Here are a few basic rules that should help you in life.

Well, maybe not help, but at least make it bearable.

Or not.

1. Be sure to make full use of the letter ‘U’ and not neglect it from any words that are used
2. Ignore American complaints of misspelling words when, clearly, they aren’t aware of the English way of doing things
3. Try to create well rounded characters and avoid superhuman and predictable ones. Give them flaws or make them mildly sociopathic in their own special ways
4. Give stories meaningful titles that are completely overlooked by readers
5. Similarly, ignore complaints from them that using ‘ is not correct when outlining spoken lines as they are used to the American method of using “ in books
6. Employ sarcasm to the fullest of your ability when creating dialogue, particularly if a character is mildly sociopathic and in an absurd or life threatening situation
7. Place obscure references to other franchises into a story, even something as small as a throwaway piece of dialogue, then silently fume as no-one notices it
8. Maintain an appropriate amount of disdain for stories that are not spell checked, despite most word processors having free ones built in, and cannot spell even the most basic of words
9. In relation to the above rule, spend time wondering how such a person could even pass English at school with such a poor grasp of the English language
10. Face palm as appropriate if the story is of such poor quality you wonder if the creator has even heard of something called a book, let alone read one
11. In general, ignore American complaints when it comes to grammar
12. Working in conjunction with M30 Industries affiliate GrungierNine0, come up with new and creative sayings that will assuredly grant you both a one way ticket to Hell
13. As with the above, when greeting M30 Industries affiliate GareBare65, both you and GrungierNine0 should refer to him as *pinch harmonic* face
14. Wherever possible, efforts to wind up GareBare65 should be made. Methods include deriding the Spas-12 shotgun as useless, refer to magazines as clips, and dismissing the dinosaur Easter Egg in Battlefield 4 as pointless. Such things will easily fluster and outrage his simplistic Utah mind
15. Watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and count off which characters you’ve either killed, or devise ways to kill them
16. C4 is a universal problem solver
17. Orphans are legitimate targets in war. Who’re they going to tell, their parents?
18. In relation to the above policy, see the above policy regarding affiliate GrungierNine0 and Hell
19. Devise long lists idiots like you will read through
20. There is no such thing as overkill at M30 Industries. There is only ‘I need more ammo’ and ‘My gun isn’t big enough’. Any contradictions to this will result in the immediate firing of the employee who dared speak out. Using the ‘You’re Fired’ machine gun
21. Yell ‘Son of a Bitch’ when killed during video games
22. Despise CoD
23. Despise Twilight
24. Praise Altman
25. Deadpool
26. When dealing with young children placed under your care, sarcasm and insults are acceptable methods of speaking with them
27. ERROR 505: POLICIY NOT FOUND
28. All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster
29. Would You Kindly keep reading?
30. Wear T-shirts with video game, television, or internet references on them
31. High five people that recognise them
32. Punch those that don’t
33. Applaud the people who’ve read this far down without losing interest
34. This is the best rule ever. Of all time
35. Break the fourth wall. Hi there!
36. Break the fourth wall again. Hi there again!
37. I have no idea
38. In relation to the above rule, yay!
39. Here comes Dr. Tran!
40. Be contemptuous of readers and followers that jump to conclusions about a story that’s only one chapter long and hasn’t been updated, and think of ways of being sarcastic about it in a list but come up with this instead
41. Wonder if they get it or if it passes them by
42. Don't panic
43. Get the names of long time fans wrong
44. Especially if they sound like something from Star Wars
45. And hail from Australia
46. Hail HYDRA!
47. Shark Week
48. Have cats
49. Realise this list is really long
50. Realise you don’t care
51. Yay
52. Dethklok, Dethklok!
53. Do you dig giant robots?
54. When life gives you lemons, GET MAD!
55. Hail Satan
56. There are no such things as boundaries. M30 Industries prides itself on breaking norms, and killing folk who don't usually die
57. Popularity does not grant a character any kind of invulnerability. Anyone can die, even Fluttershy and Sweetie Belle. In fact, the cuter and more innocent the character, the more likely they are to be killed
58. Coffee. That is all
59. Arriving in the knick of time makes you a Big Damn Hero
60. And always worry about thwarting the will of the man with the really big gun. He's looking to kill some folk
61. Sacrifices must be made on a regular basis to appease the Dark Lord Fluffy. Prime sources of virgins to offer the Dark Lord are comic conventions, gaming conventions, pony conventions, and crazy cat lady homes
62. Official consulting hours are between 8 and 5 every other Thursday
63. I'm the Hobo King
64. Bitches Love Cannons
65. Jesus wants a hug!
66. Fly Away Now! Fly Away!
67. Repent, motherfucker!
68. I'm a terrifying... terrorist
69. Ludicrous Speed, go!
70. In relation to the above rule, smoke if you got 'em
71. To summon trolls, blow into a tea pot
72. If morale drops, implement beatings until it improves again
73. When in doubt, rub one out