[Breathing:  Part II, Chapter IV]

~*~

The room was small, cramped, and cluttered, more a closet with a desk than an office.  Even so, Ms. Harris sat as straight and proud in her chair as if receiving foreign dignitaries, hands folded on her papered desk, chin raised slightly into the air.  Ryuuen thought she looked fairly-young, probably in her late twenties, and he couldn't help but smile at her cropped blonde hair, make-up-less features, and navy suit.  While clearly custom-tailored for her slimmer, shorter frame, it was an unmistakably-male suit, set off by a red striped tie.

"Hi," she said as they entered.  She didn't rise from her chair, but there was a warmth to her voice that put Ryuuen immediately at ease.  "Have a seat, Mr. Chou.  Mr. Seishuku."  One blond eyebrow lifted.  "Oh, and while we're on the subject of names, which of your last names is your child going to be taking?"

They had both been walking towards the room's chairs, shoes crunching on the stiff, stained carpeting, but stopped at that.

"Ahhhhh..."  Ryuuen glanced helplessly at Sai, mouth working without sound.

"Well," Sai said, looking regal in his red sweater and khakis, "we haven't discussed it yet, but I did have a thought."  He glanced back at Ryuuen, a seeking-permission sort of smile on his face.  "What about 'Seishuku-Chou?'  Of course, if you'd rather it was Chou-Seishuku--"

"No," Ryuuen said quickly.  He smiled.  "No.  I like Seishuku-Chou."

"Seishuku-Chou.  Good choice."  Ms. Harris grinned at them, grabbing a piece of paper from somewhere on her desk, a pen from somewhere else, and then jotting something down.  Her gaze flickered back to them.  "You can sit down.  I'd think you'd want to, Mr. Chou.  You're looking a little pale."

Belatedly realizing that he was still standing, Ryuuen gave a nervous little laugh and lowered himself into the chair beside Sai.  As Ms. Harris scribbled, he smoothed at the fabric of his black dress pants, then brushed some dust from the stretchy purple material of his shirt.  He was just reaching down to adjust his cuffs when something warm gripped his hand and held it still.  Glancing to the right, he found Sai staring down at him with a comforting kind of love in his eyes; the man's larger fingers were warm and strong against his own.

"Okay," Ms. Harris said slowly, dragging her eyes back up from the desktop.  "This is usually the part where I leave you alone to fret out your last worries, and I go down the hall and get the child.  But before I do that, I want you to understand something.  Just because you've met Hiroki and talked with him, that does not mean that you should feel obligated to adopt him.  It's always hard for a child to deal with not being adopted, but it's worse when a couple adopts him out of pity.  If you're not absolutely certain that you want to adopt him, don't do it.  It'll be much less painful for him in the end, believe me."

Ryuuen felt a new wave of nausea tumble through his stomach.  Hiroki.  That's his name.   That's...  That's our little boy's name.

Sai's grip on his fingers tightened, just enough to be reassuring, and Ryuuen squeezed back gently.

"So, are you ready to meet him?"  Ms. Harris was studying them with large blue-grey eyes, the hint of a smile pulling at her unpainted lips.  "That's generally the way things are done, but then I suppose we could always make an exception.  I mean, if you'd rather adopt him without meeting him first, we could arrange something."  Her voice was solemn.  "Perhaps a question and answer game, like on one of those blind date shows.  You know.  He stands on that side of the door and you stand on this side, and you ask him if he likes long walks on the beach and Kool-Aid, and if he answers correctly, you take him home.  And if not, we send him back to a foster family with a lovely parting gift."

Ryuuen stared at her for a long moment, blinking, and then he glanced at Sai--

Sai was sitting straight-backed in his chair, regarding Ms. Harris with an utterly-serious expression, lips pursed as if in deep thought.

Maybe it was the nerves.  Or maybe it was Ms. Harris' thinly-veiled sarcasm, or Sai's solemn expression, or...  Whatever it was, Ryuuen couldn't hold it in anymore.  Bringing his free hand to his forehead, he burst out laughing, shoulders shaking and head bent towards the ground.  By the time he was finished, Sai was laughing too, and Ms. Harris was grinning at him triumphantly.  And, it was strange, but as he took a few deep breaths to steady himself, he found that the churning in his stomach was gone, and his muscles were calm and relaxed. 

"So!" Ms. Harris said cheerily.  "Ready now?"

He nodded, exchanging smiling glances with Sai, and the woman rose from her chair and circled the desk.  After smoothing her tie, she gave them a wide smile, said, "Be right back," and marched out through the door.  Her shoes were loafers, black and leathery, and Ryuuen could hear them squeaking the whole way down the hallway.

Swallowing hard, he turned to glance at Sai.  "What if he doesn't like us?" he asked in a hushed voice.  "O-Or what if he's homophobic or something?"

Sai raised an eyebrow.  "Sweetheart, he's four years old.  Typically it takes longer than that for someone to become truly homophobic." 

"But what if he--"  Before he could progress any further into the latest worry, however, Sai leaned in and silenced him with a kiss, rubbing his thumb gently against Ryuuen's cheek as he did so. 

"Ryuuen.  Sweetheart."  Sai drew back from him so the tips of their noses touched, then took both of the smaller man's hands in his own and squeezed them.  "Suzaku wants us to have this child.  We have to trust him."

The eighteen-year-old sighed.  "I know.  But . . . "  He shook his head.  "But so much could go wrong."

Sai's eyes were wide and serious, flickers of sunlight from the window glittering in them like tiny bursts of flame.  "It won't," he said firmly.  "I promise you."

Ryuuen opened his mouth to reply, but stopped when he realized that he could hear footsteps coming down the hallway.  Ms. Harris' squeaking loafers were approaching, their rhythm slowed but steady, and joining that creaky melody was a softer, higher-pitched sound . . . as if the owner were wearing tiny shoes.  Stomach twisting, Ryuuen spun in his seat, hearing the squelch of chair leather that meant Sai had done the same.

"That's him," he heard himself whisper, and was astonished by how steady his voice was.  "That's our little boy.  That's Hiroki."

Sai nodded silently, such a warm, joyful smile on his face that Ryuuen couldn't bring himself to be nervous, anymore--and what was there to be nervous about, anyway?  This was Suzaku's will; this was where they were meant to be, the happiness they were meant to possess.  This was what all the pain and anguish and loneliness of the last life had been for.  It had been for this, for sitting in a cluttered office, twisted uncomfortably in his chair, Sai's hand clasped tightly over his own, waiting for this door to open.  Waiting for their son.

Hot tears pricked at his eyelids, but he pushed them back.  His heart was pounding in his ears, thrumming through his limbs and tingling at his fingers, but somehow, he was sure that he had never been so relaxed in his life.  Everything was a strange, warming contradiction, and these last thirty seconds had somehow smoothed into a lifetime, where death was the opening of that door, and rebirth the child who stepped through it.

The footsteps halted.

Ryuuen held his breath.

As he watched, the tarnished brass of the knob trembled and then, very slowly, began to turn.  With the groan-click of the bolt sliding out of place, the door itself began to move, creeping inwards, hissing with displaced air--and then, as if time had suddenly decided to return to normal speed, the door swung the rest of the way open, thudded against the door stop, and Ryuuen found himself staring into two wide, blinking amber eyes.

"Ryuuen," Ms. Harris said softly, "Saihitei.  This is Hiroki."

Breath rushed back into his lungs, and he gave himself a moment to stare.

Hiroki was tiny, the top of his head coming only to Ms. Harris' thigh, but there was a sort of strength to the way he was standing, a fire to his eyes that seemed to challenge whatever he glanced at.  He had been dressed in a hooded red sweatshirt with the word "INDIANS" printed across the chest, as well as a pair of non-descript blue jeans and white tennis shoes; the only oddity to his clothing was the pendant that hung from his neck, a heart-shaped locket suspended on a frail golden chain.  Rather than puzzle out the locket's presence, however, Ryuuen opted to bring his attention to the boy's features, and carefully let his gaze meet the Hiroki's own.

Something happened when their eyes met.  He wasn't entirely sure what.  But something.  A tingle ran through his body, somehow both warm and icy, and strangely, he saw Hiroki's small shoulders tremble at the same moment.  And as he stared into those wide, intelligent golden eyes, the left half-hidden by a tuft of silvery-grey hair, he knew that the expression in those eyes was one of recognition.

He knows us, somehow...doesn't he?  From--  He swallowed.  From the Book?  Who is he?

He felt Sai's fingers tighten around his own and turned, meeting the younger man's eyes; within them he saw his own concerns, his own fears, his own realizations . . . but, he saw something else, too.  He saw determination, and instantly understood.

It doesn't matter who he was.  All that matters is that Suzaku has chosen us to protect him, and no matter how difficult it might be, that's what we have to do. 

He's ours, now.  He's our son.

The tension draining from his muscles, Ryuuen gave the other man a slight nod, then turned back to Hiroki with a smile.  Much to his surprise, the boy was still gazing up at him, but now his expression had changed.  It was no longer one of recognition.  It was one of relief.

"You take me home?"  His voice was so small, his words so broken--it seemed strange to hear such unsophisticated language coming from the owner of those large, knowing eyes. 

Ms. Harris, stationed just behind the boy, gave them a firm and evaluating glance, perhaps attempting to remind them of her earlier words--but Ryuuen just smiled at her. 

"Yes," he said, reaching out to take Hiroki's small, sweaty hand in his own.  "We're taking you home."

~*~

Despite Ryuuen wanting to take Hiroki home as soon as possible, after Sai pointed out that they didn't yet have a home to take him to, the smaller man reluctantly agreed to wait.  Sai's aunt was still in the process of moving her things to her new, smaller home, but she had promised that the house would be ready for them to move into by the end of the week--unfortunately, Thanksgiving was on Thursday, and that presented something of a dilemma.

"Sai, we can't just leave him in an orphanage for Thanksgiving!"

They were still seated in Ms. Harris' office, the young woman reclined thoughtfully in her chair, Hiroki returned to wherever it was that he'd come from.  They had already filled out the necessary paperwork to ensure that the boy would enter their custody, and according to Ms. Harris, could take him whenever they were ready; Ryuuen was considering giving Taka a quick call and asking if he would mind a small visitor for a few days. 

Sai turned calmly to Ms. Harris.  "Would it be possible for us to pick him up on Thursday, take him to dinner, and then return him afterwards?"

The young woman shrugged, tugging absently at her tie as she spoke.  "I don't see why not.  By law, he's your child, now; I don't see why there would be a problem with you taking your child to Thanksgiving dinner.  ...but I'm not so sure you'd be able to return him afterwards.  I'd have to check on it."

Ryuuen folded his arms over his chest, lower lip jutting outwards.  "He's going to have Thanksgiving with us," he said firmly, throwing Sai a look that dared him to say otherwise.  "If we have to keep him at the apartment for a little while, then Taka will just have to deal with it."

"Well," the younger man sighed, "I suppose things will work out somehow.  They have thus far, after all.  Perhaps my aunt will finish her packing earlier than expected."

Ryuuen smiled sweetly.  "Perhaps we could help her."

~*~

Notes:  Sorry to stop here, but Thanksgiving dinner awaits, and I must go prepare myself. *nod*  But I did want to post a new chapter to this today, because it's Thanksgiving, and this is my only fic that deals even remotely with the holiday. ^_~.  I wanted to get to the dinner itself, but I'd rather wait and do it when I have more time than rush-rush-rush to get to it now.  So.  I apologize for the brevity of this chapter, but hope that you'll bear with me until I can get on with the next part.  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! ^_^.  ~Ryuen