AN: Last chapter peeps! Finally we get back to Oliver.

Chapter 5: Alive

One of the things he loved about Felicity was that for all her babbling, she was perfectly capable of comfortable silences; of waiting him out while he looked for the right words. As he sat there in that hospital chair, holding her hand and listening to her breath even out as sleep overcame her, he let all of the uncertainty over what to do next fall away and allowed himself to simply be present in the moment. She was alive, and even though she knew of the horrible decision that had been forced on him, between Shado and Sara, she still didn't look at him differently. She was brave and amazing and still amazingly untarnished, despite a really crappy couple of months. And he loved her—had loved her for he didn't know how long. He didn't understand it until he watched her blood splatter on the snow, on that rooftop this morning, but it was the truth.

He opened his eyes, confirming that she was, indeed asleep, then turned his chair so that he could watched her face. She looked so relaxed, so peaceful. It was how he felt, too, when he was with her. Despite the weightiness of the conversation they had shared, he felt at peace with her hand in his lap, listening to her breathing. It was such a foreign feeling, something he never thought he would be able to find again. Even the old Oliver was never truly at peace. He was always over-eager and looking for the next bit of trouble.

Now that she had woken up, and he knew that she was okay, he supposed he could consider Digg's question from earlier. What would he regret if she had died. Even as he watched her breath, holding her hand, thinking that thought sent a white hot razor of pain through his chest. There weren't words for how he felt about her, not really. For every time he had saved her—from the Dollmaker, the Count, the landmine on Lian Yu, she had saved him a thousand times over. She was his salvation. A balm on wounds he had thought long since past healing. Love was a strong word, but he felt that even it wasn't enough. He had loved before. He had loved Laurel, he loved his mother and his sister, and he had loved Tommy like the brother he had never had. But what he felt for Felicity, it was all-consuming. He could imagine her arguing that it was simply because he had almost lost her, but he knew it wasn't true. It had been growing and festering and taking on a life of its own for months.

He had two choices, he knew. He could let things go on as they had, or he could tell her how he felt. He knew that the first would be safer for her. She would be an even bigger target for his enemies than she already was, if they became involved. But even as he thought this, he could hear her scoffing at him. They were already involved. The only thing missing was the physical aspect of their relationship. In the course of less than six weeks, two foes had figured out that the best way to get to him was through her. It was maddening. The second option was to tell her how he felt, and to face whatever would come together. And that thought made him feel as if he could fly. His world was less dark with her in it. He imagined being able to take her home, and let her spend time with Thea and his mother. He imagined waking up with her in his arms. Salvation. Peace. Freedom. Love.

He remembered Shado's words again. Stop fighting. And LIVE. He couldn't do the first bit of that. His conscious would not allow him to lay down his bow while the city continued to be overrun by those who would pray on the innocent. But he wanted, desperately, to live. To let go of the darkness that plagued his heart. To let I the light. To love, and be loved.

"Hey." Felicity's soft voice broke through his thoughts, and she tapped his leg, which was propped up on the edge of her bed again, with her hand. "Where are you?"

He smiled at her. "Here. With you. Where I should be."

She tilted her head at him, and he could see her brain working. He knew that all the touching, and all the things that he had said when she had woken up the first time had taken her by surprise. He figured he should put her out of her misery and simply put it all out there. But he really didn't want to do it here, in this hospital room. It was Christmas, after all.

"What do you say I see about getting you sprung from this place?" He asked her.

She snorted. "That would be nice, but do they usually let you out after you've been shot in the shoulder?" Leave it to her to make a joke out of it.

"Probably not usually, but I am Oliver Queen. I can promise them that you will be under the best care." He sobered up and took her hand. "But only if you come home with me."

"Oliver . . ." She started.

"Look, we will talk about it," he promised her. "I just don't want it to be here."

"What about Laurel?" She asked. Oh, yes, he had almost forgotten that she was still under the ridiculous misconception that he was still in love with Laurel. It was ridiculous to him, that she couldn't see what was now so clear to him. That he was hers. Now, and forever.

"What about Digg?" He asked.

Her mouth fell open in surprise. "Huh?"

He laughed, he could not help himself because she looked so incredulous. "Exactly," he said.

"Are you saying . . . " She started.

"That Laurel and I are over, and have been since I got back? Yes. I don't know why you would think differently." He pinned her with a look that let the heat he was feeling show, and her eyes widened a little.

She tilted her head. "And here I thought you were telling me you had a thing for John," she laughed.

He couldn't help but laugh. Only Felicity.

xxx

Felicity could not believe that Oliver had managed to spring her from the hospital less than five hours after coming out of surgery. She supposed his promise to have their family doctor check on her first thing in the morning helped. Seriously, who has a family doctor willing to make a house call on the morning after Christmas. A year ago, the thought of leaving the hospital so soon after having a bullet taken out of her shoulder would have totally freaked her out. But she knew Oliver had probably patched up worse at home, and that there were no more capable hands than his and Digg's.

Digg grinned at her as Oliver pushed the wheelchair had insisted she use. She inhaled the cool fresh air, glad to be out of the antiseptic smell of the hospital. The city looked beautiful, coated in the snow that continued to fall lightly. "Your chariot awaits, my lady," Digg joked, taking a deep bow. She smiled at him as he and Oliver helped her into the car.

As they drove to the Queen mansion in a comfortable silence, she looked out the window. The city looked truly peaceful, under the setting sun and a blanket of snow. Christmas lights twinkled. There seemed to be a note of promise and hope everywhere she looked. She turned her head and regarded Oliver, who was watching her with the corner of his mouth turned up in that half smile she loved. He had been very cryptic since her little nap, and somewhat reserved. But she understood why he wouldn't want to have whatever conversation they needed to have in a hospital room. Although she wasn't entirely certain how she felt about having it in his family's huge mansion, on Christmas night, with his mother and sister down the hall.

Then they were passing through the gates onto the Queen grounds, and her breath was taken away by the beauty of it. She had visited before, of course, but never after a fresh snow. She had always loved the snow. "Its so pretty," she mused out loud.

"Mmhmm," Oliver hummed. "We didn't decorate much last year. Last Christmas . . . left a lot to be desired."

"How was that only a year ago?" She mused. She remembered calling Walter shortly before his disappearance, because she had heard that he had been in a bad motorcycle crash. Which had been, in reality, the first time he had faced the Dark Archer and had barely escaped with his life.

"It's rather amazing," he said gently, "how quickly things can change."

She turned and gazed at him. "Is that what's happening here?" She whispered. She could feel Digg's eyes on her in the rearview mirror.

"We will have that talk," he said, and she could hear the promise in his words.

She sighed. She was tired and sore and was tired of feeling like she was going to burn alive in his presence. She hoped that she wasn't setting herself up for disappointment. For all she knew, he wanted to talk about how they were going to go after Slade.

Mrs. Queen and Thea met them at the door. They hugged Oliver and told Felicity they were glad she was safe, and that she was welcome to stay as long as she needed to. She raised her eyebrow at Oliver, wondering what reason he had given his family for bringing her here. Roy waved from the living room. Oliver told them that he would take her upstairs to get her settled and that they would come back down later. Felicity wrinkled her nose at the stairs. "This isn't going to be fun," she groaned.

"Do you want me to carry you?" Oliver asked.

She looked at him, and realized he was serious. She snorted. "No, Oliver, I do NOT want you to carry me. Your family probably already has enough misconceptions about what is going on her."

He led her, slowly, to her room. "I'm just across the hall," he said, pointing to the door across from hers.

She walked to the bed and sank down on it with a groan. "Why does your family think I'm here?"

"Because you were shot, and you scared me, and I don't want you to be alone," he said gently, leaning against the door.

"And why I am actually here Oliver? Beside the promises you made my doctor for medical care . . ."

"Because you were shot, and you scared me, and I don't want you to be alone," he repeated. "And because I love the idea of you being here tonight, after everything that has happened. It feels right."

"About that . . ." She said.

He sat down next to her, and suddenly she couldn't look at him. She looked down at her hands. She wasn't sure she was ready for this conversation. There was no way he felt the same way she did. No matter what it had sounded like in the hospital. Was there?

"Hey," he said softly, turning her chin up to him with his hand.

And it was right there in his eyes for her to see. She forgot to breathe and lost herself in his eyes. The hand from under her chin moved to her cheek as he gentled stroked her jaw with the back of his hand. "Are you sure," she whispered. "'Cause if we go there, and you aren't . . . there's no going back, Oliver."

His other hand came up and he was cupping her face between both hands. "There already is no going back," he said softly. "Part of me wishes like hell there was, because this isn't safe for you. Or for me really, because if anyone knows about this, they are going to know my weakness." His thumbs where ghosting over her cheekbones. "But again," he continued. "It seems they already know. Which is confusing and frustrating because I'm just figuring it out for myself."

"Oliver," she started.

"Shhh, not done yet," he interrupted. He took one hand from her cheek and covered her lip with a single finger. She smiled against it. "When I was . . . hallucinating, I guess, I saw Shado. And she told me that I couldn't fight what was coming. That I should put down my bow, and stop fighting, and live, or that everyone I love would die." She started shaking her head, ready to stop him there. He tapped her lips again, and she stilled. "I thought of that when Slade had you. I don't want to quit fighting—we are doing something good. But I'm ready to be alive again Felicity. I'm ready to really live my life. And I can't do that without you in it."

"Done now?" She asked. She was going to lose her mind if she didn't kiss him soon.

He chuckled, and his hands were sliding back on her neck and into her hair. "Not quite," he whispered, leaning closer. She was sure she was going to implode. "You save me, even when there are parts of me that don't want to be saved, parts that don't feel worthy. And you are the most amazing person I know. And I love you, even thought I don't feel worthy. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be half the man you seem to see in me."

And finally, finally, Oliver was kissing her. And it was so much better than she ever would have thought it could be. Time stopped and there was just the two of them. No regrets, no worries. Just him, and her, and what had grown between them this year. She knew that tomorrow, their lives would be waiting for them. They would have to try and stop Slade, and the man in the skull mask. Life at the office would be infinitely more complicated. But they would face it together. She could live with that.

xxx

Slade sat in his office, looking down at the city. This day had not gone as he had imagined. Blood's cop had reported that Ms. Smoak had checked out of the hospital and was spending the night at the Queen mansion. He contemplated her actions this morning yet again. He believed that people lived only for themselves in the end. But she had surprised him. He hadn't been surprised in years. She was selfless, which meant that she must really believe in Oliver. He steepled his fingers, considering his next move.

Cue skillet's Awake and Alive as we fade to black on Slade. Had that song stuck in my head writing these last two chapters. That, sadly, is the end for now. Shipper that I am, I can't venture too far from canon with Slade, so gotta leave that last bit there. The threat is still there. Thank you again for your kind reviews, favs and follows. The reviews make writing so much fun, and I absolutely love that this fic was finished before Christmas . . . my silly nerdy gift to you! I hope everyone has an amazing holiday!