Merry Christmas!

Okay, to tell the truth, I literally started this fic two Christmases ago. However, I barely got anywhere in Christmas of 2011, and last year I was busy writing my big Supernatural Christmas fic. This year, I decided to revive this fic. I haven't watched a full episode of Buffy forever, so keep that in mind. If anyone seems blatantly out of character, tell me and I'll try to fix it.

This fic takes place right before Into the Woods, which means Riley has not yet left Sunnydale. However, he is still going off and getting bitten by vampires and that will come into play later in this fic. I think the only thing that's out of place in the timeline is that Joyce is already out of the hospital. I am aware that this is earlier than she is released in the show, but some future chapters wouldn't work as well if Joyce were in the hospital, so I took some creative license.

This fic is going to be twenty chapters and two chapters will be posted each day. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Chapter One - The Answer is No

As Buffy glared at the slip of paper in her hand, she found herself wishing Willow never saw the flyer at the Bronze. Because who else would have done this? Not Xander, not Anya, not Tara… Buffy briefly toyed with the idea of this being Spike's fault, so he could get a good laugh, but that didn't seem likely. Giles never went to the Bronze, so that ruled him out, and Dawn had been grounded for the past week. And unless Riley got a personality transplant, he would hate this as much as she did. Okay, Buffy told herself ruefully, so maybe it does seem like he has had a personality transplant, but this is still too extreme for him. That left only Willow.

I'm gonna kill her, Buffy thought angrily. She glanced up at the door of the Magic Box, waiting for it to open. Her fist unconsciously clenched and the paper crumpled. Buffy didn't care.

The bell jingled as the door opened. Buffy got up and stormed over as Willow and Tara entered. Tara looked confused, but Willow obviously knew what was going on. Buffy waving the slip of paper in her face only heightened Willow's surety of the reason behind her friend's anger.

"What the hell, Willow?" Buffy yelled. Willow shrank back a bit, but stubbornly faked her innocence.

"What do you mean, Buffy?" Willow's voice was surprisingly steady. That annoyed Buffy even more.

"You know what I'm talking about, Willow! This!" Buffy waved the paper wildly.

"Okay, Buffy," Tara interjected, her voice mostly steady, even in the face of an irate Slayer. "What are you mad about?"

"This!" Buffy shoved the slip of paper at Tara. She smoothed it out and read the words. She looked up at Buffy, confused.

"What about it?"

"I told Will I didn't want to do this, but she signed me up anyway! Damn it, Willow, why can't you listen to me?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Xander cut in, going over to the girls. "Calm down, Buff. Whatever Willow did, it can't be-"

"Look at what she signed me and Riley up for!" Buffy handed the paper to Xander. He barely seemed to be able to keep in a laugh as he read it. Luckily, Buffy didn't notice this.

"What is it?" Anya asked from at the counter. Xander waved her over and she joined the group. As she read the paper, her face gained the expression she normally had when she was going to say something frank and blunt.

"Well, hopefully you and Riley can have some nice orgasms after this to help get over the horror."

"Anya!" Buffy cried, her face red.

"Ahn, remember how I told you that we don't discuss other people's orgasms in public?" Xander asked in a low voice. Anya didn't seem at all embarrassed; on the contrary, she didn't seem to understand why Xander was making a bit deal over this.

"What's wrong with it? Wouldn't you want to discuss our orgasms with people?" Xander sighed and dragged Anya over to the side to talk to her privately, while Buffy and Willow continued their argument.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Willow?" Buffy demanded.

"I thought you two would have fun!"

"You know Riley and I are rocky, and you sign us up for this?" Willow shrank back a bit, but kept her ground.

"I thought it would help!"

"How would this help?" Buffy demanded. Willow was about to respond when the bell jangled again and a blanket-clad figure rushed in. It bumped into Tara accidentally, and as she stumbled, barely managing to catch herself on the table before her, the figure gave a yelp of pain. "Spike, what the hell are you doing here?"

Spike pulled off the blanket and looked at Buffy. "I heard some rumors about the crazy bint you're fighting. Glory, is that her name? What about you? Can hear the bloody noise in here from down the street!"

"Buffy's mad because Willow-" Xander started, but Buffy interrupted him.

"Nothing that has to do with you, Spike." Spike ignored the heavily implied Go away at the end of Buffy's statement and instead went to the table, putting his feet up as he sat down.

"Really! Slayer's angry at someone that's not me! Well, this is a nice little change of scene. Should be interesting." Buffy's anger was overflowing and Spike was the perfect target for her.

"Shut up and go away, Spike. This is between me and Willow."

"What's between you and Willow?" Giles sounded confused as he left his office. Buffy barely kept in a groan of frustration.

"This has nothing to do with the rest of you, so stay out of it!"

"Buffy, whatever it is, it surely can't be that bad."

"Reserve your judgment until you hear what she did," Buffy muttered darkly.

"Then tell me!" Giles protested.

"Yeah, I'd like to hear what's got the Slayer all hot and bothered too."

"Spike!" At least three angry voices chimed in together to yell at Spike. He rolled his eyes.

"Kill a bloke for askin' a question," he muttered. Everyone ignored him.

"Buffy, I think you're blowing this way out of proportion," Tara stated calmly.

"Agreed," added Xander. "It could be worse. It's not actually that bad." His face grew thoughtful for a moment. "Actually, maybe Anya and I could-"

"Don't even think about it, Xander Harris," Anya interrupted from her post at the cash register, which she had resumed after their discussion.

"But it could be fun!" Xander protested.

"I won't give you any orgasms for a week if you do." Xander looked both embarrassed by the threat and scared of it at the same time.

"I'd still like to know what's going on," Giles stated, annoyed.

"I signed Buffy and Riley up for a competition that was advertised at the Bronze," Willow admitted.

"After I said I didn't want to do it!" Buffy added.

"I still don't see the gravity of the situation, Buffy. Surely it isn't that bad-"

"Giles, Willow signed Riley and me up for the partner Christmas caroling contest!"