Absolution

She never intended to give birth to a bastard child, but she did. At least now she wouldn't be alone. Hinata-centric.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.

Prologue: A Shameful Choice

I should have died.

Death would be better than this!

Hinata bowed her head under the cumulative weight of the Hyuuga clan. Tension strung thick and strong in the large, white hall, and only years of decorum training kept Hinata from trembling or crying.

Too much, anyway.

Hiashi Hyuuga's stare on the crown of her head was the worst, though Hanabi's blank one was a close second. Most of the clan were here today, both ninja and civilan, and it pained Hinata to know that she was the shameful cause. She fisted her jacket and swallowed her tears.

Hiashi's stare seemed to burn a little more before it travelled downwards, scrutinising his eldest child. She was a failure from the start. Too gentle, too weak to grow into her future role as the Head of her clan. And now she might not even have to.

"We will vote," he said finally, cutting through the silence like a knife. Everyone stilled. "The council has met, and they have decided on two options: to abort the child, or to disown my daughter Hinata."

Hinata squeezed her eyes shut and prayed she wouldn't cry. The slight swell of her belly stuck out between her clasped hands, concealed by her jacket, but clear as day to the clan's Byakugan eyes. It was a miracle no one noticed for so long. For the umpteenth time, she cursed that fateful mission that had landed her in this mess.

But still, the child was innocent. She couldn't bear to think about ending a life just five months in utero – especially when it was her own (if unwanted) child. She remembered the haunted look of mothers who lost their children; the hungry look of those who could not conceive; and she hesitated to rid her body of the proof of her failure, although it dishonoured her.

Her future, or the child's? She couldn't do it.

"Disown me," she said, in a voice barely above a whisper. It was loud enough. Murmurs travelled through the crowd at the sudden bravery of the weakling heiress. Hiashi's brow furrowed, just a little.

"You cannot vote in this matter, Hinata," he chided. For a moment, she detected a hint of her father underneath the façade of the Head of the Hyuuga clan. He still wanted to save her. Hinata's heart warmed at the thought. Tears pricked her eyes, but she held them back, quaking.

"I'm not. T-the clan doesn't h-have to vote. I'll l-leave." Then, before she could lose her resolve, she looked up to face the entire clan, and bowed deeply.

"From this day onwards, I am no longer a Hyuuga." A painful pause, as she digested the finality of her words. Don't stutter, she willed herself. Don't cry. "I will move out, and I will not take anything from the clan except my personal belongings."

Deep breath. Stay bowed.

"Thank you for taking care of me."

With that, Hinata bowed again, then turned away from the clan of all-seeing eyes and left the hall.

Rough ideas jostled about in her mind as she scrambled for a plan. She wanted to leave as soon as possible, now that she had renounced her family name and her title as heiress. She couldn't bear to see them.

Pack. She had to pack, but before that, she had to write her resignation letter and hand it to the Hokage. Hinata fumbled around her desk for some pen and paper numbly. Dear Hokage, she started, then dropped the pen. Sobs wracked her body.

Was it the right choice? She rubbed her stomach with a heavy heart. It rumbled, reminding her of her skipped meals, though she'd lost her appetite the moment the council called for an emergency meeting over her condition. Well, it was too late now.

She wrote the letter quickly, then delivered it to the Hokage's office with a shunshin and a brief explanation. Tsunade-sama offered to help her. Hinata allowed herself a spark of hope before she squashed it. She'd been brought up on clan politics: she knew the Hyuuga would not accept Tsunade's order peacefully. So she declined.

She shunshined straight back to her room, unwilling to go past the Hyuuga guards with their empty stares. It looked just as she had left it: neat and organised, except for her desk. She drank in the sights. Come tonight, this room would be hers no more.

She'd have to travel light. Some clothes, then, for all types of weather, and the basic ninja necessities, and her small savings – nothing more. She allowed herself to cry as she packed, uncaring about those peeping through her walls. She wouldn't see them often after tonight, anyway.

It was evening by the time she was done. Hinata sighed. This was it, then. She bade a silent farewell to her room, and with it the Hyuuga clan, and turned to leave-

-only to run into Hanabi right outside her door. Hinata gave an undignified 'eep' before she gathered herself and bowed to her younger sister. "Hanabi-cha...sama," she murmured, unaccustomed to the new suffix. Hanabi stared at her.

"You're leaving." Her voice, so young, so flat. It broke Hinata's heart.

"Yes." Hinata looked down, anywhere but at her sister. Hanabi, the talented new heiress of the Hyuuga clan; Hanabi, the little girl who laughed with her for a little while before she grew up into a Hyuuga. Oh, how she'd miss her!

She hated the silence that Hanabi liked. Hanabi must have sensed it, though, for she thrust a bulging waterproof pack at her older sister.

"Food and money," she explained. Hinata, trained in the art of body reading, saw the uncharacteristic shyness that was cracking Hanabi's stoicism, and she smiled.

"Thank you, Hanabi-sama. Be a good girl a-and an even greater c-clan head, o-okay?" I'll miss you. Take care. Thoughts flowed through her head, unsaid.

"I will." Hanabi stepped aside to allow Hinata passage. Hinata walked past her, wanting to make her goodbye with her clan as fast as possible before she broke down. She thought she also heard Hanabi say "Goodbye, onee-sama", but even if she didn't, Hinata would pretend that she did.

It was her last memory of her family, after all.

Tsunade-sama must have informed the ninja on gate duty, for they waved her by without unnecessary questioning. Hinata nodded her thanks; she didn't think she'd survive explaining her departure, not so soon.

She didn't have to leave Konoha, per se. She could have stayed in the village and continued being a ninja, as a non-Hyuuga, but it hurt too much to stay in the same place as her former clan. She'd rather leave.

Leave, she thought with wonder. My eyes! She fingered her eyes, and then her forehead. Joy bubbled up, threatening to make her cry again.

Thank you, otou-san. Byakugan. The world sharpened around her in vivid detail, courtesy of her unsealed bloodline. One less thing to hide, one more piece of freedom gained. In the end, Hiashi had loved his eldest daughter enough to bestow upon her the unsealed gift of the Hyuuga bloodline. Hinata almost couldn't believe it.

She deactivated her Byakugan and started her trek down the path, away from Konoha, away from her life, feeling much happier.

The path was crowded despite the lateness of the day. She passed genin squads on C-class missions, merchants, travelers, and the occasional ninja flitting across trees, but aside from a small hi and a nod, she had no other interaction. It was overall not a bad day to be travelling, if a little warm. Her clothes were damp with sweat.

Her back also ached from the extra weight in her stomach, and she constantly kneaded them to relieve the tension, with limited results. Since it had yet to become bad enough to hinder her journey, she continued walking. Several jounin of genin squads gave her a critical once-over, deemed her harmless and in no danger, and went on their way, shushing their genin. Hinata blushed when she overheard their conversations.

"Don't ask questions, keep walking."

"But she's so young…."

"Hush now, she might hear you."

Hinata shook her jacket so that it hung further away from her front, ashamed. The slightest suggestion of a curve met her gaze. Fourteen and pregnant, it mocked her. It didn't matter that she was lucky enough to be carrying further back that she hardly showed at five months. It made people talk. She hated that.

She contemplated taking to the trees, where she would be less obvious, then decided against it. The gates of Konoha closed at sunset for everyone except ninja, so she could expect to see less people soon. At least, she hoped so.

Night came sooner than expected, with no village in sight. Disheartened, energy exhausted, Hinata slipped off the path to walk under the cover of darkness while she decided on what to do. It would have been an easy decision if she were with her genin team when they'd just take shifts guarding each other like – a family. Her breath hitched.

They didn't even know she was gone yet. She couldn't tell them, so she chose the coward's way out and let them find out by themselves. Guilt snapped at her heels, but she buried it deep. Shino, Kiba, Kurenai-sensei…they'd understand. Maybe.

For now, she was alone.

The enormity of today's events crashed down on her. She dropped to her knees, heaving with quiet sobs that were drowned by the trees. Her friends , her whole life, gone just like that, because she didn't have it in her to kill a single life.

One life for another. It felt terribly unfair, but that was the truth, and she knew it.

She cried for what seemed like hours before her self-control reasserted itself. New, sharp pains made themselves known in her back and in the soles of her feet. She whimpered and massaged them until they felt better, then climbed up a tall tree to sleep in for the night. It didn't feel safe enough without her teammates to guard her, but her perch did afford her a view of the forest floor below and a good bit of the traveller's path yonder. It would have to do.

Nocturnal creatures hummed in the background. Bits of moonlight filtered through the tree leaves that roofed her that night, as though prodding for her existence. She looked up at it, reflecting on her day as she rubbed her belly. It grumbled.

"Ow!" she exclaimed in surprise. She winced when it came again, quick and insistent. She pressed her hand against her stomach, waiting, waiting-ow, that hurt. She caressed her stomach in wonder.

There was a life in there.

She was going to have a child. It was overwhelming. The baby kicked her again, as if it heard her thoughts.

"I know you're in there," she murmured, stroking her belly. It was so lively for the first time. Was it normal? She didn't know anything about pregnancy, and it scared her.

"Hi there," she tried again. "I'm your mummy –" oh, wow "– so uh…nice meeting you."

Feeling stupid, she leaned back against the tree trunk and stared at the sky.

"W-well I guess it's a nice meeting, t-though today's a bit of a mess and I d-don't really know what to do but," she paused her rambling, breathless, "I'll be taking c-care of you, I think."

The baby didn't reply.

She sighed and curled up to sleep. I didn't even know I was pregnant, was her final, miserable thought before sleep dragged her under.

-Prologue: End.

Yes, Hinata found out the same time everyone else did. More on that later.

I haven't been on Fanfiction for a while, so I thought I'd try my hand at writing again. If it receives good feedback I'll continue updating every fortnight.

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