The awkward moment when you want to give up, because you know it's all pointless, but can't because you don't want to see him get snatched away by some other girl.

It's sad because even if I am the representative of the United Kingdom, even if I scored the highest on the IS aptitude test, even if I carry such a heavy burden on my shoulders with help from no one, I am still the same as some speck of dirt.

Does it hurt? Yes.

Do I want him to love me? Yes.

Do I want to stop wasting my time, and his, by chasing after him? Yes.

Will it ever happen? No.

But, you know, it does not matter, I will make my feelings as insignificant as my father, but as long as you are happy, I can bare it. Just this once, my heart will learn to bare to be second best. Not even.

So when I see you talking to Houki, or seeing you laughing with Charlotte, or perhaps you may be running around with Laura, I will wear my fakest smile, and repeat my daily routine of chasing you to the ends of the Earth.

But, please remember, I truly am sorry for loving you, Ichika-san. My heart is nothing but an arrogant burden.

And when you wave to me and give me a smile I know is not really there, I will return that smile, and approach you and your group. Even if the others detest me, all I need is to be able to see your smiling face.

But, alas, I do know that I will need to give up sometime, because you'll eventually begin dating one of the girls, and I'll be left in the dirt. Perhaps return to England, and begin anew, or perhaps the government will try and take my fortune again, or perhaps I'll be forced to marry. Maybe I'll visit my parents grave, maybe I can talk to mother, and tell her how much I miss her. Maybe, I can ask father about what he is doing. It does not matter.

When that time comes, I promise to be out of your hair, and I promise, unless you wish to, I will never speak a word to you again. But for now, please, Ichika-san, please accept my burden for just a little longer.

Just, just, for now just, please don't leave my arrogant burden alone, because my heart will break.

I love you, Ichika-san.