Poll: Would you want to read minds or see the future Vote Now!
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Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, and Maximum Ride. About Me Name: SamSam Nickname: JJ, SamSam, Sami, Blondie, Sam Age: 17 Hair color: Brown Eye color: brown School: I am a Senior in high school. I am in Stell drum, and Marching band. I love Anime and Books. I have major attitude but i am still kindof nice. Fav parings; Gaara Sakura (naruto) Edward Bella (twilight) Alice Jasper (Twilight) LOVE THEM. THEY COMPLETE EACH OTHER Shikamaru Temari (naruto) Neji TenTen (naruto) Naruto Hinata (naruto) Athrun Cagalli (Gundam Seed/Destiny) (they are the cutest couple) Kira Lacus (Gundam Seed/Destiny) FAXNESS!! WOOOO (Maximum Ride) Chad Taylor (HSM) Faye Spike (CB) Six Holiday (Generator Rex) Kevin Gwen (Ben 10) Roy Riza (Full Metal Alchemist) Gabriel Vivian (Blood and Chocolate) Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? Why doctors call what they do "practice"? Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing fluid is made with real lemons? Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food? Who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavor? Why they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box? Why sheep don't shrink when it rains? Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe? AND... In case you need further proof that the human ace is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual instructions on consumer goods. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions Friend: Will help me learn to drive Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Best Friend: Won't let me go away Friend: Will help me up when I fall down Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me Friend: Will bail me out of jail Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up" Friend: Will go to a concert with me Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad" Friend: Asks me for my number Best friend: Asks me for her number Friend: Hides me from the cops Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too. Friends: Fade Best Friends: Are 4 Ever A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run -beep- run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowd’s ass that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries A good friend would tell you you're a bad singer before you enter a singing contest. A bestfriend would get up on the stage, and sing with you, then tease you about it later. A good friend would leave you alone if you said you didn't like the guy. A bestfriend would annoy the heck out of you until you admitted it. If you think George W. Bush is a complete idiot, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you/your parents did not vote for Bush, copy and paste this onto your profile. IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. If you're a fast runner...copy and paste this onto your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. " 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together |
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