Love Will Thaw
by C. S. Raine (aka battousai24)

Chapter 6: We Know Better

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Elsa?"

It was Anna's voice. Elsa, who was leaning over her desk and hiding her head in her arms, shot up immediately. She felt her heart almost stop. She's here, she thought, what am I going to do? Elsa knew she was going to have to face her sister eventually. Either she would have that talk now, get things over with, or they would have to go to the dining hall and eat dinner together in awkward silence and then also have the talk afterwards anyway. If she had it her way, she would've shut herself in her room and hide away for a few days, but she knew that would be childish, and it would be unfair to Anna. She promised never to shut her out ever again, and she was going to keep that promise. Taking a deep breath, she finally stood and walked to the door. When she opened it, she was greeted by a face so adorable it made her heart skip a beat. Outside in the hallway stood Anna, chewing on her lip, feeling as nervous as Elsa probably was, and swaying on the balls of her feet, as if to keep herself from running away. The sight reminded Elsa of times when they were younger and Anna felt guilty about doing something wrong or getting into a messy accident. Their parents would always seem to give in right away because they all knew that she never really meant any trouble. And now she was feeling the same way. She gave Anna a small smile, hoping to calm the younger girl's nerves.

When Anna saw the reassuring expression on her sister's face, she shyly smiled back and entered the study, following Elsa as she walked back towards her desk, closing the door behind her. There was an awkward silence between them. Neither was sure of what to say or how to express their feelings, and they couldn't help but recall the last moment they were together in the same room. They were both thankful of the dim lighting. Thanks to the dying embers in the fireplace, their slightly flushed faces were hidden from each other. They were remembering the events that had previously taken place – the confession, the kiss, and the feelings that surfaced – and while they both wanted to make amends, they did not know how to start a conversation. And so they stayed in that silence, each locked in their own thoughts, hoping to find the words to say to one another.

Elsa knew what she wanted to say. She was so sure she could just go right out and give Anna the speech she carefully constructed while alone, but when she saw her sister standing in the doorway, the words had escaped her. The memory of the kiss came flooding back, and her feelings threatened to escape their shackles. Anna's lips seemed to have awakened the part of her that she made sure to lock away all those years ago. Elsa liking the kiss was an understatement. She wanted nothing more than to feel Anna's lips on her own once again, but she had to hide it. She had to pretend that she did not feel anything but pure innocent love for her sister, simply because what she truly felt was wrong. Incest was wrong. It was forbidden. There was no place in the world for two sisters who love each other as lovers do. They would be labeled as monsters, and she never wanted Anna to experience being called as such. Elsa knew the pain of being isolated because of her powers, and the hurtful glares of people who deemed her evil. She did not want her dear sister to go through any of that. Sweet innocent Anna. If she allowed herself to reciprocate the younger girl's feelings, she would risk Anna getting chased by pitchforks. They would threaten to burn them both at the stake, and Elsa would not have that. She loved Anna, and loved her too dearly, which was why she needed to keep her true feelings at bay. She knew that if she opened up to her sister, and told her that she felt the same, then Anna would just get hurt in the end. That was something Elsa would not be able to live with.

Anna, like Elsa, also thought about the kiss. She remembered how soft the Queen's lips were, despite their inherent coolness. She thought about how she would love to kiss her sister again, but she knew that it was inappropriate. Besides, Elsa would not approve. Her sister made it clear that she did not feel the same way, and Anna would not force herself on Elsa. She loved Elsa, in more than just a sisterly way, and she would never suppress it, but Anna had to reassure her that her romantic feelings did not have to rip them apart. What she felt was real, that much was sure, but True Love was not selfish. Anna smiled. She finally knew what she had to say.

"Elsa, I…" she started, hoping to get her sister's attention first. When the older girl shyly looked her way, and their eyes locked onto one another, Anna knew that she was doing the right thing. She took a deep breath and continued.

"Elsa, I love you," she began again, making sure she maintained eye contact to show her sincerity. When the Queen made a move to speak, she held up a hand, hoping she would allow Anna to finish. When Elsa nodded, she spoke again.

"Yes, I love you, Elsa, and part of that love may not be as you would like, but I want you to know that it doesn't have to come between us. You are my sister, and I will always love you as such. You are my family. You're all that I have, and I never wanted to risk what we had when I told you I was in love with you. And I'm sorry for acting impulsively and kissing you without your permission. You have every right to be mad at me. I was just so caught up in the moment. I was so nervous when I told you I loved you, and when you had said it back, I did not even consider that maybe you were just responding the way you always have – that you loved me, yes, but only as your sister. My judgement had been so clouded that I thought maybe you were returning my feelings, and that you meant it the way I did, as more than just family. But now that I realize that you don't feel the same, I feel so embarrassed. I feel so stupid for acting the way I did. I had been selfish, and now I just want to say that it's okay. It's okay if you don't feel the same.

"I-… I know you think it's wrong. I know the world will not accept it, but for me, it just feels so right, like it's the love that I've been looking for all these years. And I know you're my sister. To be honest, at first I thought it was just sisterly love, and all this time, I've been desperately trying to figure it out – why I'm always blushing when you kiss me goodnight, why I keep dreaming about you, or why I like staring into your eyes so much that I get lost in them, or why I love watching you do anything, really, or even why I feel a bit of misplaced jealousy every time your advisers tell you about needing to marry or entertaining a suitor. And being with Kristoff, while having all these strange feelings for you, made me realize that what I had with him was not the same as what I wanted with you. I realized that what I was feeling for you was exactly what I should be feeling for him. And when I finally put the pieces together, I knew that I was in love with you, my own sister, and that scared me. I was afraid to accept it myself, but eventually, I couldn't deny it anymore. It was difficult to tell Kristoff too, especially since I had to break up with him, and it was crazy to even tell you, but I knew I needed to. It's True Love, Elsa. There was nothing I could do stop it." When Anna was finally done speaking, it was only then that she realized that tears were running down her cheeks. She wiped them away and looked right back at her sister. Tears were also streaming down from the Queen's beautiful eyes.

"Anna… I-… I'm sorry," Elsa managed to say through the sobs. The Princess had opened her heart out to her, and while she wished she could run to her and tell her that she felt the same way as she kissed those tears away, she knew that she couldn't. She needed to be strong. This was all for Anna. Elsa knew that what she felt for her sister was also True Love, but like Anna said, True Love wasn't selfish. She was doing this because she needed to protect her sister. If they committed incest, they would have to suffer the consequences, and while Elsa was prepared to go through anything for the Princess, she would never want Anna to suffer because of her. It took her a moment to compose herself enough to speak again.

"I never meant to push you away, Anna. I don't want you to think that I love you any less because of this. I love you. You're my sister, first and foremost." It was with those words that Elsa gained the courage to step forward and brush the still-flowing tears away from Anna's cheeks, causing the Princess to lean into the touch and close her eyes as her brows furrowed.

"You're my True Love, Elsa," she said, before opening her eyes and looking straight into Elsa's once again.

"And it's okay if I'm not yours. Even if I'm in love with you, you'll always be my sister, before anything else." Anna smiled at her older sister, and Elsa smiled back. She pulled Anna into a tight embrace. Oh, Anna, I wish I could tell you that you are my True Love, too. They stayed there for a while, just holding each other close, reassuring one another without words, that despite everything, their bond as sisters would endure. This time, it was Elsa who broke the silence.

"I just don't want you to get hurt, Anna. You're my little ray of sunshine," she whispered, giving her sister a gentle squeeze.

"If you need space… If you need me to stay away –"

"No!" Elsa was taken aback when Anna pulled away to cut her off. She calmed down when the Princess' expression softened.

"No, Elsa. I don't want you to leave again. We've spent so many years apart and I don't think I can live with myself if it was my fault that you are running away again. I don't want my feelings to get in the way of what we have now, what we are trying to get back. Please don't isolate yourself, especially when none of this is your fault." Elsa knew she would not be able to say no to that. Like their parents all those years ago, she gave in to Anna's wishes, knowing that together, they could face anything. They were better together, after all. She wasn't as scared when Anna was with her, and Anna wasn't lonely when she was with her. Elsa gave her younger sister a gentle smile as she took Anna's hands in her own.

"Then I'll stay here, with you. Always. I love you." This time, it was Elsa that meant it differently, if only to say it out loud for once. It felt freeing, and she truly wished she could just let it all go. Anna smiled back at Elsa, grateful that her sister would still say such words to her.

"I love you too, Elsa."

As long as we're together, you and me.