"The greatest ability of the fanfiction writer is to realise that they're writing shit. And it's all shit. Every fucking fanfic writer writes shit to some degree." From Lightning Hunter's tips for writing fanfiction.

Personal thoughts on fanfiction? It's an obsession that only the people involved can understand. Never try and explain it to strangers.

About me: Contrary to popular belief, I am female. I am also an absolute intolerant bitch when it comes to fanfiction, although I have been told by my nearest and dearest that I can be quite witty on occasion. I adore horror, mystery, suspense, comedy, parody, supernatural, actual character development, original plots, all round dickery and narwhals.

Because people are always asking me where I get the name for "What became of the Likely Lads", here is linkage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4SAY2NhE7Y

Fic news:

Right now I am currently rewriting 'What became of the Likely Lads"- A fic that I first posted up about three years ago which has been a further four years or so in the making. It's changed direction a little (a lot!), and has become much darker (very dark). All opinions, flames and criticisms are all welcomed with open arms. Chapters one to five are going to be rewritten. Why? Because A) They were done in a rush. B) They are not quite capturing the feel of the overall story or the view I want people to have on my characterization of Naruto himself.

Chapter 11 is finished! Things are all starting to come together now.

'Vertigo' is currently on hiatus until I get the Likely Lads finished. Sorry people, but I need to get it done first.

Also currently teasing out the plot for a story that will be entitled "Naruto Sensei!". I'll keep you posted on it.

From Golden Arms: It might be a bad lemon. (Not for the eyes of the underage but still lulzy)

If it takes more than three reasonably moderate paragraphs to describe and the lines looks like something right out of Bible Black, it might be a bad lemon.

If the words, "This is the best!" pop up, it might be a bad lemon.

If imagining any of the actions make you wince and cross your legs, it might be a bad lemon.

If the girls don't mind sharing and never had a discussion about it, it might be a bad lemon.

If there's excessive name-calling ("NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"), it might be a bad lemon.

If at the end of the scene you suddenly feel ashamed for ever shipping the pair, it might be a bad lemon.

If any of the positions involved make you think of Cosmopolitan, it might be a bad lemon.

If it's the characters' first time having sex and they start off with professional-grade oral, it might be a bad lemon.

If any character happens to love smegma, it might be a bad lemon.

If the words "smelling salts," "strawberry shortcake," or "glass bottom boat" are ever mentioned, not only it might be a bad lemon, it might be a sign that you're way out of your element here.

If anyone "never came so hard before" now, it might be a bad lemon.

If you ever start to imagine a diagram or flowchart of the action, it might be a bad lemon.

If you fall asleep while reading and your hands never once left the keyboard and/or mouse, it might be a bad lemon.

If the male's penis is half a meter anything, it might be a bad lemon.

If the female can safely accommodate said male with no trouble whatsoever, it might be a bad lemon.

If the thought of being turned on makes you physically ill, it might be a bad lemon.

If reporting the fic makes you smile, it might be a bad lemon.

If you find yourself blitzed out of your mind as a result of playing a lemon drinking game and you haven't made it to page two yet, it might be a bad lemon.

If you ever had to correct someone's knowledge of how intercourse works, it might be a bad lemon.

If she cries like a baby when you break her hymen, it might be a bad lemon.

If reading a lemon makes you think of a home entertainment system that you haven't put together yet, it might be a bad lemon.

If she admits she didn't know she was such a cockwhore before, it might be a bad lemon.

If her response to sex make you think she has been turned into a brain-eating zombie, it might be a bad lemon.

If the male is having sex with someone's dead mother, it might be a bad lemon.

If you think teachers should use the fic as a method of teaching abstinence, it might be a bad lemon.

If midway through the story, you have to check to see what universe the story is happening in, it might be a bad lemon.