day or two. I get pretty excited when I get a chapter done and want to get it posted pretty quick most of the time. I dont mind story edits and enjoy discussions about where the story is going, but I know where it will end already. I do run a spell checker but sometimes the wrong word is spelled right and I miss it. Sometimes I combine two different sentences from my long-hand notes and dont realize I've messed it up, because it plays in my head and I cant see it in front of me. My typical errors are: too many commas, love of semi-colons, -ed instead of -ing, s or d reversals, the occasional tense issue, repeated words (though sometimes that is puporseful, tell me anyway in case it isnt).

If you aren't already a reader of the story: Original OFC story picks up after Chronicles of Riddick You need to have seen both movies but not necessary to have seen the cartoon linking them, although helpful in one part. Some Pitch Black/Chronicles rewrite but not fully ALT Universe. NOT a Mary-Sue and I worked hard to that end. Some romance and sex that is mostly story oriented... c'mon you cant have Vin Diesel without a pretty girl for him... Some violence, obviously, and a few gruesome things but lightly written. We're heading into prison in the story and I wont be romanticizing it. Rape will be mentioned but I wont be describing it in detail. Story is dramatic and has some angsty moments but isnt hurt/comfort, there is no slash or other unrealistic scenarios. (How does mpreg become it's own genre, anyway??) There is nothing remotely crossed-over in my story, nor will there ever be... but the occassional homage to some favorite science fiction writers :D TANSTAAFL!

I write fast and breezy, sometimes I have too little detail and people get confused because I see it in my head and dont quite get it down through my fingerstips. I'm not strong on the science, this is a chracter driven story with lots of drama and I think every single chapter might end in a cliffy -scratches head- ...maybe... I'll have to check... ;)

I like full edits, anything that catches your eye that might make the chapter better, writing right in between the words with an alt color is fine, sarcasm or humor is good, any positive marks for things you particularly enjoyed is a bonus that helps me focus on whats good in my writing. I wont pout or fight, but I might defend a writing trick with the hope you will help me make it work towards the goal I want to achieve.

1/15/08

It's been a long road together. I'm so happy you are still reading. I'm even happier to be writing again. The long wait in between chapters was just real life rearing it's ugly head, no need for details there. This latest chapter is 2 chapters long, i hope you enjoy it. I have another chapter on notebook paper that i'm finishing up. Riddick is always harder to write than Zemma. I just cant say thank you enough for the reviews and the readership. I hope to keep you all happy.

1/30/07

Okay... did I cheat? Was it a cheat bringing Fry back? Or did it play?

That last chapter was exhausting. If it affected you as well, I'd love some feedback.

1/29/07

Okay, I'm in a Zepplin mood. I've dropped a few lyrics in the latest chapters. No copywrite infringement intended. No telling if there may be more. -grin-

Reccomended listening while reading the latest chapters are "When the Levee Breaks" (the theme music to chapter of the same name of course) and "No Quarter" and of course "The Battle of Evermore" just because if you only know Led Zepplin for Stairway to Heaven then you are truly missing out on one of their greatest works.

"...the dragon of darkness, sunlight blinds his eye..."

1/26/07

Yes -smiles- I'm gonna finish it!

Couple of things have been delayng me... my computer died for one. I just got my new one after 5 months! UGH. Second is that I've been a tad distracted with an original fiction about a bald headed werewolf. -smirk- Third is that I've been waiting for a piece of reference material to arrive from Barnes&Nobles. There's damn little about women's prisons, even on the net.

Meanwhile I've made my darling daughter moderator and staff on the C2 and Forum. She knows what I want to see there and is online every day.

7/3/06

-cries in my cheerios-

I can't read anymore. I feel terrible telling people their MarySue Adventure isn't worth continuing. I dont want people to stop writing... just stop writing THIS:

Her name is exotic, unless her parent's were children of the 60's. She's barely out of her teens, a little slip of a thing, beautiful, andterrified of everything except Riddick. She knows everything about him, and he is intrigued by it. He steals her away from her terrible life and horrible past, and she in return teaches him all about love, goodness and sharing. Where they are going doesnt matter any more than what they do when they get there, because the highlight of the story is when the beauty tames the beast in bed. After that it's just a soap opera menagerie of flat characters that make Riddick jealous and the girl cry... until it's time for her to kick ass just to make Riddick proud. The only mystery is who her parents are and what they'll name the kid. He wants a boy, of course, and she wants a girl. They live happily ever after, with one of each.

-sigh-

Stories should unfold in a way that it is apparent life would be happening no matter what character happened into the mess. It's not bad to give Riddick a love interest, how can we not? The man is yummy. I get that. Hell,I wrote him a girl too. I think the challenge is to write a story that would BE a story even if you plucked Riddick (or the OFC) out of it.

If Riddick disapeared from anywhere in the story, Zemma would go on, or vice-versa. Hypatia and Jack would still be going round and round. The Furyans would still be searching for land of milk and honey. Elementals and the Family would still be trying to control the universe. Don would still be looking for something not-boring to do... and hopefully you'd still be entertained by it. There would still be crying, sex, violence and love, but not all at the same time!

The problem with masturbation fantasies (mary-sues, by definition) is that most of us can't get into someone else's self-indulgence. And for those of us over the age of 20, it just makes us roll our eyes...and cry in our cheerios that we can't say something nicer.

7/2/06

Yes, yes, I added myself first to my C2. Gotta practice with something.

Email me your submittals for good Riddick writing, strong on story and character. Ficlets accepted, but not poems or songs. I'd prefer to avoid RJs and MarySues, especially with graphic sexual content. OFCs and AUs are very welcome. Though being able to at least rhyme in canon is a plus, it isn't strictly necessary.

Finished pieces or regularly updated, please. If it has been a year, they've moved onto something else.

Please review if you enjoyed something, even if it was one line. If you have a critical review, please try to shape it in a way that the author can learn something. If you just have a prefrence of style, state that openly as the author may appreciate your POV and still choose to write in their own style.

Ultimately I'd like to see 'professional' readers beta the writers. We writers are terrible about beta'ing each other! We are either trying not to 'borrow' a great idea, or are putting off that chapter we promised last week. LOL

I have at least 20 good readers, and you guys have certainly read more than I have here. Lets get a list of the best of Riddick and let those authors know they've done well... so they will continue to give us good things to keep up warm and cozy at night.

RJs that dont make me squick will be accepted. Same with MarySues that make me laugh.

6/30/06

Don't worry. Don't give up! I finished Min Ferrin and I'll finish this. I'm just working on an original werewolf story on the side while my brain worked out a few details that I'd gotten hung up on in this story.

You see, generally my story is like a role playing game. First, as the game-master, I set up the scenario with all the little traps and monsters... then I play the game as the player characters and try to overcome... well, myself. Sometimes I'm a better player than a game-master... sometimes I stump my characters. For awhile now I've been stumped. There are certain things I want to accomplish, certain plot points I want to hit and future-chapters that are already written that need to be fitted in. But I can't break character either... Jack can't become a real girl overnight. Zemma can't suddenly start walking the dusty streets to back up her man. Hypatia needed her intro. Another character still needs to be introduced. I'd jammed myself up! I started to think I'd need another whole book to get it all in. Some things I've just given up on being able to accomplish... I'd really wanted Zemma to play poker for big money somewhere... oh well.

Anyway, now that the major details are fixedin my head the chapters should come a lot quicker. There's quite a few more twists yet. Hang on, it's a bumpy ride. Zemma is about to go to prison, a plot point I'd wanted from the begining.

Still to come: The mystery woman only Riddick can see. Alpha-Furians. The man Riddick was cloned from. Furyan refugees. The Family. The plague. Jack's sister.

Oh, and zombies.

Have I left anything out?

5/19/06

Fixed the typo of Zemma's shoulder suddenly appearing on Don's body. LOL

Glad everyone's happy and sticking with me. More to come, maybe Sunday?

Riddick and Don aren't quite all made up yet. Zemma still has to meet Hypatia. Jack has a little more to do. I think there might be a new character standing in the wings.

-peers into the shadows stage right-

Yes, I think I see someone there alright!

8/31/05

"Don't worry, I wont tell anyone."

If you lived on a ship with THAT much testosterone in the air...and Riddick was pushing you to push some little girl, ok ok Jack, harder and harder...would YOU want him to know you went soft? -wink-

8/30/05

Again, it's been a long time. My apologies for that.

No. Zemma is never really described in detail. In Daddy's Girl we learn that she has long dark hair that she keeps braided, but even the color is not mentioned. We know she is slightly taller and rounder than Jack, and shorter than Riddick. She has green (not emerald) eyes like Jack, when her lenses aren't up, and the same silver blue ones as Riddick when they are.She looks younger than she is because she is Furyan and they live about twice as long as other human stock. In Sisters we find she is getting too thin, and taking on Jack's angular proportions.

This is all on purpose.

When I started this I was worried I was writing a Mary Sue, and tried hard to avoid the worst traps. She isnt perfectly beautiful: her hair isnt silky and raven, her eyes dont sparkle except with humor. She doesn't sing beautifully. She isnt psychic. She has no special powers and in fact has a lot to learn about almost everything except fine cuisine. I even took her pet tiger away from her. She should be, in the end, "every-woman".

To make her uniquely herself, I made her a little crazy, but not too much. She is a little obsessive compulsive, counting things and repetition soothes her. She is infinately patient (to the point of maybe endangering herself), but she had to be to survive as long as she did. She has a major phobia (open spaces), and quite possibly a post hypnotic suggestion buried in her psyche.

Zemma and Riddick will never have it comepletely easy. That wouldnt be any fun. Neither of them really knows what to do in a relationship. Zemma mistakes sex for love for awhile, but she's learning. Riddick mistakes pain for love and pushes Jack further and further away from him.

Meanwhile, Jack really is starting to mature a little bit, though it takes accepting the role of child to do it. And Don finally has a personal arc. But he will tell you about it himself.

1/28/05

It's been a long time since I've commented here. The Daddy's Girl original ending was perhaps a tad rushed. Someday I may flesh it out more, but probably it will just stand as it because I am not unhappy with it. It was the ending I always pictured and it was a good place to make the break. Riddick had to leave, chasing Jack seemed the ideal way. I have more in my head about what happened to Zemma in those years without Riddick, and what happened immediately after Riddick returned. But none of that is important right now.

If you've been reading Different Sisters then you may have a better idea of why Riddick killed Jack in the first ending. I know a lot of you were outraged, but it was, in fact, in character. Riddick always suspected Jack was one of the sisters. What you dont know, and cant assume, is that he's right about which one she is. He killed her in the original ending never being sure... and no longer caring. "The universe is spiraling down the drain? Had to happen sometime." He says in TCOR.

The alternate ending felt like a bit of a cheat to me. But I'm glad I did it. It's been terrible fun to play with Jack. I think she's pretty different from most Jacks. The story is fraught with coincidences, and a few technical impossibilities, but it's just a story. If you're enjoying it then you're willing to overlook those silly bits and keep going, and I thank you for that!

I dont have a set ending for this one, just a few plot points I want to hit along the way. I keep in mind that movie 'Sliding Doors' with Gweneth Paltrow... one little chance encounter and whole lives can turn out differently, or maybe just end up in the same place anyway. -smile- Sada might not be lost to Zemma and Riddick, and to us.

My intention, meanwhile, is to make you hate Jack, then fall in love with her again. We'll see if I can accomplish this. -grin- But if you're hoping there will be a Riddick/Jack pairing, please forgive and enjoy the story anyway. It wont happen. Jack may have some encounters later, or perhaps flashbacks with Kyra, but in my mind, my universe, Riddick was never sexually attracted to her. Their relationship is much more complicated than that.

Sisters started out like DG, in Zemma's first person perspective, but I've been slowly trying my hand in other voices. Jack's is easy, I know her now, she isnt the most stable person ever concieved. Life will continue to be a struggle for her even as she travels beyond the stasis of her own self imposed stereotype. We will be spending more and more time in her head and in her past... until it catches up to her and becomes the Now.

Don is less easy, but not impossible. He's quite as emotionally controlled as Riddick, but also quite a bit older, with memories of a fairly normal life 'once upon a time.' I havent decided on his personal arc yet. At the moment he's an intriguing NPC. Maybe some day he'll be a real boy. -wink-

Now, Riddick's voice... Riddick's thought processes... they are coming along slowly. Backward Glance was meant to be a kind of trial run for writing in his voice. No one said it was terrible and out of character, so I'm feeling confident enough to do a little more of it. Remember, as you read inside his head, that he is very controlled, even with his thoughts. There will be no huge displays of feeling. He wont wax on about things beyond the moment, beyond the Now. There will be little clues of his deeper feelings, the ones he doesnt examine too closely, the ones that may float to the surface later. I've tried to be consistant, the build IS there, but I wont hit you over the head with it.

Same is true with the clues to Jack's identity. They are there already. Dont depend on Jack or Riddick to know the absolute truth till it smacks them in the face. -grin-

I have some new NPCs (that's non-player characters, for those of you who dont role play- it means characters that are just there to further the story or give it interesting background and whose arcs, lives or thoughts we wont dealve into) that will be making appearances, but at the moment I have no plans to take them further. The mystery of Deak's 'feeb' sister will remain just that.

Hypatia, however, has a key role in the future. Expect her royal coldness to become a thorn in someone's side. She isnt what you think, she isnt even what the characters think. It should be fun.

I've been dropping rhymes (a rhyme is a like a coincidence, a repeat of something the viewer/reader is intended to see but the characters dont) from my favorite science fiction author. This IS, after all, FAN fiction and I'm a fan of his. I dropped a major clue in the end of chapter 19. I might yet use his most famous (and already stolen) line, (stolen by Cameron in Dark Angel.) Disclaimer: I know I dont own it. Everyone knows who coined it. It's meant in homage, the greatest respect. That is, if I get brave enough to actually use it. -smile- I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader to figure out what author before I deliver THAT line.

Thank you, all, for your readership and feedback! I dont know how 'real' authors can write without getting a few woohoos every chapter! LOL Dont be afraid to say something disparaging. I wont break, I wont stop writing, and in fact I may get better because of something you point out. Your questions and wishes might inspire a new angle or story direction that I didnt think of. The things that catch your eye and make you wonder might make good twists. A really good comment might make it into the story. Again, it's homage I'm paying if you see something of yours being said by one of the characters. If it offends you, email me and I'll remove it.

I love a challenge. Keep challenging me!

~M

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8/04/04

I'm having a heck of a time with Riddick's voice. My husband is a smart too, so Riddick keeps ending up with his voice. Doesnt help that while Riddick is capable of conversation without threats, the movies have him under such constant stress that you dont see it much. Riddick is doing that stuff 'off stage' as it were, where Zemma doesnt see it much.

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7/26/04
Mandatory Mom lecture:

My daughter has kindly not 'outted' my age but I will tell you that I am 36 this year. My husband and I waited until I was over 18 to do more than look at each other across a crowded room and he was my first. He is still my one and only.

Why should you care? Because The Bath pt.2 does not happen drunk, it does not happen in the back of someone's car, it does not happen because you just want to get it over with or you just couldnt wait.

Having sex is a natural part of being an adult and you will do it for the rest of your life. Be selfish, wait for the right person, the right time and place. It's worth it.

And no, I was not some little book worm who dressed prim and proper. He was not just some geek who couldnt get any. I was a street kid and he was a too-young Hells Angel. But honor is something inside. He was a gentleman, he loved me and wanted to wait for me.

The difference between that and fantasy jack/riddick pairings? Many of you arent old enough to have experienced this but if you know someone at 12 years old and meet them later in life, in your head they are still 12 years old. A 30 year old waiting for a 12 year old is creepy. A 21 year old waiting for a 15 year old is a long and happy marraige. Sometimes life is hypocritical.

So my apologies to those of you who have written j/r pairings and I havent given you happy reviews. It's perfectly natural fantasy. Unless you're the 30-something. :D

-end of mom lecture-

Just as a point of refrence:

Enan W'Neta = ee-non wen-etta (Zemma's dad)
Jaron R'Ghnell = jare-on rej-nell (oldest of the Furian Commanders and generally nice guy)
Trygg Vaako = tree-g (think intrigue) cheap play on words, i know. (Lord Vaako)
Spyridon W’Rdah = spee-ree-don war-da (crabby Furian Commander)
J’Pheth = jeff-eth havent looked up a first name for him yet, if ever (bad guy with a machete in his face)

I havent looked for a name for Dame Vaako yet.
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Have I mentioned I work at the Boise Humane Society? (In the cattery of course LOL) Can we please just spay and neuter? Please?

Please?...I'm begging here.
--

Chapter 64 of Daddy's Girl begins part 5. I wrote it to stand alone (I hope it does) as a response to a fanfic challenge to 'take back the Jack' on another board. I liked it so much I wanted to include it as-is rather than rewriting it from Zemma's perspective. So dont expect a lot of future Jack POV in Daddy's Girl.

If you are completely unstrung by the first part, "some time ago" it's the retelling of the end of TCOR strictly from Kyra's POV. Including Zemma's part 'behind the scenes' interferance of giving Kyra the knife she attacks the Marshal with.

Now, I went back and rewatched TCOR after I had written the bits with Zemma's worry that she had killed Kyra, and saw that Kyra actually attacks the Marshal with the thingy the marshal pulls off the statue...so consider this part of the AU. I had forgotten, and now the knife is in the story.
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I have an ending for the story in mind. Unless things change between here and there I'm going to try again to wind down to it.

If you are a Jack fan you may end up hating me. At the moment I really like the idea of making Jack a bad guy.
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I hope the spankfic didnt throw you off too much. It was another challenge. I decided making a spankfic PWP was too easy, so wanted it to happen almost naturally.

Zemma and Riddick do have a complicated relationship, but ultimately Riddick is just a control freak and Zemma very easy going, as long as she's in the Now. She has 20 years of letting things roll off her back.

I consider D/s a topic too adult for this board. I am writing this story while keepingmy teenage daughter in mind. Please keep any reviews about this in email in the future.

POV is entirely in Zemma's head. "Narrative voice" is in actuality Zem's inner voice too, so not always accurate. I dont mean this to throw anyone off, but it's relative to her arc to make mistakes and assumptions, especially when she's emotional.

Everything we see must be seen through Zemma's eyes with 2 exceptions. She didnt see Riddick decide to sleep with her in The Bath, that was 2 sentences. And Jack's return, that was a challenge chapter.

I write in such a fast breezy style that you can bet if I've repeated it, it's for a reason. And if it's tripled then I'm making a point.

Riddick and God... yes, taken directly from PB and relative to his character, naturally we make use of it. Yes it's a war between him and God. And in this case I am god and I've already said I'm sadistic when it comes to torturing Zemma LOL

Riddick and trust? I dont tell every minute of time in my story, trusting you guys to make the leaps of logic...

We know Riddick called the 5 captains to talk with them before he summoned Zemma. He got some feel for them then. Later when Zemma snuck them into his suite via the air ducts, and they joined him on a massacre, he would have some sense of his ability to trust them.

He never wanted to actually run this ship, so Jaron stepping up would have been fine so long as nothing Jaron did messed with Riddick directly. "Do as I say and dont bother me with the details." kind of attitude. It's good to be king.

I hope that it's been clear that we see both Zemma and Riddick's arcs running parrallel. And while she doesnt see it, he does. His emotional challenges are actually being played out in front of him by Zemma as she struggles with hers. It lets him make slightly different decisions because he's seeing himself in her.

Finally, Riddick makes nearly instant decisions based on his superb ability to notice all the details and instictive deductive reasoning. He doesnt regret decisions made and just keeps moving forward in the Now.

I hope this clears up any confusion. Remember this is a first draft and I can go back later to fix up any major problems based on the reviews I get.
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Sorry chaps are coming so slowly right now. But they will keep coming.

Also, I'm going back and fixing little things in previous chapters. No stroy edit, just beta style things. Lord Marshall to Lord Marshal, Furian to Furyan. A few missed spelling mistakes and the like.