http:///

http:///

age: 19

well i havent been on here in a while but i think ill soon be updating stories more often considering i finally have internet at my house =3=

http:/// this is old cant even log into it anymore xD

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to
kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?

Doesnt "expecting the unexpected" make the
unexpected expected?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space over the limit?

Isn't it ineteresting how the word 'politics' is made up of

the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be
if it didnt zigzag?

After eating do amphibians need to wait an hour
before getting OUT of the water?

If olive oil comes from olives where does baby
oil come from?

Why is it that when transporting stuff on a car
its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a
ship its called CARgo?

If two wrongs dont make a right then how come two
negatives make a positive?

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then procede to tell you exactly why it isn't.

He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

If everyone jumped off a bridge would you? No I would step onto a pile of bodies.

No you don't get it you think you get it which is different than actually getting it get it?

There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.

My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me, he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.

They say the truth sets you free, then how come everytime I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!

That is the wrongest wrong that ever wronged.

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

I used up all of my sick days...so I'm calling in dead.

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it." -unknown

"People say life screws you over, well you wanna know what I think? I think we should get a grip on life, bend it over and say: now it's your turn bitch!" -LOL I

have no idea who made this...but I love it!

"Learn from the mistakes of others, you can't live long enough to make them all yourself" -unknown (but so damn true)

"Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh" -Unknown

"Earth is the insane Asylum of the Universe

-Unknown

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon..." - Unknown

"Know your limits, not so that you can honor them, but so that you can smash them to pieces and reach for magnificence." - Cherie Carter-Scott

"We will either find a way or make one." - Hannibal

"Don't do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts." - Henry Rollins

"We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved." - Unknown

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world."

"We are angels born with only one wing. To truly fly, we must embrace each other."

"Nothing is more dangerous than extreme ignorance and pure stupidity." - Martin Luther King Jr.

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy

"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it." - Maya Angelou

"Everything has a price. It's just what your willing to pay for it." - Anne Bishop

" Shining brightly for, even for a split second, is better than living a dull-grey life for eternity." - Unknown

" In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost

" Please don't worry Mister, I have only came here to obliterate you- not rob you." - Excel (Excel Saga)

" If nothing lasts forever; can I be your nothing?" - Unknown

"It’s funny though. I never learned his name. I never wanted to, afraid that he would change the way he was if I did. So he let me call him Hero-kun." - (Hinata to Sasuke) Love Story by mugiwarawarrior

"You can say anything about me, as you please, but I am what I am and that is something you can never be." - Unknown

Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

-Robert Frost

Chris- "Hey, birthday boy! You want some ice cream?"

Stewie- "Yes, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find...I shall kill you."

-Family Guy; conversation between Chris and Stewie on Stewie's first B-day party.

Peter Griffin- "I'm not drunk, I'm just exhausted from a night of drinking."

-Family Guy; Peter Griffin

Peter- "Brian, look, theres a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'ooooooo'."

Brian- "Peter, those are Cheerios."

-Family Guy; conversation between Brian and Peter.

"Flatter me and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you."

-Unknown

"War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Bliss."

-1984, George Orwell

If at first you don’t succeed...Cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

You are a loser. You will always be a loser because thats what a loser is... a loser. There is nothing else a loser can be but a loser. The fact that you are a loser has already been decided...and when something has been decided it can not be changed because it is decided! It has been decided by none other than me!...Neji-ji-ji-from a random clip

You're jealous cause the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

No tresspasing, violaters will be shot and survivors will be shot again.

i am worse than evil I am the author

I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.

If you join the dark side there is a good chance you will not die in my hands (the cookies are pretty good too)

How Troublesome

Sorry about being late...I got lost on the path of life.

People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.

I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

I would just like a really really strong spork if thats not too much to ask...

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

Forgive your enemies, but never, never forget their names.

I've got pieces of guys like you in my stool.

Crap. Crap I say.

DON'T make me go all NINJA on you.

Jesus Loves You. Satan Thinks You're a wuss.

Take one step closer and I'll run away.

DON'T HARSH MY MELLOW.

My therepist says I'm in denial... as if that could ever happen

My day isn't done until I've horrified a complete stranger

Deadlines Amuse Me.

Well, on the planet I come from...

Switch to decaf? NO WAY!

You know the whole government corruption thing? It's my fault.

If you ever laughed at somebody falling copy and paste this.

If you love Hinata, copy and paste.