"So, who are you?": Some fanfic writer. I'm not as fresh as my creation date makes me look. I've been in fandom for many years now, but I'd rather the world not see what a terrible writer I was in high school/middle school, so it is unlikely I'll be handing out the old links anytime soon. I am an American, and I use American English regardless of the fandom, though I try to use setting-appropriate slang. I am over the age of 17.

"What do you write?": Mostly slash, with some femslash, het, or even gen thrown in here and there when I'm in the mood. My major fandom is Harry Potter, but I intend to sneak a few others in when you aren't looking.

"When are you going to update {insert fic title here}?": I'm currently a university student, so updates will vary a bit depending on the classes I take in any given semester and the homework I am assigned on any given week. Sometimes if you ask me this question, I'll have some idea of the answer. Other times I won't have the foggiest idea. Unless, that is, the fic in question is marked 'Complete,' in which case it's a safe bet that it is never going to be updated.

"You should write a sequel to {insert fic title here}!": It's actually not very difficult to talk me into this, assuming I have nothing better to do with my life at the time.

"You should write {insert pairing here}!": No. I'm actually quite open-minded when it comes to pairings. There are very few pairings that I can out-right say that I won't write. That said, I really don't like being told what to write. Please, for the love of God, do not ever leave me a review telling me that I'm a great writer/the fic was fantastic/the ghost of Shakespeare envies me... except that I wrote a "wrong" pairing.

"I'll read/review your fic if you read/review mine!": Pass. Even though I'm sure I've missed out on some wonderful fics because of this rule, I do not "trade" fics. I've found that one or both parties seems to set unrealistic expectations for these situations, and it almost never ends well.

"Speaking of reviews...": I love con-crit. If you don't have anything to criticize, you can still get into my good books by telling me what I did well, but con-crit is preferred. I also appreciate "Good chapter!" and "Update soon!" reviews, though not as much, as those do not give way to much discussion, and one of my favorite things about fandom is the discussion it breeds. If you wish to flame me, please make it readable. If you wish snark me on badfic_quotes or weeping_cock... I'll see you there, and with luck I'll realize why I Failed so hard and not do it again.