Hi Im Cantfindmyipod,

I am now back for the school year! And I know havent posted anything in ages, but that is because I am attempting to write a novel and its not going very well... But I am back! And I am writing! Beware!

Follow me on tumblr! My URL: Cantfindmyipod. But heres the link: http:///

IMPORTANT NOTICE: I have decided to repost my first SYOT and continue my new SYOT on a tumblr called "SYOT." Here is the link, if you are interested: http:///

I LOVE RON WEASLEY

I LOVE DRACO MALFOY

I LOVE NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM

AND I LOVE YOU (yes, you with the computer)

My OTP is RONMIONE!!! RonxHermione forever!!!

If you like original stories, check ou my new fiction press acount. It has the same name as this one (Cantfindmyipod) but if you want the link, here it is: http://www.fictionpress.info/u/815698/Cantfindmyipod

Review, Review, Review! (gee, hope I dont sound rude)

Thanks,

Cantfindmyipod

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

The Review Revolution...

Even if the fic has 10,002,464 reviews already...
Even if the fic is older than time itself...
Even if it was abandoned a loooooooooooooooooooooong time ago...
Even if the author turned out to be a total psychopath...
Even if the OC is a Sue and the spelling would make a dictionary cry...

I will review every fic I read. What goes around comes around, and more people will review my own fics. I have joined Review Revolution.

Repost this to join!!!

( )
/This is Bob! copy and paste him so he
/ \ can take over Fanfiction!

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Some Neville Love

-Neville needs a Remembrall not because he has a poor memory, but merely because he accomplishes too much to remember.
-Neville Longbottom doesn't bow to hippogriffs. Hippogriffs bow to Neville Longbottom.
-Not to be outdone, after Mrs. Weasley took out Bellatrix, Neville brought her back to life and killed her again.
-Professor Quirrel didn't have to fake his stammer in Neville's presence.
-Neville became Head Boy AND Girl. No one dared comment.
-Neville Longbottom is what's beyond the veil.
-Before Neville punched it, it was known as Horizont Alley.
-Neville uses Nagini's blood as soy sauce.
-Muggles don't know about Lord Voldemort, but they do know about Neville Longbottom.
-Chuck Norris' boggart is Neville Longbottom.
-Neville's patronus is Neville, because nothing else is badass enough to represent him.
-Neville Longbottom is the reason that the Cauldron is Leaky.
-If someone replaced the Mirror of Erised with a picture of Neville Longbottom, no one would notice.
-Cho Chang wasn't crying because she missed Cedric. She was crying because she was with Harry, and not Neville.
-They said Dumbledore was the only man Voldemort was afraid of. They lied.
-They were going to release a Neville Longbottom edition of clue but the answer always turned out to be "Neville Longbottom, in the courtyard with a sword."
-Neville Longbottom created the Department of Mysteries when he got bored with making every damn discovery.
-Neville Longbottom cut off the Hog's Head. He was just practicing for Nagini.
-Voldemort did not choose Harry over Neville because he thought Neville to be weaker, but because it would be downgrading him. Neville doesn't like to be downgraded

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

1) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

2) Seamus Finnigan is not "after me lucky charms"

3) House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

4) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

5) My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf”

6) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

7) I will not go into the forbidden forest looking for Charlie the Unicorn

8) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

9) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket"

10) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them

11) - Especially not all of them at once

12) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

13) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

14) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

15) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

16) I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

17) Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.

18) Yes, the Great Hall is extremely large, but Quidditch is an outside sport.

19) The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

20) -Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge.

21) Professor Lupin does not know anyone by the name of Jacob Black.

22) –Even though he was friends with someone named Sirius Black.

23) I will not recite lines from Potter Puppet Pals, as it is awkward and rude.

24) –Especially not during meal times.

25) I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade.

26) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

27) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

28) –Or Wen Hair Care.

29) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape’s private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

30) "Oo ee, oo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang" is not an actual spell.

31) Gryffindor's sword is not to be used to patrol the hallways.

32) Shout "beam me up Scotty" before disapparating.

33) Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

34) Making a slinky go from the top of the astronomy tower to the ground level is not an appropriate pastime.

35) - especially while singing “everyone loves a slinky”.

36) - especially while singing “everyone loves a slinky” until the slinky hits the bottom.

37) - especially while singing “everyone loves a slinky” until the slinky hits the bottom and starting the whole process over again whenever the slinky gets stuck.

38) - apparently, not everyone loves a slinky.

39) I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

40) The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on the new moon.

41) No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

42) Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

43) First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

44) I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

45) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

46) A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.

47) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

48) The muggle television show “Futurama” is fictional and describing the events of each episode while looking at a crystal ball does not count as extra credit in Divination.

49) I will not run through the halls shouting “Snape kills Dumbledore!”

50) There is no such thing as “Wizard Swears” even if I have seen it on Potter Puppet Pals and I should not shout them in the Great Hall.

51) –Nor should I teach them to first years.

52) I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

53) I am not allowed out of my house dorm when anyone from the Ministry of Magic visits Hogwarts.

54) If Dumbledore wanted to tell me what Aberforth did to the goats, he would’ve told me already.

55) Centaurs do not give free rides to kids and I should stop telling the first years otherwise.

56) "42" is not the answer to every O.W.L or N.E.W.T exam paper.

57) Neither is "Yo Mamma".

58) Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.

59) Singing “The Mysterious Ticking Noise” in the library is rude and annoying.

60) –Especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me.

61) –Especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me and form a large circle around Professor Snape.

62)- Especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me and form a large circle around Professor Snape and refuse to let him out of the circle until he finds the pipe bomb.

63) The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".

64) Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research.

65) I will not shove professor Snape into a wall repeatedly while shouting “Bother” over and over again.

66) -Nor will I enchant the Whomping Willow to do so.

67) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

68) The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop insinuating that he is.

69) Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.

70) Hagrid is not to be referred to as “Gargamel” is not trying to capture the house elves for use in making a potion.

71) Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.

72) If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.

73) I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.

74) I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

75) -I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

76) -It was not an honest mistake.

77) Despite the name, using transcripts of MuggleCast is not useful for writing essays in Muggle Studies.

78) I will not shout “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” every time I pass Dumbledore in a corridor.

79) Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.

80) Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is inappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.

81) I am not the wicked witch of the west.

82) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

83) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

84) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

85) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

86) Asking Snape if his sister’s ok after that house fell on her is tasteless and will earn you a month of detention.

87) Shouting “Abracadabra” can be misheard and start a panic.

88) Professor Trelawney’s name is not “Madame Crack-Addict.”

89)-Neither is Professor Snape’s.

90) Dragons are not permitted inside the castle, even if you are having trouble starting a fire in the common room fireplace.

91) I will not discuss my theory that Voldemort and Michael Jackson went to the same plastic surgeon.

92) I will not loudly tell Hermione that “THE MARAUDER’S MAP ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE USED FOR STALKING LOCKHART!” in front of a large group of Slytherins.

93) –Even if she is stalking Lockhart.

94) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

95) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

96) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.

97) Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.

98) I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.

99) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

100) Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points

Hufflepuff, we will kill you with smiles and rainbows

You know you're obsessed with Harry Potter when:

You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.

You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin).

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.

The wand order mistake in GoF drove you crazy, and even after it was "corrected" you still came up with dozens of theories to explain why that happened.

You point at normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these Muggles dream up!"

You collect plugs.

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible.

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!

You watched "Love, Actually" because two minor Harry Potter actors were in it.

You were reduced to tears when you finally had Book 5 in your hands.

You refer to your Science class as Potions.

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders, hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.

You yell into the "fellytone."

You get emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".

You say "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).

You name all of your pets after HP characters.

You get into heated arguments over how much gel Tom Felton had in his hair in the first two movies.

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1979 and Ron's birthday is March 1, 1980 even though it was never said in the books.

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and no one has any idea who you're talking about.

You went out and bought the latest editition of the Webster's Dictionary because they added the word "Muggle" and "Rowling".

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!"

You count the days until you're old enough for your Apparation license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving.