A/N - This is a *happy* Christmas story. That means all the heartache of the last episode or two never happened, Ezekiel did his thing and left Sam healthy, and Kevin is contentedly living in the bunker.
The last time they did Christmas was before Dean went to Hell.
The last Christmas they ever had was tainted by pagan gods killing people and Sam crying in his eggnog after he thought Dean was asleep over the thought of being alone the following holidays, and Dean had never thought about it until now.
Well, you know, it wasn't like they didn't have anything going on in the meantime. Both of them had died, Dean got sent to Purgatory for a year, there was all that crap with Cas and the souls, they lost some good people, they were trying to slam the gates of Heaven and Hell for good, and a whole lot more in between.
But a couple months ago, Dean thought he was going to lose Sam to Heaven and be stuck on earth without him, and maybe that's why he was getting all misty over seeing the decorations in town and that coffee commercial with the chick who totally wanted to bang her brother.
Not that Dean was thinking along those lines, well, not the banging your brother part, but in some way it did feel like Sam was his present this year.
And Kevin and Charlie and Jody were all doing good, and Cas had survived falling and was somewhat still sane, even if he did get way too excited over cleaning the crud out of the bottom of the soda fountain at the quick rob, so it's not like they were lacking reasons to celebrate.
Charlie is off with Dorothy saving Oz, which still sounds like thirty flavors of crazy or a bad acid trip when he says it out loud, but Kevin and Jody don't have any family left, not really their family anyway, Sam's last Christmas was the one before Dean went to Hell, and Cas has never had Christmas, especially not as a human.
It only makes sense for Dean to do this for them.
And that's why he's taking off to Idaho two weeks before Christmas for a weekend trip.
Sam smirks and nods and maybe blushes a little when Dean says he's going to spend the weekend with Cas.
"What, a guy can't go hang out with his favorite former angel without some wiseass little brother making a big deal out of it?" he snaps.
Kevin laughs and tells Dean that he's not helping his case.
Whatever.
Dean had been to Walmart just before Christmas once with Lisa, and that had been enough to convince him that it wasn't something he would ever want to do again without backup. Like, taking on a nest of vamps alone at midnight with a plastic spork as a weapon would probably be safer.
So he picks Cas up at Nora's house. Cas was renting her spare bedroom now because he needed a place to stay and she needed the extra money, not to mention the occasional babysitter. Dean sat him down and gave him a Pastor Jim-worthy lecture about how he should really keep things with her casual because if it went south Cas would end up homeless and unemployed.
And, that if for any reason things did cross the "just friends" line, "protection" did not mean a fricking angel blade and that Cas needed to wrap his personal angel sword, because the chick had a kid so she obviously puts out.
Because, you know, Dean's a good friend and it's not like Cas has been human long enough to learn this stuff for himself.
"You're coming to the bunker for Christmas," he tells rather than asks Cas on the way to Walmart.
"Why?" Cas asks, like Sam when he was seven years old.
"Because you've never had Christmas as a human," Dean answers with an eye roll. "Because Sam survived the trials and Kevin has survived almost two years with us, and Jody Mills is throwing us cases and keeping the law off our asses and they all deserve a nice Christmas."
"It's not because you want all your family together for Christmas?" Cas tilts his head.
Dean rolls his eyes again. "I'm doing this for all of you. Do I look like someone who wants to haul a dead tree down a flight of stairs and then up another one into the bunker and then sit around it eating candy out of an old sock? Have you ever smelled Sam's socks? If it was me, I'd maybe drink some eggnog while watching the football games and that's about as festive as I'd get. And by the way, do not trust Sam anywhere near your eggnog. But we saved the world a couple times so I think the least we can do is all get together and have a nice dinner and kick each other's asses on the X-Box I intend to buy."
"I was there, you know," Cas says, looking out the windshield. "At the first Christmas. In Bethlehem. It was in April."
"Really?" Dean looks over at him. "You were part of the whole heavenly choir thing there? Or were you the one who said 'Fear not'?"
"I did not sing," Cas shrugs. "Raphael was the one who spoke to the shepherds, which may not have been the best plan because he severely frightened them. I was among the group who appeared to the shepherds. It was a show of power, sending that many angels to a group of unarmed and peaceful herdsmen. We left two angels to watch the flocks while a few more escorted the shepherds into town. I ended up have to resurrect a few sheep after Balthazar became intoxicated and frightened them into running off a cliff."
It was a frigging good thing Dean wasn't drinking anything when Cas said that because he would have spit it all over the car and then used Cas to wipe it up. "Seriously?" he laughs. "And Gabriel was the one who told Mary she was pregnant?"
"Yes," Cas nods. "It was probably the only time in his life he was ever serious."
Walmart was even worse than Dean imagined. So they go to Target, and Dean actually parked at the Chinese place across the street because there were way too many cars in the Target lot and it would suck if he planned this whole big Christmas and then spent it in jail for shooting some son of a bitch who scratched his car.
In the electronics department, unbelievably, they found someone to help them right off who actually seemed to have more brains than a wendigo.
Dean kinda hopes the guy gets paid on commission, because he was helpful, got Dean an X-Box and a tv that could just plug right in and when he saw the games Dean picked, he suggested a couple others. They end up with Call of Duty for Sam, Skyrim for Kevin, Grand Theft Auto for Dean, Bioshock and Blacklist because Target Dude said they were awesome, and a recommendation to check out World of Warcraft on the laptop. Target Dude even offers to keep the stuff behind the counter for them while they look at other things.
Dean snags new socks and underwear for Sam, and some for himself too, while they're at it.
"You know what's sad?" he asks Cas. "One year my teacher bought me and Sam new socks and underwear and gloves and a Trouble game, and it was one of the best Christmases we ever had."
Cas nods and doesn't really say anything, so when he turns his head Dean grabs a couple packs for him too.
They venture through the candy aisles and pick up candy canes, chocolate snowmen, some of those wild flavored jellybeans, a crap ton of M&Ms in holiday colors, and some of those marshmallow chicks they have at Easter in red and green.
Next comes the toy section, where Dean picks up a deck of Uno cards, a Jenga game, and a Yahtzee game.
"Sam and I made our own when we were kids." he explained to Cas. "We'd scrounge up dice from other board games, or a couple times I stole them from gas stations, and we'd use old paper cups to put them in, and napkins or paper towels to keep score." He waves a hand at the other board games. "We used to buy old board games at second hand shops and yard sales because they didn't take up much room and gave us something to do when we were on lockdown in motel rooms. Scrabble had too many pieces to get lost. Especially when Sam put "jinxed" right over the Triple Word Score. With Clue, we got distracted by making up stories of how it was really a poltergeist in the conservatory, they just thought it was Colonel Mustard with a wrench." Cas nods, even though he probably has no idea what Dean is talking about. "We had Monopoly once, and that actually ended up with punches thrown."
"Do you ever think you and your brother might be a bit competitive?" Cas suggests with a hint of a smile.
Dean just snorts and keeps walking.
They finish their shopping, well, Dean's shopping, and Dean takes Cas for dinner at a nice steakhouse because hey, the guy lives off whatever's been on a gas station roller grill too long to sell, so he ought to get a nice dinner once in a while. Dean insists on ordering top shelf steaks and wine and fried cheesesticks with spaghetti sauce which are totally not a chick food no matter what Bobby used to say.
The waitress smiles at them and tells them they're adorable. Cas thanks her, and Dean just smiles and pretends he has no idea what she's talking about.
They go back to Dean's motel room, which is actually a pretty decent place for the price. They even give out free popcorn in the lobby, so Dean snags a big bowl for the two of them to share, and they watch Home Alone, because Cas has never seen it before.
And it's just because they're sharing the popcorn that Dean sits on the bed with Cas, because, you know, they have to both be able to reach it. Just like it's totally because he's used to sitting that way with Sammy that they end up shoulder to shoulder propped up with the pillows against the headboard.
The movie ends, and The Grinch comes on. The popcorn is long gone, but it's been a long day and they're too tired to move, so they just stay like that, through the second movie, and into National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, which comes on after.
So yeah, it was a long day, a long drive and lots of walking around the store and they're a little buzzed, well Dean's a little buzzed and Cas is a lot buzzed, and Dean's really comfortable where he is, so it's completely understandable that he falls asleep with his head on Cas' shoulder somewhere around the part where the Christmas tree catches fire.
He wakes up sometime later in the dark, with a surprisingly muscular body against his back and a solid arm flung over his waist and soft breath tickling the hair at the back of his neck. It's only because he slept like this with Sammy the Snuggling Octopus more than half his life that he just closes his eyes and settles back in rather than getting up and going to the other bed. It's a little cool in the room and he's perfectly warm and comfortable right where he is, no sense in moving. Besides, he's pretty sleepy and had a couple glasses of wine and he's probably not thinking straight.
The next morning, he takes Cas for pancakes before dropping him back at Nora's house in time to change and go to his shift at the store.
"Bunker. Christmas. It's gonna be a surprise for Sam and Kevin." Dean tells him as Cas gets out of the car.
Cas turns back and gives his little half smile before he walks up Nora's walkway and it totally did not make Dean's day like some twelve year old girl. And if it seems kinda quiet in the car and the passenger seat feels empty, he just turns the radio up louder and drives a little faster to get back to Sam.
Sam and Kevin are in the library, Kevin curled up with his feet in the chair, Sam's ginormous feet on the table, Kevin with a comic book, and Sam with some faded old leather bound book.
"Came back alone?" Kevin arches an eyebrow and takes a bite of his beef jerky.
Sarcastic former vegan little shit.
Dean wouldn't have bothered with an answer except that Sam is looking up with a raised eyebrow now.
"Cas'll be here for Christmas," he announces, because he feels like that's expected or something.
Sam and Kevin just kind of look at each other and then at Dean.
"What?" he flings his hands wide. "Nora's parents are coming up from Utah, so it would have been awkward for him to be hanging around and that guy Hobie that works at the store is a Jehovah's Witness and doesn't celebrate Christmas, so he volunteered to work."
Sam and Kevin just look at each other again, so Dean plows on.
"Oh come on! It's his first Christmas as a human. We couldn't just leave him on his own!"
Sam frowns. "Dean, no one said you couldn't invite him any time you want. I mean, this is your home more than ours."
"You're being ridiculous!" Dean sputters. "This is our home, Sam! Ours. Yours. Kevin's. Mine."
"I'm cool with it." Kevin shrugs and takes another bite of jerky and Dean gets the feeling Kevin is like, watching a movie or something.
"Whatever, you two." Dean grumbles and stomps down the hall.
He sneaks back out later when they've both left the room to smuggle in the presents and hide them in one of the empty bedrooms.
Two days later, he brings home a tree, a live frigging eight foot tall Christmas tree he cut down in the woods behind the bunker, informing Sam and Kevin that he found a bunch of old Christmas decorations in one of the storage rooms, so they might as well use them.
Sam gives Kevin his 'I told you so' look, and Kevin just shrugs.
Kid's gonna dislocate a shoulder if he keeps that up.
Dean sneaks Sam's laptop when his brother isn't around and googles traditional Christmas recipes and watches You Tube videos on how to bake the perfect turkey.
The week before Christmas he goes to the grocery store and comes home with all the ingredients for the holiday meal. He shoves them to the back of the huge refrigerator, still in the brown paper grocery bags, and writes on them "Do Not Eat."
The next day he finds the block of cheese he bought for the macaroni half eaten and 'I don't take orders from paper bags' in Kevin's scrawl on the bag.
The day before Christmas, he picks up Cas at Nora's, and drives back to the bunker trying not to smile like an idiot the whole way.
The four of them order pizza and watch It's a Wonderful Life because Sam insisted, and then The Terminator because Dean insisted they needed some testosterone to offset all the mushy bullshit.
Dean shows Cas to the room set up for him, tells him to make himself at home and help himself to anything he needs, and closes the door behind him to find Sam waiting outside Dean's bedroom door.
Sam follows Dean into his room.
"You know it's okay if Cas stays in here with you, right?"
Dean frowns and pretends he doesn't know what Sam's talking about. "Cas is a big boy. Sleeps without a nightlight and everything." He rolls his eyes. "He was a warrior of Heaven since before the birth of Jesus. I think he can sleep in his own room."
Sam looks at Dean and Dean looks away, trying to signal that he does not want to have this conversation.
"You know I'm okay with you having Cas in your life, don't you?" Sam presses on because he just doesn't know when to stop. "Actually, I think it's good for both of you. You're both happier when you're together."
Dean rolls his eyes and snorts "Of course you're okay with having Cas around. I mean, he's your friend too. He pulled both of us out of Hell."
Sam made Bitchface Number 8. "I mean it. I'm fine with you and Cas. You're my brother and you sold your soul for me, and I'll always love you, no matter what. You don't have to choose between me and Cas."
And then Sam does what he always did when he thought he'd made the checkmate point and just walks off with his smug little bastard look.
Dean huffs and slams his door and waits for everyone to go to bed so he can set out the presents like Santa Claus.
He's up and cooking when the other three stagger into the kitchen in the morning, Sam following the smell of sausage because he's got a whole year of the trials draining his body to make up for, Kevin heading straight for the coffee pot as usual, and Cas actually freaking growls when they try to speak to him.
By the time Dean has breakfast on the table, Jody arrives with an armload of gifts.
Sam folds his arms and acts like he knew it all along and asks "Is Garth coming too?"
"Nah, he's on one of those medical mission trips to Africa," Dean answers, pouring Jody's coffee.
"Really?" Kevin frowns.
"He used to be a dentist before he became a hunter." Sam explains.
"He's actually an oral surgeon," Dean adds. "Apparently those are in big demand in third world countries."
They eat their breakfast, and then Dean herds everyone into the library to open gifts. Sam and Kevin were thrilled with the XBox, and Cas got some warm clothes and the socks and underwear and a Target gift card so he could by some stuff to fix up his room at Nora's house.
Kevin is sitting there freaking hugging the Skyrim game. "Dean, how did you pay for all this?" he asks.
"I sold the first edition Busty Asian Beauties on eBay," he tells them.
Sam raises an eyebrow. "Really?"
Dean shrugs and winks at him. "The Men of Letters had two copies."
Jody brought all four men flannel shirts, socks, gloves, hats, and slippers.
Actual frigging fluffy bedroom slippers.
"Yours match your dead guy robe." Kevin helpfully informs Dean.
Dean just nods and does not admit out loud that these are the most comfortable things he's ever put on his feet.
Dean gives Jody a silver knife carved with protective runes, because you never know what kind of shit she's going to run into out there. She's impressed with it, and apparently it gives her a little inspiration, because she decides to go downstairs and have a little heart to heart with Crowley.
There are only a few things left under the tree. Cas gives Kevin a fishbowl and says he'll buy him a fish tomorrow when the stores are open, because watching fish is very relaxing. He gives Sam a leather bound journal.
That leaves two gifts under the tree, and Sam and Cas looking at each other like they're both waiting for the other one to do something.
Kevin mutters something about Crowley and wanders off.
Cas and Sam stare at each other for nearly a full minute, until Dean throws up his hands and asks "What?"
Sam reaches under the tree and grabs a small gift and tosses it to Dean. Obviously he didn't wrap it, because the edges of the paper are straight and there's freaking curled ribbon on top.
Dean cuts the ribbon with his pocket knife, but before he gets the rest of it unwrapped, Sam clears his throat and starts talking. "You're my brother, and we've been through a lot in the past ten years. There have been a lot of times we haven't exactly agreed on things, and some times we weren't even talking to each other, but I always knew, when it all came down, that you would always have my back. And there's no one else I would have wanted to have on my side more than you. I just ... no matter what happens in the future, I want to be there for you the way you've always been there for me."
Dean lifts the lid of the small cardboard jewelry box to find his necklace, the bronze one that Sam gave him when they were kids.
The one Dean threw away in a motel trash can when he and Sam got back from Heaven.
The one Dean has missed every day since then.
Dean stares at it, stunned, for a long moment before gently lifting it from the cotton batting, feeling the familiar weight in his hand again.
"How?" he asks hoarsely, looking at Sam with wide eyes.
Sam's eyes are suspiciously damp. "I couldn't leave it, Dean. Even if you didn't want it anymore, I ... " He trails off and Dean nods. "So I got it out of the the trash when you went out to the car, and the next time we went to Bobby's, I hid it under one of the floorboards in the shed. It's been there all this time. So when I realized you were planning to do something big for Christmas, I asked Jody to get it so I could give it back to you."
This whole scene had been a chick flick moment worthy of a Lifetime Network Movie which Dean only knows about because of the year he lived with Lisa, so he latches onto the one scrap that could steer this conversation into another direction. "How did you know I was planning something for Christmas?"
Sam rolls his eyes. "Uh, let's see. Wrapped presents stashed in that room at the end of the hall. You put up a real actual Christmas tree for like the first time, ever. You bought all that food. And then there was Jody calling and asking what you wanted her to bring."
"Dammit!" Dean growls. "It was supposed to be a secret."
Sam just grins like some freaking giant Cheshire Cat.
Dean doesn't answer him, he just slips the necklace over his head and turns to the person beside him.
Who isn't there.
"Where's Cas?" he asks, looking around, and notices the last gift under the tree is gone as well.
"Go talk to him," Sam urges, even though he looks a little puzzled as well.
Dean walks down the hall and gently taps on the bedroom door. "Hey Cas, you okay?"
Cas doesn't answer for a moment, and when he does, he sounds tired. "I'd just like to be alone for a few moments, Dean."
And dammit if Dean didn't have enough brooding moments when Sammy was a teenager to know one when he hears it.
He pushes the door open, surprised it wasn't locked, and finds Cas sitting on the bed, staring at the small box in his hand.
"Too bad, you're going to talk to me about it." Dean sits down beside him. "What's got your shorts all up in knots? What did this box do to you?"
Dean takes it from his hand, although Cas tries to tighten his grip on it at the last second.
Dean opens the lid, and finds a necklace very similar to the one Sam had just given him, again. This one is a little smaller and much lighter in weight, but basically the same likeness of Gilgamesh on a black leather cord.
"I made it," Cas says, staring at the floor but gesturing at the box. "Obviously I didn't know Sam was going to give you the real one back, and now I don't have another gift for you."
Dean stares at the familiar amulet in surprise. "You made this?"
"Yes," Cas nods very seriously. Hell, he does just about everything very seriously. "You haven't been the same since you threw it away. If I still had my grace, I thought I could have gone back in time and gotten it after you threw it away. I didn't know, of course, that Sam had it. Since I couldn't do that, I tried to make a clay version for you."
He reaches over and tries to take it back, but Dean snatches it away. "No, I want it."
Cas rolls his eyes in a perfect impression of Sam. "You don't want a pitiful imitation when you have the real thing."
"I do want it," Dean insists, and he really does. "You made this one for me. I'm gonna hang it over my bed or something."
"Don't mock me, Dean," Cas says wearily as he stands and starts gathering his things and shoving them into his bag. "I'm going to ask Jody to take me back to Nora's. Next week when I get paid I will get you another gift."
"The only thing I want for Christmas is for you to stay." Dean claps his hand over his own mouth, not wanting to believe he just said those words out loud.
Cas freezes, drawing himself up slightly, and turns. "Dean ... "
"I mean it, Cas!" Dean stands, but doesn't move any closer. "I worry about you when you're not here."
Cas turns away with a snort and starts to leave the room. "I was a soldier for thousands of years before you were ever a blip in eixstence, Dean. I think I can take care of myself."
"I didn't mean it like that!" Dean huffs.
Cas pauses, his hand on the door, but doesn't turn around.
"I just ... I just want you here." Dean tells him, horrified at the words coming out of his mouth. He can't even blame this on alcohol because he hasn't been drinking yet, but he intends to start very soon. "I want to hang out with you and watch stupid movies like it's the first time all over again because you've never seen them. I want you here with me to laugh at Sam and Kevin when they're being all geek about something. I want you to cheer for me when I'm kicking their asses on the X-Box. I want to tease you about being grumpy in the morning. I want you to hunt with us, but if you want to find some gas station around here and sling Slurpies, that's okay too. I just want you here, not in Idaho."
"You don't want me with Nora," Cas says, dropping his head.
"No, I don't want you with Nora," Dean agrees. "But not because of Nora. It's because I want you here. I don't know how else to say it, Cas." He throws up his hands and turns away, not willing to watch Cas leave.
Again.
"I'll stay." He says it so quietly that Dean almost doesn't hear him.
"What?" Dean whirls around.
Cas is facing him now, with that stupid little half smile on his face. "I'll stay." He repeats, louder, stronger.
Dean grins at him like this isn't the biggest chick flick moment in a whole day full of them. "Merry Christmas, assbutt."
Outside the door, there's a noise, and Dean pretends that he doesn't know Sam and Kevin and probably Jody are all eavesdropping out in the hall.