(New information at the end)

Well, it's time I revampted this.

I'm a rather cynical person. Though I try to make myself look more positive when on the internet, I admit I've become somewhat mad regarding literature I find here.

I'm not sure why, but it seems that I've become personally offended by poor use of literature. It's odd, I understand, and I'm not sure why I do this, but it happens, much to my discontent.

But-- on a more personal note--

Pen Name: Leo Tetsuni
Real Name: Leonardo J. Sparrows
Age: 22
Birthday: March 26th
Occupation: Law Student
Hobbies: Writing, drawing, critisizing, and being an obnoxious prick.

Personal Favorates and Reccomendations--

Zero Punctuation- a series of hilarious video game reviews by Ben 'Yhatzee' Croshaw.

Chzo Mythos- A series of post-retro adventure games with Jason Vorhees like murderers, the Occult, and some seriously phycological game over screens in the third game. (In order: 5 Days a Stranger, 7 Days a Skeptic, Trilby's Notes, and 6 Days a Sacrifice)... and the main character wears a Trilby hat. Insta-win.

Bioshock- A spiritual successor to System Shock 2. With atmospheres derived out of Fallout, and some seriously fucked up enemies. Bioshock is one of the most fun shooters I've played (Of course it is, they just combined two of my favorate games!) and I definately reccomend it to anyone, even if you dislike FPS games. Though I ask you play System Shock 2 if anything, considering it's much better, but much harder. (But you can't win every fight.)... huh, I actually feel better after writing this.

Top Games-- in no order

1. System Shock 2
2. Fallout
3. Silent Hill
4 Half-Life
5. Chzo Mythos (Damn you, Cabadath... I want to live!!)
6. Dues Ex
7. Starcraft
8. Bioshock (play System Shock 2 more though)
9. Soul Calibur
10. Daggerfall
11. Monkey Island
12. Portal
13. Counter-Strike
14. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (...Long live Revan.)
15. uh... um... I'll think of something

On the 28th of July, I made a Chzo Mythos prank. I graffitied the entire block with the phrases 'FATHER, WHY?', 'IT HURTS', 'THE GUIDE', 'NOT MAN', etc. as well as rudimentary drawings of Cabadath, Chzo's eye, the DeFoe welding mask, and a trilby hat all looking like they were drawn in blood.

... the cops were called. I dressed in a trilby hat, a black blazer, and grey pants that day. My cousin dressed in a black trenchcoat/bathrobe thing and a blank white mask. It was fun.

A fun little note: never buy Two Worlds. I cannot stress this enough, unless you're really (and I mean REALLY) a glutton for punishment, you stay the hell away from this game. It's like the ET or the Superman 64 of the seventh console generation, and it hurts to know I spent money on it (Seven dollars, but my point still stands). Should you ever come across this abomination, do the world a favor, slam it on the owner's desk and demand its immidiate destruction. (You could be a mass murderer and pediphile, but do this and you'll have a place in Heaven.) It is abominatable, humiliating, atrocious, dispicable, degrading (to all of humanity) and deserves my utter content. If you're part of the sick cult of mental masochists that try to say this game's good (like those guys who voted for Sanjaya on American Idol) I will publicly challenge you to a debate over this and stamp on your head as the finishing blow, Zero Punctuation style.

How to earn reviews on fanfiction.net.

This is a list of things I've found out for aspiring fanfiction writers to earn reviews.

1) Never put the title of what you're making fanfiction of in the title. Whenever I see "Soul Calibur: Random shit" or "Fallout: Lulz Self Insert" you can pretty much bet that people will jump to the conclusion that you're thirteen and trying this out in your spare time. ...this might be true, but you never want people to know this.

2) False identities. (Pay no attention to this if you're over 17) A little something I've learned (from personal expreince roughly ten years ago) is that no one ever wants to read something from a 'little kid'. The older you are, the better. I used the alias 'Jack V. Masons' when I was younger, a 19 year old student in Southern California. Before you post anything on the internet, think up every fucking detail about yourself, less you screw up and tell the same person conflicting information. If you so happen to be older than most of the other people on the site, people have a tendancy to respect you more. (Which is the position I'm trying to believe I have now)

3) Editing. EDIT YOUR ASS OFF. I cannot stress this enough, find someone you trust, even if its your own mother, and have them beta read your story. It's good to have someone nice do this, so you get some self confidence to hold out against flamers and critisism, and so that you look professional.

4) Never make yourself look self-important. I've seen stories brushed off(good stories, too) without a second chance because in the description it says something like 'Some things may conflict with canon, but what do I care, it's fanfiction'. Until you have a loyal fanbase and have established yourself as a respectable author, do not dare challenge canon.

5) Good reviews are gold. Many people will skip straight to the 'reviews' page, so having someone reliable give you a perfect review is a GREAT sign. I'm not very active here anymore, so I really wouldn't know, but Highwayman Myth in the Soul Calibur section and Almostinsane in the Fable section are pretty reliable for this, or hell, even go to me (just drop me an email) if you can find no one else.

6) Originality. I cannot stress this enough. People do not want to see Halo: Mastur Ch33f returnz 4 Hal04. Here's what I did, for my Fable story atleast, I decided which fandom to make a story out of, checked out the discriptions of Fable stories, found that most of them featured the corrupt hero, and made mine good. And I scored... (10 now?) reviews for a one-shot when most multichapter stuff goes with perhaps two or three.

So, following those steps (except number 2 if you're above it) you too can forge your own fanfiction story while probably earning my ire for not writing it about System Shock! Besides, whatever it is, it needs more SHODAN.