Should I start like David Copperfield? I was born...I grew up? Or should I spare you the details and keep it simple? Alright, just the nifty bits, then. I am a thirty year old Communications and Marketing specialist with a lust for the cleverly satirical.

My major in college was Voice with a focus in German opera. Ask me how many waitressing jobs that has landed me.

I have a bit of a fetish for the whole beauty and the beast thing. I try not to psychoanalyze it too much. Is it just me or is there something really incredibly hot about the hidden desires of the socially unwanted?

If cornered in an awkward conversation I will ask you if you want to buy a duck.

I am randomly random and will invent words for things.

I think that if vampires do in fact exist, they have been refusing to give me an interview simply out of spite. I moved to south Florida so that I could call people in Georgia and tell them that I'm skinny dipping in December. I believe Elvis is currently alive and well and working as a self impersonator in Las Vegas. No,not really, but why the hell not? I like ketchup on EVERYTHING. (Yes, I did have to look at the bottle to spell it.) I wanted to grow up to speak French and ride bare back through fields of Lavender while playing the Violin. So far I've accomplished none of the above.

I have been ghost writing and editing the content of college thesises [Thesii?] for years but I cannot spell. This is why I have a word processor.

I sing karaoke sober and enjoy dancing spastically by myself.

I always hope for the villain.

I think sarcasm should be a valid course of study in all major universities.

Stories

"Savoring the Last Shot"-Fem!Sheppard/ Garrus-Mass Effect 2-It has been an awkward mating dance for Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian, but with the IFF now firmly in place, and the Mass 4 Relay looming just over the horizon, respect and loyalty have manifested into an intense and primal need. (Rated M)

"Brink"- Lavellan/Solas-Dragon Age: Inquisition-The well of sorrows whispers to Lavellan granting secrets that always seem to lie just slightly out of reach. Only Solas can give her the answers that she seeks, and the only thing she wants more than answers is him. Rated M for future adult themes and eventual smut. Takes place after events of Inquisition. Spoilers. (Rated M)