Hey! What the F*ck! Why am I stuck in this box! Get me out of here! Get me out of here!

Hi. I'm You're favorite 'Merc with the Mouth', the one and only Deadpool (Formally GuardianSparrow9). And if I haven't killed you or sent you into a realm of excruciating pain, the welcome to my profile page!

My Motto: Those is hear the cries of oppression, and take action, are true men behind the wire.

Date of Birth: Some month, Some day, on some year. Can't risk it. the Gov't watches it's employees.

Place of Birth: Chicago, IL

Sports: Football, Basketball, Soccer.

Status: Single and sexy.

Favorite Decks: Gladiator Beasts (Tigerless and Fun), , DominantChaos , Ninja Abuse Jutsu, PsychicMonarchs

Favorite College Team: NOTRE DAME FIGHTING IRISH, Auburn Tigers

Favorite Pro Teams: Da Chicago Bears, Da Chicago White Sox, Da Chicago Blackhawks, Da Chicago Bulls (D-Rose MVP!!!!!!), Da Chicago Fire

Favorite Foods: Gyros (pronounced like "euros"), Chicago Style Deep Dish Pizza, Vienna Beef Hotdogs, Brunswick Stew, Fried Chicken, Polish Sausage (Watch it...), Sushi, except urchin.

Favorite Music: AC/DC, Rush, Metallica, Guns 'n Roses, Black Sabbath, The Police, Motley Crue, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Poison, Def Leppard, Scorpions, The Ramones, The Who, The Beatles, The Clash, Genesis, Yes, Soundgarden, Audioslave, Creed, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, Rage Against the Machine, Michael Jackson, 5FDP, System of a Down, Wiz Khalifa, Eminem, Kid Cudi, Lil' Wayne, Flo Rida, Yelawolf.

Childhood Hero: Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger/Walter Payton/Michael Jordan/Ed Reed

Favorite Shows: The Office, Community, My Name is Earl, 30 Rock, Everybody Hates Chris, The old SNL, Big Bang Theory, iCarly, Drake and Josh, Victorious, Suite Life Z&C/OD, Seinfeld, The Middle, Malcolm in the Middle, Scrubs.

Favorite Cartoons: Futurama, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Edd Ed 'n Eddy, Boondocks, Regular Show, Adventure Time, Dexter's Lab, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Phineas and Ferb, Fairly Odd Parents, Danny Phantom, TUFF Puppy, Spongebob Squarepants, 2 Stupid Dogs/Super Secret Secret Squirrel, Batman: TAS, Spiderman: TAS, X-Men, X-Men Evolution, Wolverine and the X-Men.

Favorite Anime: Hellsing Ultimate, Yugioh GX, Yugioh, Yugioh 5D's, Fullmetal Alchemist, Bleach, Dragonball Z, Wolverine Anime (Hey Logan, why aren't I in your show? You owe me for how your move fucked up my reputation), X-Men Anime, Blade Anime, Black Lagoon, Gungrave, Trigun.

Favorite Heroes/Antiheroes: Deadpool, Punisher, Batman, Captain America, Iron Man, The Punisher, Spider-Man, Sherlock Holmes, Sam Fisher, Master Chief John 117, John "Soap" McTavish, Simon "Ghost" Riley, Rorschach, Edward Elric, Colonel Roy Mustang, Father Alexander Anderson, Alucard, Vash the Stampede, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Goku, Arsene Lupin III

Favorite Villain: Deathstroke, Joker, Green Goblin, Vladimir Makarov, Harvey Two-Face Dent, Professor James Moriarty, The Captain (Hellsing), Walter Dornez (Hellsing), Knives, Razlo the Tri-Punisher/Livio the Doublefang, Frieza, Black Swan, Bullseye, Red Skull, Magneto, Darkness, Zone, Marik/Melvin, Bakura, Nagato "Pain", Detective Zenigata,

Movie Quotes:

What's it like? Now how m'I supposed t'say to that? It was cool? There was bitches? Well okay, there was bitches, but a lot of them was covered in dem curtains and stuff they be wearin', but...I digress. It was WAR! It was war basically. War! Y'know what that's like? Mutha fuckers be shooting at you like kakakakakakaka. Bombs blowing up, you know and the shit scared me. Y'know it scared the shit out me. Matter of fact, I shit on myself over a dozen times...and ran outta toilet paper after the second time. So y'know what that meant right?... Had to use the thumb man, it was kinda nasty, but y'know. The good thing about it was they stopped bringing me out on patrol, 'cause my name became Stink Bomb. Y'know what I'm sayin'? They said, y'know I was givin' away our position, because of the shit smell. That was fine wit me, y'know I'm sayin'? They wanted to leave me back? Well I was like FUCK Y'ALL. Y'all go ahead on, 'cause I don't need y'all anyway. I'm rich bitch!...The Fuck Y'all lookin' at!?" Ed Wuncler III, Boondocks

"Crystal, Don't take this the wrong way but...I need you to get the Hell up outta here." "Any particular reason?"

"You're kind of a lazy ho?" Huey Freeman, Boondocks

"Guilty! That Nigger is Guilty!" "Sir, Calm down. You have to go deliberate..."

"I don't need to deliberate. Hang that Nigger now! I got the rope right here!" Uncle Ruckus (no relation), Boondocks

"Chris! Get in the bathroom and wipe the pee off the toilet seat!" Everybody hates Chris

Michael: Something's missing...the turtles...where are the turtles? where are the turtles?

Lawyer: Come on guys get out of here.

Michael: WHERE ARE THE TURTLES!! Where are they!? -Michael Scott, The Office

"You have to play to win, but you also have to win, to play." Michael Scott, The Office

"Have you ever been on TV before?" "Once when I took those hostages." "I saw that you were good. Let's hear your audition." "Bandito's eh? Aw this is great! 'Cause I happen to have a flawless Spanish accent. (Reading) I will say A dios padree. Come Jee-zus my faithful...chi-hooa...hooa. Tonight, we shall eat "jue-wock-a-mol" by El Rio!" "That was so terrible, I think it gave me cancer!" (Bender and Calculon, Futurama)

"If it's a lesson in sex, I'd better warn you. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it Kiff?"

"Uggh...Sexlexia." (Zapp Brannigan and Kiff, Futurama)

"Now listen here you drugged up communist, I paid for this body. And I'd no sooner return it than my cocker spaniel dog Checkers."

"*bark bark*"

"Shut up Dammit!" - Richard Nixon's Head Futurama

"A boats a boat, but the mystery box could be anything...It could even be a boat! You know how much we wanted one of those!" "Then let's j..." "We'll take the box!" (Peter and Lois, Family Guy)

"You know Rupert, the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary...what you don't believe me? look." Stewie tries to cover his laughter. "What? It's not...Oh Rupert, Touche! Hoisted by my own petard. Hahaha...Oh I am so alone." (Stewie, Family Guy)

"...One time my dad pooped in the neighbor's yard and then lied about it." (Chris, Family Guy)

"He's Quagmire, Quagmire! You never really know what he's gonna do next, he's Quagmire, Quagmire." "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity, Giggity, let's have sex!" (Quagmire song, Family Guy)

"Cut. Print. Gay." (Brian, Family Guy)

Favorite Sports Movies: Rudy, Friday Night Lights, Gridiron Gangs, The Longest Yard (both), Greatest Game Ever Played, Coach Carter, Varsity Blues.

Varsity Blues--

Tweeter: Good moonin' boys, good moonin'. (Tweeter moons Mox and Billy Bob) I've been up since the crack of dawn and I had to 'ass' you a question..." (Charlie Tweeter)

Mox: I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy. What has that gotten me. (He stares a pack of condoms) I'm 18 years old, it's not like I'm married to her. She invited me over. I'm just bein' nice. Right Kyle? (He looks at him, wearing a black suit and hat, with large glasses.) Kyle?

Kyle: I only answer to 1 name, I am the great and honorable, El Ali Acbarshabaz Dah.

Mox: That's a bunch of names.

Kyle: But there is only 1 god, praise be to Allah.

Favorite Other Movies: Monty Python and The Holy Grail, Terminator 2- Judgement Day, 300, Office Space, Animal House, Gladiator, 300, Dark Knight.

Bluto: Over? did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the...Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell No!

Otter:...Germans?

Boone: Forget it, he's rolling.

Bluto: And it ain't over now, 'cause when the going get's tough...(Trying to think of the last part of it.)...the Tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's GOOOOOO!! (he runs out dramatically and no one follows and he comes back into the room.) What the F#k happened to the Delta House I remember. Where's the spirit, where's the guts. This could be the best Night of your lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst."Oh, we're scared to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." (He says mocking them) WELL JUST KISS MY ASS FROM NOW ON! NOT ME! I'M NOT GONNA TAKE THIS! WORMER IS A DEAD MAN! MARMALARD...DEAD! NEDERMEYER!...

Otter: DEAD!...Bluto's right!...Psychotic...but absolutly right! We've gotta take these bastards. Now, we could fight them with conventional weapons. That could take years, cost millions of lives. No no, I think this calls for us to go all out. I think this situation absolutly requires an obscene and stupid jesture be done on someones part!

Bluto: We're just the guys to do it. (D-day and Boone get up from the couch)

Boone: Let's do it.

Bluto: LET'S DO IT!! (Everyone storms out of the room, and Stork waves a sword around.) (Animal House)

Comedian Quotes:

"Not only do I think marijuana should be legalized...I think it should be mandatory." - Bill Hicks

"Don't need dem vitamin's nigga, I need drink! Sugar, Water, Purple! That's the ingredients, sugar, water and of course purple." - Dave Chappelle

"It's hard to defend "I've got ho's in different area codes", it's hard to defend "Move Bitch, Get out da way". Well as you can see there's a bitch in his way...that he needs to move. Thus the term, move bitch get out da way! You need to open your eyes so you can get the bitches outta your way!" - Chris Rock

"If Billy Joel, Elton John and David Bowie got shot, they'd have Bruce Springsteen's house surrounded." - Chris Rock