I am thinking this is a one shot, but I might be persuaded to continue if I get enough interest. So let me know what you think I should do by reviewing or PMing me.

I Want You With Me

April

"And I want you with me," Jackson said, his voice steady, but his eyes wide with fear.

April looked around her, wondering if this was real. Could she be dreaming this? It felt pretty real and based on the looks from the astonished crowd, it seemed real.

"I love you," he repeated, maybe guessing that she was reeling from the sudden turn of events, "And I think you love me too."

April knew then that if this wasn't real, if she had fallen asleep, then it was a nightmare. Because only a nightmare would make her choose between Jackson and her groom. Matthew...poor Matthew. She wanted to turn to him and reassure him, but she couldn't. She was so shocked. How could she reassure Matthew when she wasn't sure if she was in a nightmare or not?

"Do you?" he asked, his voice wavering slightly.

April looked up at him and her mind raced for something to say. Did she...love him? Was he serious? He knew she loved him. She had told him months ago. But she couldn't say so in front of everyone here. It was...too...she didn't even know what the word was. Hurtful? Mean? Insensitive?

April inhaled as she let her feelings rush over her. She was...shocked. Past the shock was a myriad of emotions that were competing for dominance. Confusion. Elation. Anger. Happiness. Panic. Hurt. Wonder.

April scrambled to find words that fit all the emotions she was feeling. The crowd was now looking at her in concern...like maybe she had gone into shock. Should she pass out? Pretend to pass out? No...no. She could handle this. But how?

"April?"

April focused on Matthew, her groom and looked at him. He knew. He already knew. He had to.

She turned to Jackson and said in a gentle tone, "You should leave."

Jackson winced at her words and he asked, "April…?"

"Jackson, go," she said more firmly.

Jackson furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and April waited for him to do what she asked.

"No," he finally said, "Not until you answer my question."

"Please, just trust me," she pleaded.

Jackson looked between Matthew and April and then turned to leave, his shoulders slumped in defeat. April wanted to call out to him, but she couldn't now. Not when she had a room full of people to deal with.

"Matthew, we need to talk," April said quietly, taking his hand and guiding them to the back of the barn and leading him towards the lodge where her dressing room was. As they left, the barn suddenly filled with scandalized chatter. She could only imagine what her family was thinking right now. Who had their little Ducky become? Someone who made false promises and hurt good people?

"April, what the hell?" Matthew said as she shut the door.

"Matthew," April said, holding both his hands in hers, wondering where she would begin with him.

Matthew looked into her eyes and his breath caught in his throat as he stated, "You are going to...you're going back to him?"

April nodded, tears welling in her eyes as she fought back a sob.

"April," Matthew said as if he couldn't believe her, "When you love someone, it isn't supposed to hurt. Jackson has hurt you. How can you want that?"

April knew Matthew was making sense. Jackson had hurt her. A lot. She had loved him. Given him her virginity. Tried to be his friend despite him dumping her. And he...he had just given up it seemed. Everytime.

Why would he say he loved her? It made no sense. Months ago, she had essentially said those same words to him. Said she wanted him with her. Why had he gotten so angry if he loved her? If he always loved her? April couldn't wrap her head around it.

"He'll hurt you again," Matthew said, but not in a mean spiteful way. It was more a pained and regretful, as he released her hands.

With that said, he left and April hiccupped as she released her sob as she stood alone in the room. April sank onto the chair in front of her makeup mirror and shook as she cried, wishing she was anywhere but here.

April didn't know how long she was left alone in that room, but the door clicked open and there was her father.

"Daddy," she whispered in a tearful, raspy voice, "I'm...a m-mess."

"No," he said gently, kneeling in front of her and wrapping his arms around her, "You're in love."

April looked up at her dad and said, "Is this what it's supposed to be? Love? To hurt? To hurt the ones you love? I hurt... I hurt. Myself and others," April said through tears as she shook her head, trying to understand the insanity of it all.

"Love is...whatever it is, honey," her dad said, "If you want a beautiful love, you will be waiting awhile, especially if you think it will just come to you and don't work for it."

April sniffled, not really sure what he was trying to tell her.

"You love this Jackson?" he asked her gently.

April nodded and said, "I don't know why. We have...done nothing but hurt each other, most of the time without even trying."

"Well that's encouraging," her dad chuckled.

April looked at him and asked, "How is that encouraging?"

"Can you imagine if you tried to love each other and never tried to hurt each other? Can you imagine how beautiful and wonderful your love would be?" he asked with a smile.

April was silent as the weight of his words settled inside of her. No. She couldn't imagine it. They had never been all in. Ever. Could she go all in? Love Jackson despite all the hurt and pain he had caused? The pain she had caused him?

"The truth is, you will hurt each other," her dad said regretfully, "It's bound to happen. But does your love outweigh the hurt?"

April thought about all the couples she knew that seemed unshakable. Callie and Arizona, Meredith and Derek, Catherine and Webber. Lexie and Mark. Her own parents. They had all had incredibly painful relationship moments, but they kept coming back for each other. Did they all decide the love was worth the hurtful parts? They must.

April watched as her dad stood and held his hand out to her.

"I think it's time for you to get a move on, honey," he said softly as he helped her to her feet.

Suddenly her dress weighed a million pounds. The thought of going to find Jackson seemed like the next tortuous chapter in their story she was loathe to begin. April opened her eyes and said, "Okay. I am ready."

He nodded led her out of the little room for the second time that day.

Jackson

As expected, Jackson found himself at Joe's bar, waiting for the finale of this day. Would April Kepner become April Taylor after all? Was Matthew trying, right now, to convince her he was the one for her? Jackson sipped his scotch at the thought.

Jackson had to admit that Matthew did look better on paper. He was the ideal for April. Faithful, devout, and steadfast in his love for April. Matthew had no reservations about proclaiming his feelings to April, whereas Jackson had nothing but reservations when it came to expressing himself. And when he did get the courage, it was often at the worst possible time. Case and point, today at April's wedding.

Another gulp of scotch that burned going down.

Even though Matthew was better for April on paper, Jackson knew...well he knew that he was the top choice. Because Jackson knew that his love for her...it was forever. She was…everything to him. Except his. Another burning gulp of scotch.

"What happened champ?" the bartender asked.

"I…," Jackson trailed off, not knowing how to put everything that had happened today succinctly. "I believe in soul mates," he concluded as he finished off his scotch.

The bartender grimaced and refilled his glass and said, "This one is on the house."

Jackson nodded his head in appreciation. You would normally think the term 'soul mates' would mean happiness. So far for him and April it meant disaster.

"Soul mates, huh?" said the most welcomed voice in the world.

Jackson spun on the bar stool, taking in April. She was wearing the sweat suit she had worn earlier when she was trying to find her bridesmaids in the hospital. Her hair was now down, and wavy around her shoulders. She looked exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes. But still, she was beautiful.

"April," he whispered.

"I am guessing you need this," the bartender said, setting down a glass matching Jackson's.

April stepped forward and sat on the bar stool and took the drink in her hand.

Jackson watched as she lifted the glass to her lips and drank it all in one long gulp, shivering as it went down and making a disgusted face.

"You stopped my wedding," she stated, in a small voice. The bartender, who was clearly eavesdropping, turned and refilled her drink at the new information. He then turned round and pretended to wipe glasses down once more.

Jackson only nodded and took a sip of his own drink.

"Why would you do it like this? It makes no sense to me," April asked, looking at him for the first time.

"I don't know. It was never something I planned. When that reverend asked for my support, I realized I could never give it," Jackson said, taking another sip of scotch.

April remained silent and said, "I have been taking the weight of the blame for everything that has ever gone wrong between us. But I won't do it anymore."

Jackson nodded. He knew he had been unfairly hard on April for everything. Now, he realized it was because he loved her and was incredibly hurt because each day that he held in his feelings, the more he resented that April was moving further and further away from him.

"You've really hurt me," she said, not in an accusing tone, but...there was something fragile about the way that said it.

Jackson looked down in shame and he felt tears threaten to show. He blinked them away. He hated himself.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in a gruff voice. She nodded and sipped her scotch. As she set it on the bar she said, "Me too."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"I love you too," April said, "And I want you with me."

Jackson looked up at her in shock and disbelief. Had he drunk himself into an alcoholic dreamlike stupor?

"I love you," she said again as she stood, "But I am not ready for… our next step yet."

Jackson was silent, not really understanding her.

"Can you wait?" she asked, setting some cash down on the counter.

Jackson knew he would wait forever. He nodded and said, "I will wait."

She nodded and walked out of the bar. As the door shut behind her Jackson turned back to face the bar, a small smile on his face. She loved him.

"Soul mates," Jackson muttered, shaking his head. He couldn't believe that she had made him a believer. He lifted the last drink of scotch and drained his glass. He had gotten the finale of the day. And it was a better ending than he had hoped for.

Jackson threw money down on the bar and the bartender said, "My scotch didn't make that smile. Maybe soul mates aren't such a bad thing."

"I will let you know," Jackson said, slipping his jacket on and walking out of the bar.

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