Cartoon-verse. 'He did not know then that falling in love could grant such great, exquisite happiness, nor that it could also lead to such terrible, bitter pain.' Or, how Julian never knew that his love for one woman would change his life forever. The story of Julian's life from meeting a woman he loved, to raising their child, and the end of it all. Julian/Nerissa

A Great and Terrible Thing

Chapter 1: Before

Journeys end in lovers meeting,
Every wise man's son doth know.

- William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

He was a child when he first met the Mage. She was already a grown woman by then. He only saw her from afar; her beauty then was such that it was capable of stopping a man in his steps. Her hair was platinum blond, and her eyes were the colour of the palest jadeite green.

She approached his home. "Is your father around?" she asked him, in a cold and rather detached voice.

"I'll get him." It was business, as usual. She needed some information and the family profited greatly from it.

She was so aloof, and Julian decided then that more important than being beautiful, his future wife had to be able to feel emotions. Although, he admitted, it would be nice if she had some measure of wit and intelligence.

That would not be the last time they crossed paths.

He was not much older (and therefore barely grown-up enough) when he began hearing the rumours about the new Guardians of Kandrakar. This time, all were from Earth save one. He saw them, when the newlywed Queen of Meridian and her consort officially presented them to the people.

The guardians were all not quite what he would have expected; he heard whispers that one of them – the Guardian of Air – was engaged to be married soon. She was 16, and the eldest of them all. The Guardian of Water was the youngest at 13, just a few months younger than the Guardian of Quintessence. They were all very beautiful, in very different ways to each other, and their beauty was also very different from that of the Mage's, who stood near them, as a disciple of magic.

All of a sudden, he felt eyes burning on him, and switched his gaze from the Mage to that of the Guardian of Quintessence. Her forest green eyes (so very strange and beautiful, and visible even from this distance!) seemed to sear his soul. He had already heard rumours about her; she was prone to fits of emotion, stubborn and outspoken. She was fiercely intelligent. She had ideas (this was often whispered in a tone belying the speaker's disapproval).

At this point in time, he thought that she was as much trouble as she was beautiful.

The years passed. He was no longer an adolescent but a man in the prime of his youth. Several girls made eyes at him but between his ailing family (his parents were ill, and the family finances were in dire straits) and his dream to serve Meridian, he purposefully chose not to marry. After all, his parents needed him, and even if they didn't, he would use his finances to sponsor himself in the Meridian army. After all, monsters freely roamed the outskirts, even if the realm itself was a peaceful one.

It was left unspoken that he has not yet met a woman he could love.

He heard that the Guardian of Air had given birth, and that was among one of the reasons why the Guardians were not around in Meridian as much. It led him to wonder whether any of the other guardians were also married, and he did not know why he should care if they were or not.

It did not mean anything to him, after all.

"They say that the Guardian of Quintessence is greedy for more power," his friend Vathek said. Now, as he passed his thirtieth year, Julian did not notice the age difference between the both of them as much as he used to. As children, Vathek would have been an annoying pest, but now he was a valuable friend. In fact, Vathek was now one of his closest friends, the both of them having bonded together over their unmarried status. By now, all of the friends Julian had who were the same age as he was had settled down and started families of their own.

A small part of him regretted not having married earlier, but he would rather not have married a woman he could not love and respect. He had seen couples who have married out of a desire to start a family despite there being no love or respect whose relationships deteriorated to the point where everyone was angry and full of suffering, and he was determined not to fall into that trap.

"What do you say about that then, Julian? Surely you must have an opinion," Vathek prodded him, and he was awakened from his reverie.

"About the guardians? I do not know much of the politics, and would rather not share the extent of my ignorance, thank you very much."

"Come now, Julian. You are now one of the best recruits of the Meridian army," Vathek needled him. A pang of pain shot through him; his parents' death had not been too long ago. They both died within a month of each other; it was as if neither wished to live without the other.

If he were asked, he would deny it vehemently, but deep inside, a part of him wishes that he could find a love like that. One so strong, that it would last a million lifetimes.

Vathek must have realized his mistake, because his expression changed. "I'm sorry Julian. I should not have reminded you."

Julian shook his head. "What are you talking about? Don't be silly, Vathek. Anyway, I do not play politics. It may be necessary in court, where there is often intrigue and scheming, but that is why I prefer being in the training grounds; here, unless you wish to be a dishonourable opponent, all it takes is skill and strategy. You win on your own merits."

Vathek was silent. "They say that the Guardian of Quintessence may be removed from the group if she continues her path. She cannot be the sole deciding factor, and if she forgets about teamwork, unity and harmony, the Guardian of Air will replace her as the Heart of Kandrakar." When Julian did not answer, Vathek continued, lowering his voice to a frantic whisper:

"Do you know what this means, Julian? They say our days of peace in Meridian may come to an end, especially if the Guardian of Quintessence decides to attack Meridian in revenge."

It came to pass as Vathek said. Nerissa, the Guardian of Quintessence was stripped of her position as the bearer of the Heart of Kandrakar, and Cassidy, the Guardian of Water, was made to bear the Heart of Kandrakar. Nerissa, enraged and humiliated, sought to regain the Heart, and in the ensuing battle, Cassidy was killed. In the meantime, the monsters of Meridian grew more numerous, and Julian – together with the rest of his comrades – was more frequently dispatched to dispel them. Even after Nerissa had been neutralized as a threat, the monsters did not go away; she had swayed them so that their sense of entitlement was greater than ever, and so Julian very rarely found himself at home. Nor did he have any opportunity to speak to many people, other than his fellow soldiers. He had not seen to anyone outside of the Army and the Queen's Consort, much less a woman, in months, now that he had made a name for himself.

He saw Nerissa once, after she was captured and before she was imprisoned away in Mount Thanos, when he was there to report to the Queen's Consort. He had been surprised; why would she be in the Meridian court? It was then that he saw the Council of Kandrakar and understood; the Council was convening, and must have sought the opinion of the Queen, who was also the Heart of Meridian. The Queen looked formidable, but her presence was nothing compared to the inferno that seemed to rage from the Guardian of Quintessence. At that moment, he had never seen such a great but terrible beauty contained within a person.

The Mage stood nearby, and she was as expressionless and distant as he'd always seen her. Even as Nerissa's friend – one of her closest aside from the other Guardians, everyone in the Court knew – was condemned, the Mage's face showed not a flicker of emotion.

What a heartless creature, he thought, as he stared at the scene unfolding before him. The Mage opened a portal with her ring, and Nerissa was dragged by her hair towards the portal. Only a fool would have thought she moved willingly towards the portal, but he caught her eyes, and saw reflected in them not only anger, but also suffering, guilt, and self-loathing, much to his surprise.

It seemed like an eternity that their eyes were locked on each other's, but she looked away first. He could feel a flush over his cheeks as he looked away, mildly registering that he felt embarrassed, although at this point, he couldn't quite figure out why.

The Mage never looked at him, as she entered the portal after Nerissa, and it sealed shut.

"Do you think that the Mage will succeed?" Vathek asked him one day, not long after the day he saw Nerissa and the Mage. The soldiers where practising drills, and the two had stopped for a break,

"In what, Vathek?" Julian wiped his brow, before turning to look at his friend. "What has the Mage planned for now?"

"They say she plans to 'reason' with the Council of Kandrakar," Vathek said. "She believes Nerissa can still yet be saved. Although, if you ask me, Nerissa should never have been allowed to be a guardian. They should have stripped her of her powers."

"Is that even possible?" Julian asked, as he took a big gulp of water from his leather skin, before wiping his mouth. "But then again, why choose her to begin with?"

Vathek shrugged, and Julian shook his head. "One of these days, you'll tell me how you know so much about the Guardians and the Council of Kandrakar, Vathek."

Vathek snorted. "I'm only repeating what is common knowledge, Julian. The Queen of Meridian and her Consort are adamant that their reign is a transparent and accountable one; surely even you must know that."

"Of course I do! Any fool could see that the Queen and her Consort have only the best interests of Meridian at heart, and it is a testament to their reign that everyone is content and at peace."

"Except Nerissa, I believe. She'll be exiled to Mount Thanos, and I don't think the Mage can do a single darned thing about it."

"She made her bed, and now she must lie in it," Julian said, his voice hollow.

"Pity," Vathek said. "There are some who say that her ideas are progressive and that once implemented, Meridian would be more prosperous than ever. They say she just went the wrong way about it."

A wan smile spread over Julian's face. "You know as well as I do, Vathek, that the road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Julian smiled as he witnessed Vathek's wedding ceremony. His comrade at arms was now a married man. He supposed that he should have seen it coming; after all, everyone else had married and settled down already, why should Vathek have been an exception?

Perhaps he was hoping that both of them would have been bachelor friends for the rest of their lives. At this age, Vathek was much older than the average groom at marriage, but Julian supposed he did not care. Julian wondered to himself whether he would, if he found the right woman. He himself had already resigned himself to leading the life of a confirmed bachelor. He was past the flush of youth, and the unmarried maidens of Meridian were all too young for him now; he was in his mid-thirties, and if he had married when all the others had, he might have had children close to adulthood by now, like Yan Lin, the former Guardian of Air, did.

He did not have many dealings with the Guardians in general. Aside from the times he held Nerissa's gaze, he had only seen them from afar during the Queen's speeches and presentations to the people. He was too low in rank to ever speak to them directly. However, since the disbandment of the Guardians of Kandrakar, he found Yan Lin present many times with the Queen, and since he had begun answering directly to the Queen, he came into contact many times with her. He could not help eavesdropping on the two women, even if their conversations revolved mainly around their children. While the Queen was trying to manage her only son, the very difficult and spoilt Prince Phobos, Yan Lin's son apparently was deeply in love with a Chinese-American girl, who was barely fluent in Mandarin. This bothered her, from what he could tell, but he soon learnt that the fact that Kadma and Halinor had decided to relinquish their duty as Guardians and their forced disbanding of the current generation of Guardians weighed heavier in Yan Lin's mind. Yan Lin was the only one left, and was reluctant to become a Quinto-Guardian, so she too lost the increased power the Aurameres granted the Guardians of Kandrakar.

"No one should be forced to wield that much power. Too much power can cause one to lose themselves, if not their mind," Julian overheard Yan Lin remarking once to the Queen, when the Queen asked her one day why she desisted in becoming a Quinto-Guardian. "Besides, it would not be the same. I have lost all my friends already, at any rate," her voice cracked at the end.

There was a slight pause, before Yan Lin said, "Your Majesty, I believe that this is the last time I shall visit Meridian for many years. Though the Council is hesitant, I need to search for the next generation of Guardians, and mentor them. It is likely that this time, all shall be from Earth. Of course, if one of them turns out to be from Meridian or the other Dimensions..." she trailed off. "Unfortunately I do not have as much magic as I used to as a Guardian. I can feel my power draining away; I can see myself aging faster than I should..."

The Queen, resplendent in beauty and compassion, nodded. "I understand you well, Yan Lin. Thank you. You are one of the wisest people I know, and one of the few I could trust. If not for you, the Council may have forcefully destroyed the cycle of Guardians, and thus sealed off the different Dimensions forever. We would all be doomed to our fate, without any external assistance, and many beautiful friendships may never have come to pass."

"It was perhaps selfish of me," Yan Lin remarked. "I cannot bear losing the few friends and loved ones I have left; that is the chink in my armour, that is my weakness. Nor can I imagine a life without having seen other beautiful worlds apart from Earth..."

"One day, Yan Lin, we will all be at peace. I am sure you will see it in your lifetime."

"No, Your Majesty," Yan Lin replied, her voice hollow and tinged with sadness. "Meridian and the other Dimensions may be at peace, and perhaps our souls will heal with time. Perhaps our brightly-coloured memories will fade, but their impression never will. I can never remember what we lost, and every time it is dredged up from the past, even though the pain has dulled somewhat, the mere memory is enough to send a pang of pain coursing through..." A pregnant pause ensued. "Perhaps it is for the best I say goodbye for now. The soul must heal, and though it may scar..."

She looked up suddenly, and Julian hid and crouched further behind. He did not think she saw him, but then again, the Guardians often had mysterious powers in addition to the Elemental ones bestowed upon them.

The conversation between the former Guardian of Air and the Queen was to replay many times in his head, and each time, a memory of forest green eyes blazing with barely suppressed anger and fury would appear. His sleep grew troubled and though he did not have any magical powers, and was far from being a prophet, his instinct nevertheless told him that this would be the beginning of the end of peace in Meridian.

"So they must be very worried about the Mage, if they are sending out search parties for her," Vathek remarked to him one day. "Do you think anything bad could have befallen her? She is the Mage, after all, one of the most powerful magical beings in any Dimension."

"Unless somehow the former Guardian of Quintessence managed to escape, I don't see how anything bad could have befallen her," Julian replied, as he packed up supplies.

"True," Vathek agreed. "Prince Phobos is still too young to act out his psychopathic tendencies."

"Vathek!" Julian remonstrated, but Vathek ignored him and continued.

"Much as I admire the Queen and her Consort, they do nothing to curb his behaviour. Children need discipline, not leeway to do as they please. Mark my words, Julian, if his behaviour goes unchecked, when he takes the throne he will be the cruellest ruler Meridian has ever seen. I would not be surprised if he has taken to ordering the monsters on the outskirts to destroy villages and cause chaos."

"It is understandable, I think, the reason they are willing to give in to his demands, Vathek. The Queen and her Consort have always wanted a large family, but the Queen has had so many miscarriages, and Phobos is the only one who has survived; they would cherish him more than anything else in Meridian."

"There is a difference between cherishing and spoiling a child, Julian."

"You would be a stern father, I suppose, Vathek."

"As would you, because you understand the concept of boundaries. Speaking of which, Julian, I believe that, after this mission, I may retire from the army, settle down, go back to weapon-making in the village, maybe have a child... Oh, don't stare at me like that!" (Julian had not realized he was staring.) "I am past the age that most men start having children, but that doesn't mean that I do not want one. My wife, she wants a big family, and truth be told, so do I."

"I see," was Julian's only reply.

A pause ensued. "You can still settle down and marry, Julian. Many women would still have you, if you gave them a chance. I won't ask why you never did before; there is no point. But Julian, it's not too late; you can marry, our children can grow up together."

Julian's wry smile was an answer in itself, but he deigned to give a verbal reply. "I don't think I could marry a girl young enough that I would be closer to her father's age than her, Vathek. Furthermore, I don't think I can marry a girl so young and innocent, when I am so much older and more world-weary."

Vathek did not respond to that statement. Instead, he continued packing his supplies, and so did Julian, who also tried not to dwell on the fact that there was an ache inside of him when speaking of families and children which, although it was not quite regret, was a feeling very close to that.

They had been on the road for a week on the outskirts of Meridian, and Julian had this distinct feeling that he was being watched. All they had come across, however, were great and terrible monsters. Some of the men in his search party had been wounded in the multiple times they had been attacked, but luckily no major injuries had been sustained.

An insidious voice inside of him, cynical and untrusting, whispered otherwise. Was it really luck? Or is someone toying with us? Or watching over us? But who?

Who indeed? That was a question he could not answer. As leader of this particular search party, he had a duty to complete his mission and towards his men, but his curiosity could not – would not – be abated. He decided to confer with Vathek.

"You too!" Vathek cried, almost accusingly, when Julian spoke to him. "I thought it was just me, but if you felt it too, perhaps..."

"No, I don't think the others have. Have you been jumpy as well?" (It was a rhetorical question, for Julian was an astute observer) "We two have been anxious and edgy, as veteran soldiers, so we were able to sense something was not quite right, but the new recruits seem bored and as well-rested as ever; I doubt that they would have, or they would have come to me immediately in fear, or perhaps with high ambitions, hoping to rise through the ranks."

"You're right, Julian. Our experience has perhaps sensitized us to hostile or other magical forces, and there's no need to worry the rest of the men. If they are afraid, they may come to us, although perhaps we should question them on how they are feeling so that we are sure we are the only ones."

"Subtle, informal interrogation is in order, I suppose."

It was as they expected, however; no one else in the party had experienced any feeling other than severe boredom, unless they were battling the increasingly vicious monsters, which was when they experienced severe fear.

This ought to have reassured him that at least his men were all right, but instead he was even more worried. What enemy would be so discreet as to be detectable only by two senior and greatly experienced members of the army?

"Do you still feel as if you're being watched?" Vathek asked him one day. It was nearly a month since they had been roaming the eastern outskirts of Meridian, and although they had come across many monsters, there was still no sign of the Mage. Their supplies were running low, and Julian knew that they had to return soon enough to the nearest settlement (which right now was a good three days' travel away – without rest).

"Yes," Julian answered testily. If only the Mage would turn up and one of the search parties – any one! – would bring her back to the Palace, then this mission would be over.

Vathek pursed his lips, hesitating on what he would say next, before deciding to blurt it all out. "But I don't feel that I'm being watched anymore."

Julian could not help feeling the blood draining from his face, not the light-headedness that threatened his knees to buckle. "What?" It was supposed to be strong and forceful, but instead it came out as a fearful whisper.

"I don't know what this means, Julian, but I don't like this. Whoever is doing this... we don't know what we're dealing with, or their motives. Unless they have something against you..." Vathek narrowed his eyes at him. "Which makes entirely no sense whatsoever."

Julian could not say anything for a few moments, but seeing Vathek looking at him expectantly, he forced a smile. "Vathek, whatever happens, you're second in command. We'll leave soon enough."

Vathek did not seem to be too convinced by his words, but he nodded. Julian let out his breath, which he did not know he was holding, and began to formulate the plan.

What did he know about what was going on?

Firstly: This was a mission to find the mage. On this mission, he felt as though he had constantly been watched. Were the two related?

Secondly: Whoever – whatever – was watching him did not mean him any harm. Leastways, if they – it? – did, they would have acted immediately.

(The alternative – which Julian did not want to think of – was that he was only useful if he was alive.)

Thirdly: Whoever was watching was very careful, trying to ensure that no one detected their presence.

Julian suspected that the only way that he would get answers was to do some sleuthing of his own.

A few nights later, the camp decided to make its way back to the nearest settlement, and was literally on greener pastures, far from the worst of the monsters. By this time, Julian's curiosity had reached its zenith, and he orchestrated some changes which would allow him to investigate. Night fell, and Julian had switched with the night guard so that he would be on duty. There was one other soldier standing guard over camp, so it would be easy to slip away. Quietly, he waited for a distraction.

There was a howl at a distance. "I'll go investigate," Julian said. "You stay here and alert the others if there's a threat."

"Is it wise to go by yourself, sir?" The younger soldier asked hesitantly, and fear was evident from the tone of his voice.

Julian smiled wanly at the younger recruit. "I don't know, soldier, but it's for the better."

Perhaps he had not thought this through enough, Julian thought to himself. He was all alone at night time, and far from the camp. In fact, he was nearer to Megenzjan Falls than to the camp.

As a child, he had heard of Megenzjan Falls. He had come here, once or twice during more peaceful times, but he had not been here since he was a child, and he had certainly never seen it during night time. It was a beautiful place, with the waterfall which gave way to a beautiful, clear lake, and well-tended shrubbery and other vegetation. There were plenty of tall deciduous trees, which cast ominous shadows on the ground at night, but somehow Julian did not feel frightened. The moon shone brightly, and seemed so much closer to the land now. He could sit down here, meditate, and dream of a better future...

It was so tempting, but not feasible. He had responsibilities, duties; he was no longer a green youth right out of adolescence. He was an adult...

There was a rustle of leaves, and suddenly birds of prey flew away from the vegetation nearby. A thump was heard. His hand flew to his sword, which was in his scabbard that was fastened around his waist. Quietly, like a cat, he noiselessly made his way towards the origin of that sound, and to his everlasting surprise, he saw the Mage lying on the ground, unconscious, but in all of her finery.

I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful – a faery's child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

- John Keats, La Belle Dame sans Merci

A/N: I watched W.I.T.C.H. as a teenager, and now I'm way too old to be writing fanfic about it, but I had a Season 2 marathon (seeing as I never watched it until last week), and now I need to get this out of the way to get out my feels and for me to iron out some inconsistencies. If you have any questions about it, do drop me a line, although bear in mind it's my interpretation of cartoon-verse pre-canon.

Point of reference: Hay Lin is 13, Caleb is 15-16 at start of series (if I'm not mistaken)

Yan Lin – 16 at guardian, 20 or younger at son's birth, 40 at Caleb's birth, 43 at Hay Lin's birth, now 56

Nerissa (3 years younger than Yan Lin) – 13 at guardian, 37 at Caleb's birth, now 53. As for why I made her eyes green: because cartoon-verse Nerissa has green eyes, unlike comic-verse Nerissa. Also, Caleb has green eyes too in cartoon-verse. And now, let us have the Harry Potter references...

King and Queen – 16 at marriage, 28 at Prince Phobos' birth, 43, Elyon's birth, 44 Hay Lin's birth, dead at 56

Original Mage – she is young (possibly in her 20s) in the flashback for S1E11 in the Stone of Threbe, and to make this make sense, I made the flashback events roughly 50 years ago (which is long ago). The child in the flashback is called the heir to the throne then and has the same name as Elyon's birth mother (as revealed in S2E1), so this makes sense. I simply followed the W.I.T.C.H. wiki for Yan Lin's age (16 years old when she became guardian 40 years ago) and used my imagination for the rest. The Mage would therefore be about 10 years older than C.H.Y.K.N, and therefore still young enough to not have raised too much suspicion when she had a child in her late 40s (assuming that menopause occurs around the same time for Meridian females as they do for human females – and it's possible but really pushing it).

I spend too much time on this, as you can see.

There is a real saying: the road to hell is paved with good intentions – it is not mine. Yan Lin's statement about the chink in her armour is a subtle reference to Nerissa's speeches in Season 2 which she gives when she gains control over the other former Guardians.

I also could not resist inserting a part of John Keats' La Belle Dame sans Merci in this story, and Shakespeare as well.

Reviews would be lovely. This story is complete and in 5 parts (including epilogue). I'm currently editing the other chapters.

Thank you for reading.