A/N: This is a short Christmas story and I know, it's a bit late, but I've been super busy lately and well, I had no plans to write this one, either, but my muse's woken up at three in the morning and wouldn't let me sleep or do anything else until I wrote this one down. So, yeah, sorry it's late and sorry if it looks a bit rushed.
Hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas and happy New Year! :)
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For the first time in many years, they had the Christmas off for two days. Two damn whole days. Both Christmas Eve and Day.
And Gibbs wasn't happy about it.
Working always helped him to keep his mind away from his painful memories; it kept his mind away from the voices he heard louder during Christmas holidays and if he wasn't feeling so exhausted all of a sudden, he would've ignored the time off. Vance' order be damned.
Yet, there he was; spending Christmas Eve alone in his basement, drinking bourbon while trying not to think too much about what he didn't have anymore.
The sound of footsteps that echoed in the basement brought him out of his stupor and he knew only too well who would show up at his doorstep on a night like that and damn, he wasn't in the mood. He wanted to be alone and miserable. He wanted to think about his girls and then try not to think about them; he wanted to have a choice and with DiNozzo there, it wasn't possible.
"What the hell are you doing here, DiNozzo?" He growled the moment Tony's foot landed on the first step.
Tony lingered on the third step as he felt the anger and frustration in his boss' voice. "Hey, Boss." He tried to sound cheerful. "Thought I should keep you company."
"Who asked you that?"
"Nobody." Tony frowned. "Just didn't want you to be alone on a night like this."
Gibbs didn't need to actually hear the words 'Didn't want to be alone, myself, either' to know they were there and had he been in a slightly less grumpy mood, he would've suppressed his anger and let the younger man stay. But he wasn't and so he let his bad mood show. "And what if I want to be alone?" He growled. "Did you stop to think about that, DiNozzo? I have to deal with you every single day of the year; don't you think I deserve a break?"
'Ouch, that hurt.' Tony flinched inwardly and gulped. "Umm, yeah... Yeah. You probably do. Especially from me, right?" He chuckled bitterly. "Umm, I'll just go. Sorry for ruining your night. Merry Christmas, Boss." And with that he was out of the door; and so fast that even if Gibbs wanted, he wouldn't have been able to stop him.
Gibbs for his part felt guilty for saying those words to Tony. He knew how lonely Tony was probably feeling, having no one other than an estranged father and he didn't want to see the look of desolation on the younger man's face, but he was tired and hurting and missing his girls. And he was Gibbs, for God's sake; he didn't take his words back.
Tony had left two bottles of expensive bourbon and a great bag of coffee on Gibbs's coffee table before leaving the older man's house. He felt stupid for dropping by just like that. He hadn't really felt welcome in Gibbs' house for a while now, but he'd thought with himself that Christmas was different; maybe they could talk and work out their differences.
'It turned out so well.' He thought dejectedly.
Inside his apartment, he tried not to dwell on it too much. So what? It was another rejection on the list. He was used to it. Right?
The problem was that after so many years, he still wasn't really used to it. He was just the kind of person who didn't want to lose his hopes altogether and that kept causing him more pain; but he did feel bad for ruining Gibbs' night, too and wished he could just undo what he'd done that night.
Sighing, he grabbed his phone and before he could change his mind, dialed his father's number. "Not Now, Junior" was the answer he got after the forth ring and with that simple phrase, the line went dead.
For a second he was tempted to yell angrily and throw his phone out the window, but he stopped himself right in time. It wouldn't help him if he got angry at the world. It wouldn't help him if he felt miserable and lonely and it certainly wouldn't help him if he drowned himself in alcohol. But it would help him if he stopped with his pity party and did something to keep his mind busy. So instead, he burst into laughter at his luck and even though it sounded hollow and bitter even to his own ears, he knew it was better than get angry.
Making up his mind, he once again grabbed his keys and left his apartment, his so called sanctuary, before it could suffocate him.
...
Thursday morning saw Gibbs walking into the bullpen, armed with two cups of coffee; one black and one the way DiNozzo liked it; but to his surprise, or maybe he shouldn't have been surprised, Tony was already there, with a cup of coffee in his hand.
Not knowing what to do with Tony's coffee, he put it on the younger man's desk, anyway and walked to his own. But before Tony could address it, McGee walked cheerfully into the bullpen and Gibbs silently admitted to himself that there was a God.
"Hey Boss. Hey Tony." The youngest agent greeted them.
Gibbs merely nodded his head as Tony looked up at his Probie and smiled. "Morning, Tim."
"So? How was your holiday?" Tim asked Tony as soon as his butt touched his chair.
"Hmm," Tony narrowed his eyes before grinning. "Let's just say it was productive."
McGee laughed at that. "Yeah?"
"O yeah." Tony joined in.
"You spend the last two days here, DiNozzo? Wasn't the order to stay away from the office clear?" Gibbs demanded, not letting their good mood last long. The pile of papers on Tony's desk could clearly say how much work the other agent had done.
McGee's eyes widened at that and his eyes dropped on the pile of papers and reports on Tony's desk before his gaze went back up to Tony's eyes.
Tony shrugged. "Like I said, productive." He chose to ignore Gibbs' question, knowing nothing he said would fool the others this time.
"What?" Tim sounded surprised. "But I assumed-"
"You always do," Tony interrupted him, "don't you, Tim?" He then smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry about it. Tell me about your holiday? How was it?"
McGee smiled faintly. "It was good. I... Well, I actually spent it with my family and you know, even my father tried to play nice."
Tony smiled back. "He's improving, huh? Well, He's clearly willing to do better. Give him a chance, Probie; he might surprise you."
"The way your father did?"
Tony sighed. "Your father has never been an alcoholic, self-centered bastard. Don't compare him to Senior."
Tim could hear the years of hurt in Tony's voice. "Did you talk to him?"
"You mean did I call?" Tony turned his gaze back to his work. "Yes."
"So?"
"So what?"
"So what did he say?"
"Not now." Tony replied.
"Why not? Come on, Tony. What did he say?" Tim pushed.
Tony looked back at his teammate. "He said, not now."
Tim's eyes widened as the realization hit him. "What? That's it?"
Tony shrugged. "Add a 'Junior' to it and that'd be it."
"That's..." McGee couldn't find any word to say to that. "Where's he now, anyway?"
Tony snorted. "God knows." He paused. "Actually, I'm pretty sure even God doesn't know that, sometimes."
"Oh, man." Tim growled in sympathy for his friend.
"Yeah." Tony chucked bitterly. "So don't compare your father to mine. The Admiral might have been too hard on you, too criticizing, negligent even. But at least he'd never ignore your whole existence."
'Sometimes, I wished he did.' Tim thought passively before dismissing it instantly. He might've had it hard, but at least he had his sister, his mother and his grandmother around. Who did Tony have?
Deciding not to dig any deeper, he turned his computer on and tried to change the subject by talking about a movie he'd seen with his sister during his time off.
...
By the end of the day, they still didn't have any important case; so Gibbs decided to let them leave early.
Stopping by Tony's desk on his way out, he posed the question he'd meant to ask the whole day. "You got any plans for tonight, DiNozzo?"
Tony looked up at his boss. "Actually, yes, Boss. I-"
"Let me rephrase it." Gibbs didn't let the younger man finish his sentence. "You got any plans that doesn't involve working or your bed, DiNozzo?"
Tony sighed and sagged into his chair. "Why?"
"I've received two bottles of great bourbon as a Christmas present." He smirked knowingly. "Thought we could share."
Tony knew it was Gibbs' way to apologize to him for the other night and although he'd been hurt by the rejection, he couldn't exactly be mad. Gibbs was allowed to have his down moments. Just because he didn't lock his door, didn't mean he couldn't turn visitors away. It was just that he wasn't sure why Gibbs was asking him to join him, now. "Look, Gibbs, if you're saying this just because you heard my conversation with Tim; don't. Because, really, it's OK. I'm used to it. It's really nothing new." He tried his best to keep his smile from wavering.
Now it was Gibbs' turn to flinch inwardly. The resignation in Tony's voice was too hard to take and it hurt to think that he'd added to it. He, reluctantly, resisted the urge to sit in front of Tony and squeeze the younger man's shoulder reassuringly. He needed to show Tony that he wasn't all alone in this world, but he needed to do it his way. "I'm doing this because you didn't deserve the way I treated you the other night." Gibbs confessed easily. "I'm over my bad mood. You in for a warm dinner?" 'Say yes, please!' Gibbs added silently.
Tony studied the older man, thinking whether or not it was right to take more of the other man's time; but then he figured that he'd been invited this time; so it must be alright. He smiled genuinely this time. "I'll be there at 8."
Gibbs smiled slightly in return and nodded, and before turning on his heel to walk away, he quietly said, "Thanks."
Tony's grin widened. In their own strange way, Gibbs had apologized and Tony had just accepted it.
They were good.
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... The END ...
A/N: Let me know what you think. :)
Hey, it's Christmas, they deserve a happy ending! Right?! :D
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