Knock, knock, knock.

'Oh god, that can't be him. I'm not even ready yet.' Harley thought to herself.

"Just a minute!" she yelled towards her front door. A low chuckle was the only response.

'Why is he so early? Doesn't he know a lady needs time to get ready.'

Continuing to run around her apartment Harley got her toothbrush from the bathroom. She began brushing while going into her bedroom to put on a necklace and earrings. She was defiantly flustered, not only because her date was waiting outside her door, but because it was their first official date. As she ran back to the bathroom she noticed a note had been slipped under the front door. She walked up to it slowly as if it might blow up, picked it up, and unfolded it.

"You know I don't like to be kept waiting…" was all it said. In a panic Harley opened the door. Nobody was there.

Her heart sank. He just left? There was no way he would just go; he'd only been out there a few minutes. This couldn't be happening.

Tears began to rim Harley's eyes. She had ruined everything because she was too rude to just let him in. She just wanted everything to be perfect and now she'd be spending Valentine's Day all alone just because she wasn't ready when her date got there.

"I'm so stupid" she said as she walked back to her bedroom.

When she opened the door she saw flowers and a note on her bed.

Once again she walked to the gifts carefully. First she smelled the flowers and then picked up the note.

"Which is why I like to take matters into my own hands…"

"What does that mean?"

A pair of hands suddenly grabbed Harley from behind and turned her around.

Everything happened to fast there was no time to scream; her mouth was met with a crushing kiss.

It only took a few seconds for Harley to register what was happening and who it was. Once she did she relaxed and smiled.

The kiss broke and now Harley's eyes were filled with tears of joy.

"I thought you left me. I'm sorry I kept you waiting."
"Awe sweetheart, you didn't have to go through so much trouble to get ready. I didn't plan on having you in clothes for long anyway."

"Oh Mistah J."

They began to kiss again, falling onto the bed.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

"Dr. Quinzel, are you in there?"

Dr. Harleen Quinzel awoke with a start. She was short of breath and her cheeks were flushed from the dream she had just had.

'Why is he in my head like this? It's not right.'

Another loud knock at the door brought her further back into reality. Looking at the clock she saw she was already ten minutes late for her next session; her session with the Joker.

"Yes, I'm here" she answered as she went to unlock and open the door.

Dr. Leland stood with her arms crossed. She looked at her watch and then at Harleen.

"You're late."

"I know. I was just getting some of my notes in order. You know how I like to be extra prepared for the Joker. I must have lost track of time."

"Well, he's in room 12 waiting for you. I suggest you get a move on" Joan said before walking away.

'Bitch' Harleen thought.

The Dr. now walked quickly through the halls of Arkham Asylum trying to gather her thoughts. Why did she have to have such an erotic dream right before her session and even worse about the same patient she was about to treat.

Turning the corner to room 12 she saw the armed guard standing outside.

The guard saw her coming and offered her a smile.

"Good evening Dr. He's all ready for you."

"Thank you John, but you know how I feel about not being here before my patient. Next time maybe you could please wait for me, alright?"

"Sure, sure. No problem" he said dismissively.

Rolling her eyes with a pout Harleen took out her hospital ID badge and held it up to the reader; the little light turned green and she let out a little breath she didn't realize she was holding.

'Here goes nothin' she thought.

There he sat, staring out into space until she took the first step in through the threshold. His head suddenly snapped to look right at her, almost making eye contact. A shiver went through Harleen's body. They had been having sessions together for six months now and while each time was supposed to get easier, it was getting more complicated. The more Harleen learned of the Joker the more intrigued she became. It was obvious from the dream she was just having that things were getting personal.

"Hey there sweetheart, I was beginning to think you stood me up. Or given up" he said with a smile.

Without saying a word Harleen took her seat across the table from The Joker and set up her notepad and tape recorder. She acted like she hadn't heard him; she could not let him get the first words in today, not after what had just happened in her head.

Hitting the record button on the recorder she began to speak "Thursday the 13th of February. This is Dr. Harleen Quinzel sitting in with Patient 4479, aka The Joker, aka Mr. J. How are you feeling today Mr. J?"

Joker shook his head, "Awe sweetheart, still such formalities. I really thought we were moving past all this small talk. If you must know, I'm feeling a little quiet now. I was all set and ready to talk at 4 o'clock, when we were supposed to meet, but now it's almost 4:30 and I'm over it."

'Oh the mind games, he really is so childlike in most ways. Good thing I know how to keep up.'

"I apologize for my lateness. It was rude to keep you waiting. If you do not feel like continuing with the session we can resume at our next appointment if you'd like." Harleen said with a smirk.

This made the Joker turn in his chair a bit. His expression changed from one of playfulness to anger.

"Oh doc, you really are something. We both know it doesn't work like that. I would have thought you'd learn by now not to talk down to me like a fool. I know all about how this place works and I know as well as you do that unless I do something harmful to you we aren't going anywhere for the next 45 minutes. So, and I never thought I'd say this, but let's cut the games and talk. Alright?"

He really was smart, even for a convicted psychopathic criminal; she knew this from their first meeting together. On more than one occasion he has left Harleen questioning if he even belonged in here. Sure his views on the world weren't the same as most people's, but did that mean they were wrong? What if everyone thought the way Joker did? The world would be a different place and the people who enjoyed a non-violent, calm, and sane environment would be the ones locked up behind bars. If everyone were more like the Joker, maybe the world would be a little less tense and enjoyable.

They sat in silence for what seemed like hours while Harleen got lost in her train of thought.

"Yoo hoo sweetheart, we're not getting any saner here."

"Sorry" was all she could say as she snapped herself back to the present situation.

"You seem distracted today doc. Wanna talk about it?" Joker said with a smile.

"No, thank you."

"Have it your way. Anyhoo, since you are in your own world I guess I'll just carry the session along. Any plans for tomorrow? You said today was February 13th, that means tomorrow is the bullshit Hallmark holiday that makes men feel inferior to actors in stupid romance movies. Are you distracted because you're planning out how to spend such a 'special' day? Do you have a Valentine Harley?"

Harley blushed in spite of herself. She couldn't help it when he said her nickname like that.

Shaking her head clear she responded "Is that all you think Valentine's Day is about?"

Joker noticed how quick she moved the topic from herself; he chose to ignore it for now.

"Of course it is! It's one of the biggest unnoticed crimes out there! Can't you see it?"

"Maybe you could explain it to me."

Joker sighed. "It truly is one of the greatest brainwashing tools I've ever seen. I wish I would have come up with it. Take a sinister plan, glue some sparkly red hearts on it, and suddenly it's Holiday!"

"And what's the point of it? What's to gain from this 'brainwashing'?"

"Money. Power. Control. Think about it. What is this Holiday really about doc?"

Harley though for a minute "It's about expressing love for another person in your life, to show them how thankful you are they are around you."

"And that's what they want you to believe! But anyone who thinks they know about love should know that it shouldn't only be on this one day. Yet year after year women cry and bitch about how their deadbeat husbands or boyfriends or fuck buddies forgot to send them a card, or buy them candy, or send them flowers that they don't even really want. Society has accepted this day as one to spend hard earned money on frivolous things that don't mean anything! Companies make billions of dollars off these poor suckers who have no choice but to submit to this idea that things equal love. Fools."

"So are you against love or just Valentine's Day in general?"
"Are you trying to ask me about my love life, doc?"

"Well, since you brought it up, perhaps you'd like to talk about any special women who have been in your life. Or… men, who am I to assume?"

She knew that wasn't the professional thing to say and there was no way of telling how he'd react, but this had become their game. Joker would push her buttons and she would push right back. Most of Harley's peers had called her a quack for her outlandish ways of dealing with Gotham's most notorious and dangerous criminal; they knew nothing. The progress that was made to get to this point was leaps and bounds from their first session. While the conversations and tactics where nothing like she'd studied, it was working. Joker would let his guard down at times to revile key information that could ultimately lead to his being sane. Harley had to believe this was the goal of his therapy; otherwise her whole reason for coming to Arkham was a lie.

"Only interested in women my dear, sorry to burst your bubble of perversion. But maybe you could answer my question now… Do you have a Valentine?"

"You know I'm not going to tell you things like that Mr. J. No matter how many times you try" Harley replied with another blush.

"That means no."

"No, it does not!"

"So you do?"

"I, I'm not having this discussion with you Mr. J"

Joker shook his head with a smile "It's a no" before Harleen could interrupt he continued. "Shame toots, you're not too bad to look at. Hell if I wasn't in here I might even try to win you over with overpriced crap."

"Really?"

Only when the Joker cocked his head did Harley realize she said that out loud.