Mossmask: I've decided to only make this a threeshot. The last chapter probably won't be as long as this one.

The Rest is Silence
Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction
by The Cinderninja

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He learned quickly. Within a matter of weeks, he could hold entire conversations and it was only a month before he could reason with people on the same level he had before. But he still wasn't Edward. It was months before any of his memories had started to come back. Even then, they were vague at best. They boy, his brother. Alphonse. He started to remember more about him. But somehow, they were things he felt he'd already known, deep down.

There was also a woman. He couldn't name her, but he sometimes saw her face. He knew there was some sort of tragedy about her because remembering her always brought sadness. Other faces started to come to him over time. Faces, with feelings. He would suddenly picture someone he couldn't remember meeting, and it would make him sad, or angry, or annoyed. He would decide he hated that face, yet respected this one. Some faces gave him so many mixed feelings at once he didn't no what to do with them. But there were some faces that just made him unbearably sad. The man, the woman, and the little girl above all else. He still didn't remember any names though, besides the ones he had been told after waking up.

Ed was the first name. Ed was his name. It was the name Al had given him. (Apparently, it was the name his mother had given him, but he didn't remember her. He just remembered waking up with Al and being given the name). Then of course, there was Al. The second name he had learned. He knew Al meant Alphonse, but either name worked. That wasn't something he had been told, he had just known. It was one of those things you didn't need to be told for it to make sense. It was like knowing how to walk or knowing how to breath.

Then he had met Russell, and after that, Fletcher. Then he'd met a whole bunch of new people and learned plenty of names that he decided weren't important. He remembered every one of them, he just didn't think they mattered very much. He had a list of the most important names. The first was his, and then Al. After that came Winry, the girl that he and Al lived with now. She stared at him a lot and always seemed sad. Either sad or angry. Both moods bothered Ed and so it only made sense that he would avoid her. But he didn't. For some reason he liked her, and her face was one that made him happy. So even when she stared at him with her sad eyes, he would grin back and tell her to lighten up – she looked better when she smiled. She hit him when he told her that, but then she smiled, so it was worth it.

After her came Wrath. Wrath also lived with him, and Al, and Winry. He'd often try to leave, but Ed wouldn't let him. Because Ed liked having Wrath around. Wrath was like Winry – he was always sad or angry. When he was left alone, he would cry, but when you tried to talk to him, he would yell. It was odd. Ed once asked if he was ever happy, to which Wrath replied with a scowl and said "my name is Wrath."

Ed rolled his eyes because a name is just a name. His name was Ed but that didn't mean he had to act or feel a certain way. What did an 'Ed' even act like, anyway? And if his name meant he had to be in a bad mood all the time, why didn't he just change it? Wrath kicked him with his automail at that point and Ed ran away because it hurt.

The thing about Wrath was, he knew things about Ed that no one else did. He could explain things to Ed. He said that Ed was a homunculus. He knew because Wrath was one too. That meant they had to have some sense of camaraderie or something, right? Well, that was Ed's opinion anyway. Wrath didn't seem to agree. Wrath told him there used to be other homunculi too. Like Greed, and Lust, and Envy. Ed asked why they all had such weird names and Wrath scowled again. "How should I know? I'm not the one who named them!"

"Al named me." Ed explained with a grin. "You should ask him to name you too. His names are much less weird. And maybe then you wouldn't need to be so angry all the time."

Wrath had kicked him again after that.

Wrath also told him that eventually his memories would make more sense. He'd get a bunch more of them back as time went on. Ed asked if Wrath knew because that had happened to him. It hadn't. Apparently it happened to the other homunculi, but never to Wrath. Wrath had never had any old memories to get back. He didn't explain what he meant by that.

Time wore on and Ed realized just what Wrath was talking about. Within a few years, he could put names to most of the faces. He could remember how he had met almost all of them and how he had known most of them. As more memories came back, the more they started to bother him. Not because he didn't want them. But because he didn't know how he could have forgotten.

He remembered alchemy, of course. Even if he didn't, he was still quick as ever and learned it on his own fast enough. Problem was, it didn't work. Not for him. It worked for Al just fine, but no matter what he tried, he couldn't activate an array. It had frustrated him at first, but then he'd taken it as a challenge. Until Wrath had told him it was another homunculus thing. Homunculi couldn't do alchemy. That irritated Ed but he sighed, and supposed he could find something new to spend his time on.

One day he had stumbled out of his bed and climbed into Al's, waking his brother up. He'd grabbed him and started crying before Al even had a chance to properly sit up. Al had asked what was wrong and Ed just kept apologizing. Because "You're my little brother and how could I have forgotten that?"

And he didn't know what was wrong with him. But after that he was on guard. After that he was constantly trying to remember because if he had forgotten that, who knew what else he had forgotten? Like his mother, for example. Trisha Elric. He knew her name, and he knew she was dead, and he knew that thinking about her made him sad. But he couldn't remember what had happened. And he was afraid of when he would, because he knew as soon as it came back to him, he would feel that same awfulness for having forgotten.

Al also had trouble remembering things. Apparently he had lost four years of his memories. Ed didn't know if, once he caught up to where Al's memories left off, he would continue to remember new things, or if his would stop as well.

Within three years Al was almost as old as Ed. It didn't make sense. Because Ed wasn't stupid and he knew that people grew up together. You couldn't catch up to someone. They were one age, and you were another age, and that was that. But somehow, Al was catching up. And Winry was getting older than him. And Wrath had left a long time ago, but they still saw him sometimes. Ed had thought that maybe it was a homunculus thing, but even Wrath was getting older. Wrath had taken just a little time to tell Ed not to worry about it because that was just another homunculus thing too. Wrath was just different and even he didn't know why he was growing up when the other homunculi didn't. But there wasn't anyone left now to explain it to either of them.

Ed didn't want to be so different from everyone else, and he didn't want it to be constantly written off as a "homunculus thing", especially when he didn't even know what that meant or what a homunculus was.

On their fourth year living with Winry, Pinako died. She had been the fifth most important name on Ed's list, and he was extremely upset when she died. He had only just started to really, properly remember her. He spent a lot of time outside after that, with Al. It was for the best anyway because Winry just wanted to be left alone. They travelled for a while after that. Just Ed and Al. Winry had her automail, and no one knew where Wrath had gone to.

Apparently Ed had a lot of money. He used to work for the military, so he'd been told. Apparently he'd been discharged some time after he first "woke up" and was walking around talking like a toddler. But the money he'd made during that time was still there, and apparently he had a lot saved up. Not nearly as much as he'd had when he'd actively worked there, but more then enough for him and Al to travel.

He and Al were in their room in an inn when it happened. It was a fairly cheap place, because they were in an out in the middle of nowhere town. They thought that maybe travelling around to places they'd been could help both of them with their memories. Maybe seeing familiar places and people would spark some sort of recollection. They were staying in an old mining town and they'd gotten a warm enough welcome when they arrived, even after explaining that neither of them could remember anyone here. Al had gone downstairs and left Ed in the room to get dressed. When Ed still wasn't downstairs twenty minutes later, Al had gotten worried and gone back up to check on him.

He'd found Ed hunched over with his back in a corner and his head between his knees. He was shaking and pale and Al had panicked. His first reaction was to grab Ed to see if he was okay, but Ed had flinched away, as if burned. He looked up and his eyes were distant. He wasn't properly focused on Al, but instead was almost looking through him. Al put his hands on Ed's shoulders and spoke to him softly until he calmed down.

Eventually Ed met Al's eyes, and he looked so relieved. "Al..." he breathed. "You're okay..."

Al didn't know why he wouldn't be okay. But Ed was crying now – and Ed didn't cry, not unless he'd been caught off guard by a particularly strong memory – and he grabbed Al and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Al, Al." He kept repeating. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It was- it was all my fault."

"Ed?" Al tried to look at his brother, but it was hard with the crushing hug and all. "Ed, what are you talking about?"

"You really don't remember, do you? Any of it?" Ed sighed, finally letting Al out of the hug but still holding his hands tightly, as if he was afraid Al might disappear if he let go.

Al looked at him cautiously. "Any of what? The four years after the transmutation?" He really hoped that was what Ed was talking about. Because those were the only memories he was aware he was missing.

Ed nodded.

"So you mean... you do remember?" Al asked carefully.

Ed shook his head. "No... not all of it. But." He stopped talking again and shook his head. He couldn't meet Al's eyes. "But... I remember enough. I know what we did – what I did. What happened after that..."

"Can you tell me?" Al had been told. They both had. They'd been told plenty of times, by plenty of people. Neither of them could quite believe the story when they heard it. But if Ed remembered, then Al wanted to hear it from him. Because Ed was his brother, and that would make it real. If Ed remembered, and Ed could tell him, then Al could start to believe it.

And Ed bowed his head and stared at the floor before giving a resigned sigh. "Yeah. I just remember... that night. But I guess I can tell you."

And the story was not one Al had heard before. Because while others might have known, none of them had known. No one else had been there. Only Ed was there when it happened, and now that was the Ed who was talking. And that made Al happy. Because even thought the story was not a pleasant one, Ed finally had a memory that no one else shared. He had a story that belonged to him and him alone, and that made it real. That made him real.

Ed's memories got worse after that for a while. He continued to remember those four years while Al never recalled a thing from them. For the most part, Ed could brush the memories off, even the hard ones. Because as bad as they were, he and Al had been together for years now, and they had plenty of good memories to cover over the bad ones. Anything that had happened in the past was far behind them now. But sometimes they were really bad. Like Nina. Ed was a wreck for a while after remembering Nina, because he felt that guilt all over again, and the pain felt just as fresh. Because he didn't have any new memories of Nina. He couldn't, not when she had died so young. She had died so young, and it was all because Ed hadn't been able to protect her, hadn't been able to help her. But he'd healed the first time, and in time, he managed to get over it again.

Sometimes it wasn't the problem of emotional pain, but physical pain. Sometimes memories would come back to Ed that would actually hurt, especially the memories of the automail. On nights when it was particularly stormy, he would get phantom aches in his limbs, as if the automail was still there.

The real trouble came when Ed remembered the homunculi. Al had woken up in the middle of the night to the sounds of Ed being sick. He'd climbed out of bed worriedly and gone to check on his brother. Ed was on his hands and knees in the bathroom throwing up into the toilet bowl, and when he'd finished, he leaned his back on the bathtub and rested his chin on the cold porcelain. He shut his eyes and didn't move. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking from the expression on his face.

After standing in the doorway for a few long minutes and not being noticed, he spoke nervously. "Ed...?"

At hearing his brother's voice, Ed had jumped as if electrocuted and his eyes had shot open. He stared at Al looking terrified before backpedalling until he had literally backed himself into a corner. Al took a step toward him but Ed held out both hands and yelled "Stop!"

Al stopped.

"Ed?" He repeated, frightened. "Ed, what's wrong? What did you remember this time?" Al hated that his brother remembered things that he didn't. He wasn't jealous. After all this time, he was okay not remembering those missing years. As long as he still had Ed, and Winry when they went to go visit her (she was doing much better these days), then he was happy. But he hated how Ed felt like he had to go through this alone. He had memories that Al didn't, and most of them were awful memories. Painful memories. And Al couldn't help him through them nearly as much as he wished he could. He knew if they shared the memories, then they could share the pain. But it just didn't work out like that.

"I..." Ed wouldn't take his eyes off of Al. He looked like a caged animal. The fear in his eyes was primal.

Al crouched down so he was on Ed's level, but still didn't come any closer. Not after Ed's initial reaction. But he did reach out a hand that Ed flinched away from. "Come on, Ed. Come out and talk to me."

Ed just clenched his jaw and shook his head. "Please, Al. Just give me a minute. Please." The look in his eyes was desperate, so Al gave a sad nod and stood up.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid, Brother." He warned.

It took far too long for Ed to tersely say "...Okay."

It was nearly an hour before Ed came crawling back out of the bathroom, almost literally. Al was lying on his bed and reading a book. He glanced up when he felt Ed approach and asked "are you okay now?"

Ed briefly considered lying before shaking his head. Then he layed on his back on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Al asked from his own bed, dog-earing his book page and setting it to the side, turning over to face Ed.

Ed remained silent and stared at the ceiling.

Al waited.

"Al, do you know anything about homunculi?"

Al shook his head. "Only what you and Wrath have told me."

"Oh." Ed fell silent again. "Well, I remember, now."

Al brightened. "Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?"

Ed just shook his head. "Nah, I wouldn't say so." He sighed, before rubbing his eyes with his palms and sitting up to face Al properly, resigning himself to explaining this. He might as well get this over with now. He knew by now that whatever he said, Al wouldn't reject him. But that didn't stop him from believing he should.

"After our transmutation, well. We made something, but it wasn't mom. It was a homunculus. And the other ones Wrath talked about, they were all made the same way. Human transmutation."

Al frowned, brain already working to puzzle out the meaning behind his brother's words. "But that doesn't make sense. You weren't made-"

"Shh." Ed shushed him. "That's how homunculi are created, and that's all there is too it. They're just the results of human transmutation."

"But who would transmute-" Ed shushed him again.

"They're not- we're, not," he corrected himself, "human. That's why I can't transmute. Only humans have a gate inside them. Homunculi are just fake people."

Al scowled at that assertion and opened his mouth to protest, but Ed continued before he had the chance. "I can't get hurt, not really, but we already knew that." With Ed as accident – and conflict – prone as he was, it was inevitable that the boys realized that little quirk rather quickly. "I don't think I can properly die either." He added on, looking distant. He was met with silence. It wasn't an awkward, frightened, or disgusted silence. Al was just thinking this over.

"Oh, yeah," he added quickly, lying back down and pulling his sheets up. "Homunculi don't have souls, either." He reached over and pulled the lamp cord, throwing the room into darkness and closing his eyes.

"Brother!"Al cried, shocked by his brother's final statement and actions.

This time, it was Al who was met with silence.