No…

This was wrong.

No…

Very, very wrong.

No, no, no, no, no, NO!

So very wrong was the situation with which Weiss Schnee found herself presented that frankly, she could conjure few other words.

"Sup Weiss! Come on in!"

Despite Yang's superfluous invitation to enter the dorm, and implicitly to join her teammates at the little folding table set up between their bunk beds, Weiss remained frozen in the doorway.

"The food's almost ready," Blake added with a somewhat sober enthusiasm.

This just can't… It can't be…

"Yeah!" Ruby added jovially, which only further exacerbated Weiss' distress, "It's Uncle Qrow's recipe for corned beef and cabbage!"

There was indeed a large pot boiling on a portable Dust burner, in which did further indeed appear to contain corned beef and cabbage, but Weiss couldn't bring herself to tear her eyes away from the monstrous aberration against nature to which her eyes were presently affixed.

I don't know what to think… This has to be a lie…. It's IMPOSSIBLE!

"Uh… Weiss?" Ruby asked with some plain concern in her voice and on her face, "Do you… not like corned beef?"

Boots, leggings, combat skirt, corset, blouse, cloak, and even her highlights, Ruby wore them all as she usually did except… Why is it all GREEN?

"Ruby…" Weiss stammered out.

"Yes?" Ruby responded, visibly relieved that Weiss hadn't been offended beyond words by their little celebration… she still got shivers from time to time consequent of the last time she'd offended Weiss around Valentine's day, though her memory of the incident was still a bit hazy; all she really remembered was that, when she'd woken up, Weiss had apologized, and then proceeded to assert that she hated chocolate…

"Why are you wearing…Green?"

"Oh…" Ruby dropped her left fist into her right palm in realization before answering, "Well it's for St. Patrick's day of course!"

"But…" Weiss stammered, unwilling to believe it, "You… You always wear red…"

"But today's a special occasion," Ruby explained, "It's like, tradition!"

"But how can you wear green? I mean… even the hair!" Weiss insisted, "You're practically named after red!"

Yang shrugged, "If it bugs you that much, we could just call her Emmy for the rest of the day or something,"

All other parties turned to stare at the blonde in slack-jawed bafflement.

"WHAT?" Ruby demanded.

"Ya don't get it?" Yang cocked her head, "Ya know… like rubies are red…"

"Your point, Yang?" Weiss pressed.

Blake blinked a few times before hazarding a guess as to her partner's train of logic, "So Emmy would be short for… Emerald then?"

"Yup!"

"No. Just… No…" Blake shook her head.

Totally ignoring Blake, Ruby asked, "But then Rose wouldn't work either…"

"Hmm…" Yang stroked her chin contemplatively.

"Don't hurt yourself Yang," Weiss rolled her eyes, finally having sufficiently recovered her wits to take the seat that had been offered to her, "This really isn't worth our-,"

"Emmy leaf?"

"Nah," Yang shook her head, "Doesn't have the same ring to it… How 'bout Emmy Stem? That kinda rhymes even!"

Ruby made a face, "Are you saying that I'm prickly?"

"It doesn't have to be a rose stem,"

Weiss shot a look across the table as if to say 'Are they seriously arguing about this?'

To which Blake's expression replied, 'You have only yourself to blame,'

"Emmy grass?"

"Bamboo!"

"Moss!"

This continued for several minutes of the two sisters shouting the names of various pigment-appropriate plant life back and forth over the boiling pot and between an amused Blake and a most decidedly unamused Weiss.

"Oh would you two just drop this!" Weiss finally exploded, "I know I was weirded out but-,"

"Hold on a minute there Princess," Yang cut her off with a completely serious look on her face, "We'll figure this out by the time the food's done,"

Weiss facepalmed.

With a little chuckle, Blake interrupted just as Yang was about to suggest 'peas,' "Come on, It's St. Patrick's Day, let's just enjoy-,"

"That's it!" Both sisters exclaimed at once.

"It was so obvious I kinda feels stupid that I didn't think of it sooner…" Yang said hesitantly.

Ruby nodded emphatically, "It's settled! Until midnight tonight, yours truly shall be known as…" she paused for dramatic effect, before plopping back down into her seat, as she proclaimed, "Emmy Clover!"

And Weiss' face met with the table.

"Uh, Weiss…"

"What?"

"Your hair's on fire,"

"Gah!" Weiss sprang up from the table, only to topple backward in her chair and strike the floor with a resounding thud, "Get me some water! Or a fire extinguisher! Or some frost Dust-!"

When her three teammates suddenly broke out laughing though, Weiss actually thought to feel her hair, and it was fine, "Yang, you-!"

"It was too easy Princess,"

Her left eyelid twitching in impotent rage, Weiss turned to her partner, "Ruby, could you please tell your sister-,"

"I'm sorry, Ruby Rose has left the building," the atypically green girl responded happily, "But if Emmy Clover can help you, don't hesitate to ask!"

Weiss blinked a few times as Blake snickered at her expense, "Are you seriously going to do this Ru-,"

"Emmy, and yes,"

"Why?" Weiss demanded, refusing to believe it.

"Because you're absolutely right! Ruby Rose would never wear green!"

Numerous possible responses to this… unique logic presented themselves in Weiss' mind, none of them of a particularly polite bent, before realizing the futility of trying to reason with either of the sisters – it was a habit she really ought to have broken at this point anyway, "You know what? Screw it! How long until the food's ready?"

"Right about…" Yang stirred the pot one last time and turned the burner off, "Now…"

"Right then," Weiss stood again with a heavy sigh, "I'll go get Team JNPR-,"

"Don't bother," Yang shook her head as she heaped the boiled meat and vegetables onto Blake's plate first.

"But don't we usually do this sort of thing with them?" Weiss asked confusedly.

"Yes but…" Blake eyed her team leader with a weary look, "Apparently St. Patrick's day isn't a thing where Ren and Nora are from, and… Emmy here decided to tell Nora about it…"

"Yep!" Ruby nodded, pleased with herself in contravention of Blake's intended tone, "She got really excited about it too! Like, really, REALLY excited!"

"'Specially when she got to tellin' her about how the leprechauns hide pots of gold at the end of rainbows…" Yang proceeded to pile little Miss Clover's serving onto her plate, "She kinda went nuts after that-, well, more nuts than usual,"

"But what about Jaune and-?"

"Last I saw, they were still trying to fish Ren out of that well…"

"Come again,"

"Well you see, Nora couldn't find a rainbow, so she took one of the groundskeeper's hoses from the shed by the well and started spraying-,"

"I think I've heard enough," Weiss cut her off, but then changed her mind; she had to ask, "Wait, isn't making your own rainbow kind of cheating or something? I mean surely even Nora understands how absolutely ridiculous that is?"

The younger girl shrugged, "Dunno, but she seemed really gung-ho about it,"

As yang filled Weiss' plate with corned beef and cabbage, the Schnee Heiress couldn't but let out a sigh exasperatedly, "Fine, whatever… let's just eat…"
"Nope!" Yang contradicted, "I've gotta pour the drinks first!"

"Yang," Weiss warned, "I told you, no beer; were all minors"

"Yeah, I know…," Yang sighed, somewhat deflated.

"No whisky either,"

"You got no holiday spirit, ya know that?'

"I'm serious," Weiss stated flatly, ignoring the complaint.

"Fine, fine," Yang said as she got up to go pour the drinks.

With a sigh, Weiss turned to her partner again, "So Ruby-,"

"Emmy,"

"You're really going to change your name over this? And for just one day?"

"It's a special day,"

"Right…" Weiss just gave the question up, "Anyway… Is this recipe of your uncle Qrow's really that good?"

"So good I can't even describe it!" so insisted… Emmy Clover…

"Yup," added Yang, a suspiciously restrained tone to her voice, "It was Ruby's-,"

Ruby cleared her throat, "Ahem…"

"Sorry, Emmy's mother's favorite food, so we have it once every year…"

Her curiosity piqued, Weiss took a piece of the corned beef on her fork and made to take a bite, before having the utensil slapped from her hand by the elder of the two sisters, "Drinks first,"

Weiss eyed her distrustfully, "Why?"

"Tradition," Yang shrugged, offering Weiss one of the four plastic cups she'd filled, "Calm down Princess, just drink it first…"

Begrudgingly, Weiss obliged, downing the glass in one gulp, but as she felt the slight burning sensation that followed the sweet liquid as she swallowed, Weiss asked, "Yang… What is this?"

"One hundred percent pure Irish Cream,"

"It's really good!" Ruby nodded vigourously before similarly emptying her glass to Weiss' horror, "It makes the food even better!"

Yang tossed back her own cup before adding, "Tust me Princess, you'll thank me,"

Weiss would wake the next morning with a splitting headache and little recollection of the previous evening. That is, until she saw the upturned table, disheveled chairs, and the block of ice with Yang frozen inside.

"Weiss…"

"Yes Ruby?" Weiss asked groggily, though her mood was somewhat brightened to see that Ruby had restored her typical color scheme in the time since her last recollection… something involving drawing her weapon…

"Could you um… Maybe thaw Yang out?" Ruby asked timidly, "I know you were upset but…"

Weiss rubbed her temples, "Right…" there sounded horrible wretching noises from the bathroom, "Is that…?"

"Blake," Ruby nodded, "She didn't have her drink… and apparently Uncle Qrow's recipe didn't agree with her…"

Weiss thought about it for a moment, "Come to think of it… I don't actually remember what it tastes like…"

"I know, right?" Ruby agreed, "It's just that good!"

"Ren! Pass it up!" Nora swelled excitedly, reaching down into the well for the handle to the little black cauldron; she had to show Ruby!

With an exasperated sigh and a roll of the eyes, Ren obeyed, "Fine, just get me out of here!"

"Yeah, yeah, Jaune and Pyrrha are looking for a ladder now,"

Ren's gaze fell to his feet, presently shin-deep in stagnant water; he was going to be here a while.