nea and vex
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Joined 11-27-07, id: 1431682, Profile Updated: 08-28-11
Author has written 3 stories for Avengers.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile..
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile


If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 of people online don't know the difference between your and you're. If you're (HA) one of the 2 who twitches violently every time somebody uses the wrong form, put this in your profile (ARRRRGGGHHH *is strangling herself*)

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you read in bed until past 3 in the morning, put this on your profile!

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over a pillow, copy this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If your profile is ridiculously long, copy and paste this into your profile to make it even longer.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch and American Eagel said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.


Interesting and insane laws:

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine. (Hmm... I'm not that sure all of the suicide terrorists will be scared off by that.)

It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants. (What... the...)

It is illegal to allow a dog to be in a public place without its master on a leash.

It is illegal to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.

It is illegal to carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.

It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it.

It is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire.

It is illegal to purchase an alcoholic beverage after midnight on Sunday, yet one may do so on Monday.

It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.

It is illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

It is illegal to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.

The penalty for jumping off a building is death.


FEMALE COMEBACKS!!
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Hi, I think we've had a date once or twice?
Woman: Yeah, must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

Man: Will you go out with me Saturday?
Woman: No, I'm having a headache this weekend


Milk tastes good... NOT People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! (wooooo!)

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile

if you've ever walked into a wall b4 copy this into your profile

if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile

92 of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it was uncool to breathe. If you're part of the 8 that's laughing till ya' choke, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If Justin Beiber jumped off a cliff 99% of girls would go after him, copy and paste this to your profile if you would be the 1% with popcorn laughing your effin butt off!!

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

98 PERCENT OF THE TEENAGE POPULATION DRINKS OR HAS BEEN AROUND ALCOHOL.
PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU LIKE BAGELS

If you think about something random practically 24/7, copy and paste this into your profile!

98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique,so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you want to kill the person who said Avatar was a load of rubbish, copy and paste this into your profile!

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs copy this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good (like I said before NOT.) People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you think that green skin is awesome, copy this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, colpy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.


If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

Post this on your profile if you have ever had a major fan girl moment.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

Doing homework sucks. Copy and paste this into your profile if you agree.

If you'd truly enjoy seeing Justin Beiber backflip off a twenty story building, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think having a crush on a fictional character is okay, copy and paste this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your one of those people who can literally stay on the computer for hours on in if only you weren't forced to get off, then copy and paste this on your profile.


Dragon Ball Pact:

"This pact is meant to hold together the remaining fans of Dragon Ball/Z/GT. Whether you like the FUNimation dub or the Ocean dub, whether you like the manga or the anime, whether you say 'Saiyan' or 'Saiyajin', we must stand strong and united, for we are the last of our dying race! And all those who are true fans, post this up on your page, forever proclaiming your Dragon Ball heritage.

Do

Right

And

Kill

Everything :)


When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate

When life gives you lemons, throw them at mean people and hope it get in their eyes.

When you hear the judge say all rise say no what ever you have to say, say while i'm sitting down.

When your on top of the world why aren't you dead your supposed to be frozen in a block off ice.


What do you do if somebody keeps talking to you and won't stop

A. Blast their head off

B. Walk away

C. Tell them to stop

Your right IT's A!


If you don't fit the description of the non-existent word of 'normal', then put this into your profile right now!!

If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile!

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy and paste this

If you ever read Text talk, and had no clue what they were trying to say, copy and paste this.


If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.


If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, Kikyouhater118, Runelesca, Kouga'sChils, Justified Assassin, Sacra Nox, Kira Nova, Poetic love, Kurina the Imiko, DBZTomboy

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever completely forgotten what you were doing, put this in your profile.

If you have actually read all these 'if you's, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile

If you've actually tried to count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, copy and paste this into your profile.

I'm that girl

The one that likes books more than boys.

The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy

The one who always wonders what she did wrong

The one who writes to escape

The one who just wants to help

The one that really wants to make a difference

The one that sticks to her values

The one that refuses to believe that this is it

The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow

The one who won't give in

The one won't give up

-by linguisticsrock, Copy and Paste if you can relate to this.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talkingto a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.

I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. (Only I've never been asked out. I'm the one doing the asking...)

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, andaddyournameto the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, FairyNinjaPrincess, MyImmortal01, Twilightxfanatic21, Twilightloverforeverandever, HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, all-hail-the-jello, Karren1109, maddythetwilightfreak, Starrynytex, MelissaRM, vampygirl999, nanigirl15, Furorensu-Chan, ILuv Zero and Pocky yum, nats10art, DarkAkatsukiNeko, Kurina the Imiko, DBZTomboy


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".


13 things PMS Stands for:

13. Pass My Shotgun
12. Psychotic Mood Swing
11. Perpetual Munching Spree
10. Puffy Mid-Section
9. People Make me Sick
8. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
6. Pimples May Surface
5. Pass My Sweats
4. Pissy Mood Syndrome
3. Poor Men Suck
2. Pack My Stuff
1. Potential Murder Suspect


OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to
administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is superseded by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember


98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that CAN resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If, with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever sat on your computer, reading someone else's “copy and paste this on your profile” stuff, copy and past this on your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.


: Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don’t cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you Love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are Down.

3. If you’re initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to Blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

Fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

The memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

Changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

Soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time

But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

Anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday.


FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumbass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!


When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans? Aren't all beans vegetables?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

Assasination is just an extreame form of censorship.

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them

He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullsh*t

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

Darth Vader-Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Luke Skywalker-Nah, the rebels have cake.

Darth Vader-ooh! Can I be a rebel?!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
Suicide is Human's way of saying "You can't fire me- I quit!"

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." –Bill Watterson

"He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron."

"I'm the kind of person your parents warned you about."

Please Note:
CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED
Apparently, you told Santa that you have been good this year.
He died laughing.

Andy: Oh, come on, Arthur.
Arthur: I don't want to hear it, Andy.
Andy: Jesus Christ.
Arthur: He doesn't want to hear it either.
-The Book Thief

-After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone." -

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork"

It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

Haha. I don't get it

So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.

If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them

Set sail in a... genaral... that way direction

Poke me. I dare you.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Docters say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons make apple juice and then laugh when people try to figure out what the hell you did.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some priminal areas.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid i'd take over.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

Whenever you feel pissed off at someone walk a mile in there shoes, that way your a mile from them and you have their shoes. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Did you know Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity.

Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?

364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?

Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.

How are the force and duct tape the same?- They both have light and dark sides and hold the universe together.

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Lesser of Two Evils by Chivalrous Gypsy reviews
After his fate is decided, the God of Mischief is sent back to Earth as a mortal and his powers will only be returned if he can find someone to love him and he love her in return truly. But time is short. He is being hunted. And love is never easy to find
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 46,621 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 5/26/2012 - Loki, Black Widow/Natasha R.
Son of Loki by Alexisagirl reviews
Loki is being imprisoned for his crimes. However he is not sorry and has plans to escape involving a son whose existence he had kept a secret till now. What happens when his son, who is like him in every way, meets the Avengers? Chaos is about to begin.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 25 - Words: 105,662 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 2/6/2013 - Published: 5/13/2012 - Loki - Complete
Let's Pick on Loki by SidneyStrange reviews
AU-ish Crack-fic. Loki is part of the team and Tony decides to air some of his dirty laundry after reading up on Norse mythology. No slash
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 880 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 17 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Loki - Complete
The trickster cannot lie anymore by BlueBoxInLondon reviews
Thor arrives with Loki in Asgard and he gets punished for his actions on Midgard./ Movieverse, No slash / ""Herewith I, Odin Allfather, inflict you the penalty of silence." Loki looked up..."
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,083 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 19 - Published: 5/27/2012 - Loki, Thor - Complete
You are Cordially Invited by Schyzotypal X reviews
To the wedding of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. AKA Loki tries to make himself scarce and ends up making a child cry instead. Hazing!Verse 5
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,461 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 16 - Published: 5/25/2012 - Loki, Thor - Complete
Ticklish by Fagocytosis reviews
Tony discovers a little secret about the God of Mischief.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,022 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/24/2012 - Loki, Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
Underneath It All by LxIsxJustice reviews
"He closed his eyes, relishing in the frustration as they couldn't find a way to break him. And they never would. That was the beauty of it all...He was already broken." Songfic to "Underneath" by Adam Lambert.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,550 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/23/2012 - Loki - Complete
It's A Full House by dearMINA reviews
Moving to Konoha, Yuuki immediately has to attend a private school. Problem? She's the only female, and her mom signed her up as a...guy! "Stupid, rude dude, stay-away-from-society red-headed, jerk-face psycho-job thingy!" / / GaaraxOC :IS UNDER EDITING!:
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 46,923 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Gaara
SecretKeeper by to-love-is-to-lie reviews
I'm Sorano. I'm also Socially Invisible. In the last 3 years the longest conversation I've had was over borrowing a pen. Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru and Sakura. they all had secrets... And the one girl who didn't want to know, found out. GaaraXoc AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 49 - Words: 82,288 - Reviews: 962 - Favs: 547 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 3/26/2008 - Published: 8/25/2007 - Gaara - Complete
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Avengers Reassemble reviews
This takes place after the avengers movie. After saving the world, the avengers find themselves spread out and desolate. However, after stumbling across an odd pair of twins S.H.I.E.L.D finds themselves facing a secret society creating super-soldiers with deadly side effects. Can the avengers face this threat alone? SteveRogers/CaptainAmericaXOC Bruce Banner/HulkXOC
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,210 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 7/13/2012 - Published: 6/3/2012 - Captain America/Steve R., Hulk/Bruce B.
Falling reviews
fluffy angst ficlett Bruce B./Clint B.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 229 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Hawkeye/Clint B., Hulk/Bruce B.
Confession reviews
fluffy ficlitt Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete