lately I've been thinking, should I hang myself or should I stab myself with a knife, I mean I don't know which ones quicker and hurts less, when I hang myself the rope may not be strong and having a bruise around my neck will hurt. As for stabbing myself with a knife, well I don't want to make a mess, god forbid someone actually saves me, I might have to clean it up. so I ask myself how can do this with out making a mess and without being a TOTAL FUCKING screw up like I usually am. thinks well there is no way, so I guess ill stay here, with a asshole hypocritical dad, a swearing old 80 year old that threatens suicide whenever she doesn't get what she wants, my non existent mom that doesn't care, my stupid sickness and everybody that reads this ...oh wait I forgot that would be no one, boy do I love my life.