-Confession-

A little self-dialogue can drive a man crazy

A few simple dreams can make reality hazy

My delusions of you seem effervescent and real

But this isn't a poem to say how I feel...

"It's very hard, these days," she says, parting lips.

I shrug and look away. "So?" She shakes her head.

"Oh, come off it. You do care. More about her than me."

"So what does that make you?" I respond derisively.

A tear falls, and she says quietly, "An outlet..."

When I say nothing, she kisses me, and the process starts over again.

A Basic Introduction...

Profile (Note, this does not contain any information that would make me directly accessible):

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Nickname: Josh

Location: Sunnyvale, CA

Occupation: High School Student/Fry Cook at In-n-Out

Marital Status: Involved

Interests: Japanese Culture (in general), Animation, Cars, Architecture, Martial Arts (in general), Sword Arts

Favorite Quote: "In war there are no such things as cheap shots..."

Theme Song: GET IT BY YOUR HANDS - By: Hiroshi Watanabe A.K.A. QuaDra

I. Why did you decide to come to ? "My main reason for writing fanfiction is to develop my creativity, while attaining mechanical writing ability along the way. It's true, I need much more discipline in my use of the English language, however it's my view that knowing how to write if worthless if you have nothing to write about. Better an error-ridden piece of crap than nothing at all.

II. Why did you pick a name like "Rubedo the Crystal Blood"? "I have a passion for gaming and thinking. The term "Rubedo" does not come from the videogame 'Xenosaga', though I do know of the series, but instead was derived directly from Alchemy. Its meaning in latin in redness, and it is the name designated to the red philosopher's stone, said to give infinite life and turn metals into gold. The call sign 'Crystal Blood' has meaning. It was a popular nickname for in a game known as Soldier Front, or in Korea where it originated 'Special Force', and came around before the well known PC FPS (Personal Computer based First Person Shooter) Half-Life: Counterstrike. In this game Soldier Front, based in game portal, an extension of the Korean 'hangame', also a game portal, I was aptly named "the Crystal Blood", for my merciless and stalwart approach, yet overall grace and efficiency in combat."

Please, feel free to ask any questions regarding my person that have not already been answered here. The only question I've received from readers is the reason behind my name XD, so please help me expand my profile page. Thank you very much!

Updated -11/30/07 at 4:43 PM GMT+8-

Life Update...

7/20/08

Wow, I haven't touched this thing in ages. Well, to all my readers on "Melancholy", sorry, but it's on unannounced hiatus. Anyway, I've gotten started on some other works you might enjoy, so for those still faithful to me, enjoy the goodies. You'll also be interested to know that I'll be getting a new computer in the near future. Yeah, the old one got busted, so all my files on "Melancholy" were lost.

11/30/07

My first "Life Update..." post. Well, now you know. Anyhow, I'm in the Philippines, so sorry if I update very slowly guys. Please bear with me till I get home :D I love you all and thank you for being so dedicated! Oh, and if the last one-hundred midnight phone calls didn't convince you, I love you babe! You know who you are! -wink-

12/4/07

The second post. I might be extending my stay, so expect more delays. It seems I'm having multiple inspirations, as along with the DN fic I've been dreaming up, I had a stroke of inspiration for Naruto as well. Problem is, I know almost nothing of Naruto other than the episodes I watched on youtube for Shippuden. Time to waste more of my life I suppose. Anyway, the most you'll ever see on here are four updates. The rest will be removed, so my profile won't become freakishly huge.

Updated -7/20/08 at 1:55 PM GMT+8-

Project Melancholy...

Project Melancholy is to be my first publication on . Launched in September 9th of 2007, the Melancholy Project is a reworking of a current fanfiction influence, Cal Reflector, who wrote the original piece of the prologue for the first episode "Summer Memory". Original titled "Melancholy", Summer Memory then became "Summer Childhood" at the expansion of the series scope, and then "Summer Memory" after a reworking of the title. The episodes are also themed off of the seasons, and the duration of the story lasts just over a year.

Project Melancholy is expected to be five episodes long, varying from 20 to 40 segments in each. It plays like a script, running scene by scene and titled with relatively unrelated but ambient titles. Each episode then plays like a segment of a feature-length film, stemming perhaps to about two or three hours were it played in full. After the completion of "Summer Memory" in October 10th of 2007, the sequel "Autumn Daydream" began its almost six-segment smash just three days later on October 23rd. Like the first, "Autumn Daydream" plays in a scene-by-scene format, and the two-to-three minute reading time between each makes it a good lunchbreak relaxer.

But perhaps more notable on the Melancholy Project is the humorously elaborate disclaimer, which arrived late into the series and leaves many holes despite the attempted effort. It was intended to make up for its tardiness, and thus serves as a continual comic relief. It receives updates based on the whim of the writer, and continues to serve its purpose.

Much to the dismay of its current readers, though, the Melancholy Project went on a hiatus, and remains so. It will, eventually, be continued and completed, though the date by which this promise is to be fulfilled is uncertain.

-Complete- Episode One - Melancholy: Summer Memory

-In Progress- Episode Two - Melancholy: Autumn Daydream

-Coming Soon- Episode Three - Melancholy: Winter Sonata

-Coming Soon- Episode Four - Melancholy: Spring Waltz

-Coming Soon- Episode Five - Melancholy: Summer Reminisce

Updated -7/20/08 at 1:59 PM GMT+8-

COMING SOON!!

Project Ruminate:

Just a year after the final disappearance of Krad and Dark, the two famous angels who carried fate upon their shoulders, the unrecognized Niwa family has settled down into a pattern of normalcy. Daisuke Niwa, now seventeen, is planning on studying abroad with his girlfriend and arranged fiancee Riku Harada. Meanwhile, Riku's sister Risa has vanished mysteriously, living a nomadic life with her lover, Satoshi Hikari, who now devotes his time to more properly studying the ancient Hikari work, sealing away any remaining Hikary magic, and guarding the Black Wings. However, on the isolated island, an unexpected disaster renders the security system helpless, and amidst the tumultuous chaos, Black Wings is freed once again. The souls of Dark and Krad clash together, able to battle now that they have been divided once again. Will Satoshi be able to bond with Dark, and can Daisuke tame the unruly Krad?

Project Remember:

Set several years after Shippuden, Naruto and Sakura now avoid involvement with the political bickering of the ninja world, indulging themselves on mountain training and friendly sparring matches. However, all this time alone together has intensified the feelings Naruto has for Sakura, to the point where he is no longer willing to face rejection. When Naruto asks Sakura to question his resolve for her, deep inside she begins to wonder if he really deserves the treatment she'd been giving to him. In all of the pandemonium, Naruto discovers something new in his life. Wounded and hurt, he distances himself from Sakura who, suddenly in love, desperately strives to win his heart once again. How far will she go for love, and how strongly will Hinata resist these guilt-motivated advances?

Updated -12/4/07 at 4:30 PM GMT+8-

Stories worth a second glance...

Sakura Chan's Genjutsu Blossoms: By Ibiki Teishi ~ Rating: 9.3/10

Hoowee, this one was a doozy. It's not finished yet, and is disappointingly short, but I gotta say it's a real read. I read this three times over just to suck in all of the material. The detail in certain parts may be overwhelming to those particular males, but once you get over that it's a very worthwhile story. Its main attraction would be the fact that Ibiki decides to deviate from the original plot and give Sakura hidden genjutsu abilities, which put an interesting twist in her relationship with Naruto The author also makes particularly good use of her inner-persona, which was sadly not used through most of the series. You'll find it under Romance T with the defined characters.

No More Stolen Kisses: By Lucindra ~ Rating: 8.9/10

Oh, yeah, this is a hot one, and Lucindra never even goes past the scent. Now, I'm not entirely sure if this is set before or after the timeskip, but Lelouche is undoubtedly bold in this one, since he never really tries to have any illicit relationships with anyone. Anyone want to try guessing C.C's real name? Anyway, you've got to love how soft lil' Lelouche takes control of the situation. He even goes so far as to suggest that he's been aware of how C.C has been manipulating him every night. It's a oneshot, which leaves me wanting more, but that's how oneshots should be left: one shot. I often come back to this one, and it's a lot better than a lot of the fics I read. It's down under Mature Romance with the defined characters.

What is Love: By Fester ~ Rating: 8/10

I haven't even finished this thing yet, but phew! Goodness gracious me this one is a bodyful. Forget the mouth, this thing won't even fit in a bear. I'm a big fan of Naruto and Hinata pairings, after all, however, or I wouldn't bother with it. Length aside, this is a rather colorful portrayal of a budding romance between Naruto and Hinata. It's an AU of the events introducing Shippuden, but it's overall accuracy to personality is rather good, which is always what I find myself looking for. I do miss Sakura, however it's the tone of this fiction that catches my attention. It's a little repetitive in vocabulary and you'll find a lot of errors here or there, but just check under Romance M with the defined characters. It's been backlogged a bit, but you'll find it.

-Please note that you'll never find any drabbles here. Some stories I read may not even make it to my favorites list, as much as I like them. Oh, and I do make the names of the authors proper, so don't expect the authors' names to be precise in the slightest.-

Updated -7/20/08 at 2:37 PM GMT+8-