December 23rd 2014

Christmas historically was not Gail's favourite time of year. For the past 2 years however it had become her favourite Holiday, in large part owing to Holly's contagious excitement for the day. The Brunette put up their tree a month before the actual day and their home became a sense overloading mixture of lights, Carols, Christmas characters and Christmas themed food. If it were for anyone else Gail would have despised it, but since it was for Holly Gail only found herself loving it. Her Girlfriend practically vibrated through the whole month, chirping Gail's ear off about what they had to get and where they had to be and most importantly, according to Gail at least, what they were going to eat on the big day. That was something she could always get with, food had long been a love of Gail's and if nothing else Christmas had provided her with an excuse to eat entirely too much of it.

Whilst Gail had never reached the excitement levels of Holly, she had found herself looking forward to each Christmas she spent with her, seei ng Holly happy made her happy and that's why it had become her favourite Holiday. It was also why she was dreading the arrival of the day this year, there would be no Holly, no happiness, no excitement. Gail had wanted to revert back to the Grinch, perhaps even work for the day and ignore the holiday entirely, her mother however had not let that happen. Whilst Gail had always dodged Peck family Christmas dinners since she hit adulthood Holly had always insisted that they attend, something about cherishing time spent with family. As such Elaine had gotten used to her daughter presence for the last couple of years and let Gail know, in no uncertain terms, that her presence would be expected. When the blonde had tried to use the work excuse Elaine assured her that she would be able to get her out of it, her mother was expecting gratitude, she received none.

Now Gail was facing the very real crisis of having to buy Christmas presents for her entire family 2 days out from the big day. She was stuck in capitalist hell. The stock was running out and people everywhere were having shouting matches with the store attendants as if there was nothing more important in the world than getting that particular Barbie dance and Spin Ballerina. This is why she usually sent Holly out to do the shopping though to be fair if Holly were still here the shopping would have been completed weeks ago.

Gail looked around as she tried to locate the video games in the department store, Leo would be coming for dinner this year and she wanted to get him a PS4 as a suprise. She doubted Tracy would be happy with the gift but Leo had always enjoyed playing on the console with her and it was about time he had his first gaming console to call his own. The department store was a hive of activity, with people hustling everywhere to get what they needed. The pristine white tiled floors only served as a mirror reflecting the decorations and lights so that everything seemed too bright and too colourful. Everywhere she looked Santa's face seemed to be taunting her, a stark reminder that this Holiday was fast approaching. The carollers' outside had just started a rather off-key version of All I want for Christmas and Gail thought she would rather be anywhere else in this moment.

"Ma'am can I help you"

"Excuse me", the rather spotty teenage shop assistant had shocked her out of her scathing assessment of the store.

"Well you are police right, is there a problem?" Gail had hurried to the store straight from work, not even bothering to change. She had been hoping that the uniform might scare some of the other shoppers away helping her achieve her task more efficiently.

"Yes actually I have an emergency"

The young boy visibly gulped "that fight before got sorted out legally I swear, it was just two people having a disagreement over the last water gun, I didn't allow any of them to have it"

It was almost endearing "calm down kid, it's nothing to do with that, the emergency is that I have a desperate need for a PS4 and I hate people so..."

The kid stared at her blankly so Gail continued "I particularly hate Christmas shoppers and I have no real desire to fight my way to the video games section"

"Oh right" the kid said catching on "I will check if we have any out the back for you" being Police certainly did have its advantages, luckily Gail used her powers for good most of the time. She sent the kid off to look for the console with a couple of game requests while she stayed out if the way avoiding any and all human contact. The kid quickly scurried back with everything as requested and Gail made sure to tip him, she wasn't all bad, before making a swift exit from the store to locate the next item of her list. It was going to be a long night.

December 25th 2014

The sudden blast of her phone jarred Gail out of her restless sleep, somehow managing to whack her head on the headboard whilst she located her phone.

"Hello" she drowsily drawled down the phone whilst rubbing her sure to be bruised head

"Good you're up, we have had a call from you brother and Leo has already opened all of his presents so they will be here in about an hour. We will be serving dinner around 1 but please try and get here at the same time as them"

"Good morning mother"

"And make sure you are wearing something nice Gail, remember the photograph last year" her mother hired a photographer for Christmas every year, it wasn't that she was wearing something horrible last year, just that she had managed to spill gravy all down herself before the photographer arrived. Holly had tried to hide the stain with her arm but to no avail, the brown smudge on Gail's white dress stuck out like a sore thumb. Gail took a twisted pleasure from it.

"Yes Mother"

"Ok well we will see you in an hour then" and just like that she was gone.

"Merry Christmas to you too" Gail muttered under her breath even though there was nobody around to hear it. Waking up alone on Christmas morning was not the nicest thing to do to say the least. Waking up alone in an undecorated home after recently being dumped by the love of your life was pretty much excruciating.

Gail dragged herself up and into the shower faintly recognising the excited squeals from the children outside as they played with their new toys. He blonde looked at herself in the mirror noting the damaging effect the lead up to this holiday, and the lack of sleep that it had caused, had had on her appearance. She looked like shit on a day that she very much could not afford to look like shit, her mother would never let he live it down. One hour may not be enough to rescue her.

As it turned out one hour was plenty enough, Gail wasn't vain but she knew that as physical features went she had pretty good ones. A shower and moisturiser was enough to bounce back before the make-up and plain, but very tight, long sleeved black dress were slapped on. She also pulled on a painfully dorky Christmas jumper, snickering at the reaction her mother would likely have. She arrived to her parent's house feeling as good as it was going to get for her at this particular moment in time. Grabbing her sack full of presents out of her car she scurried into the home away from the cold not bothering to knock.

"Hello"

"We are all in here darling, by the fire" her mother called out. She had arrived after Steve and Tracy which is how she had planned it all along. Alone time with her parents was not something Gail wanted to have too much of.

Sure enough the five of them were all seated in the lounge by the fire as Leo showed off some of his new toys. Her mother was the first one to spot her arrival,

"Gail honey, what is that atrocious thing you are wearing" she exclaimed as Steve snickered in the background and Tracy fought to maintain a straight face for fear of getting on the bad side of the potential in laws. Leo laughed out loud causing Gail to burst out laughing with him.

"It's a Christmas jumper mother, I am trying to get in the spirit" she wheezed out through her laughs

"I told you we have the photographer coming, actually he will be here any second"

Gail was almost tempted to act like she was going to wear the jumper for the photo but eventually she relented "Relax I have a dress on under this".

What Gail had not accounted for was the fluff that would be stuck to her black dress from her brand new jumper, she looked like she had just rolled around on a floor covered in cat hair. Needless to say her mother wasn't impressed but the photo had to go on.

The photo itself was painful in its set-up, for some reason the photographer had decided that it would be great to split them off into Family groups. Tracy and Steve sat off to the left with Leo perched on Steve's knee, Her mother and father were in the middle, her Mother standing over them all like the matriarch she always wanted to be. Gail was perched off to the right like the uncle that no one really wanted to be there but had to invite anyway. Very rarely in her life had she felt more alone, she usually had Holly whispering encouragement in her ear as she snarked through the whole shoot. Today she was clutching a pillow awkwardly in her hand like she was auctioning it off because the photographer felt like the picture was too imbalanced and something was needed to even her side out. What a way to rub it in.

After the contender for most awkward family shoot in history was wrapped up the present exchange began. Gail was actually somewhat looking forward to it, feeling she had nailed her choices this year despite purchasing everything except for her mother's present just a day and a half ago. Receiving presents never excited her too much, but her Grinch heart did melt slightly when other people received theirs. Gail had manoeuvred herself so that she was the last one to hand out her gifts. As the gifts were handed out she took notice of Leo's excited reactions, Christmas was always all about children in her mind and she had to admit having the young boy there did make the Holiday slightly more bearable. For her part Gail was quite happy with the one month burger joint voucher she had received from Steve and Tracy and even her parents had done okay with a very nice silver necklace that she put on immediately to appease them.

"Ok Aunt Gail your turn!" Leo exclaimed as he bounced around awaiting his next present.

"Ok kiddo, I'm not too sure that your mum's going to like this very much but since it is from me she will have to put up with it" Tracy gave her a quizzical look as she handed Leo the giant box.

Leo started tearing into the makeshift wrapping job immediately and it wasn't long before he was squealing in excitement and running over to give her a hug.

"Thanks Gail, this is amazing all my friends only have the PS3!"

"No problems kid, you will have to have them all over the play" she exclaimed before mouthing a sorry in Tracy's direction. Tracy just laughed it off, apparently she was quite ok with the present.

"Ok my turn" Steve shouted trying to wrestle the attention back onto his self

"Jesus Steve how old are you, this holiday isn't about you"

"Shut it and give me my present garbage pail Gail"

"With that attitude I won't"

"Just give him the present Gail" her father put an end to the two bickering.

"Fine" Gail obnoxiously stated whilst she shoved Steve's present into his hand "It's to share with Tracy so don't hog Steve"

Her brother just stuck his tongue out before carefully unwrapping the present with Tracy.

"It's one of those red sparkly boxed you can buy for $2 in target" Steve stated sarcastically

"Yep and if you keep acting like that I will take away what is inside the box"

Tracy had already opened the box and was reading over the vouchers, "this is awesome Gail!"

"What is it" Steve exclaimed whilst trying to worm his head around to read the voucher.

"It's a weekend away at the Niagara falls"

"I know you mentioned that you were never able to go Trace and I will have Leo so there will be no issues there"

"Thank you, this is great"

"Yeah thanks Garbage Pail... honestly though thanks"

She smiled at them happy that they were happy with her gift. Now came the more difficult people, her parent's. Her Dad was generally ok, though you never knew exactly whether he liked something or not as he wasn't one to show emotion. The thanks she got when she handed over the expensive scotch was about all she was expecting. Her mother would be more difficult.

The room seemed to stop and she handed Elaine her present, her mother had been happy with her presents the two years previous but Holly had purchased those and everyone knew it. Gail wasn't sure whether she had ever managed to get her mother something that she hadn't in turn re-gifted however if this year's present wasn't a winner then she wasn't sure that she would ever get something Elaine liked.

Her mother unwrapped the present painfully slowly, Gail had taken extra care to make sure the wrapping was nice, the need to please her mother taking over. When the present was finally unwrapped her mother was speechless. Sat in her hands was a frame displaying 3 framed police badges, those of Elaine's Grandfather, her father and her very own badge that she had first used as a rookie. Underneath those was her Grandfather's old school revolver with his name engraved in it and sitting on the frame, skilfully engraved on a silver plate were the word, Congratulations on ten years superintendent. Gail had remembered that her mother became superintendent exactly 10 years ago on the 18th of December, and despite all the annoyance that it had cause her she was proud of her mother. Positions like that weren't offered to women very often and Elaine had worked hard to earn it. Gail didn't think that anyone else had remembered the milestone due to the proximity to Christmas so she wanted to acknowledge it in some way and calling back to the families rich policing history was always a good idea when it came to Elaine. Elaine's Grandfather whom Gail had never met was by all accounts a formidable officer and later inspector who had Elaine had always wanted to emulate. She had done one better, she was superintendent.

"Gail this is ..." Her mother, for perhaps the first time in her life was lost for words,

"If you don't like it the guy who framed it did say that he can do something else with it"

"No it's um .." Gail swore she saw a tear come out of her mother's eye "ok everyone lets go to the table I'm sure the caterers are ready by now" and just like that the moment was over.

The caterers, as usual, did a good job with dinner. The amount of food laid out on the table was enough to feed a small army let alone the 6 of them. The atmosphere was strange however though Gail didn't expect anything less. She mostly kept quiet trying to keep her thoughts from wondering to Holly whilst Leo, Steve, Tracy and her Father chatted amongst themselves. Luckily no one had mentioned the brunette otherwise Gail was not sure she would be able to keep up her brave facade. The more alcohol she consumed the more depressed she got though she was trying to hide it so that she didn't ruin the day for everyone else. What Gail did not expect was the silence of her mother who was usually in every conversation all at once whilst still managing to pick up on Gail's bad eating habits. Instead she was staring mostly into space or playing with her food, Gail probably would have said something if she wasn't so caught up in her own emotions.

After dinner everyone parted for the traditional mid afternoon nap before celebrations started back up again in the evening. Gail, who was a little drunk at this point, staggered up the stairs into her old bedroom plonking herself down on the single bed that still occupied the room. She always felt like a kid again when she was back here and the single bed did not help matters. Holly and her did have fun though trying to squeeze into it for the past two years. Suddenly there was a knock at the door that she wasn't expecting.

"Gail" Her mother called through the thick wood of the door

Gaily quickly sat up straight on the bed before calling for her mother to come in. Elaine made her way silently over to the bed perching herself next to Gail making sure to leave a little bit of space between them.

"Was dinner satisfying?" Gail sensed that this was not really the conversation Elaine wanted to have.

"Yeah it was, though all food is satisfying to me" Her mother chuckled, actually chuckled.

"I just wanted to say thank you for the present" Her mother stated softly as if she were scared to say it any louder.

"You aren't going to return it then?"

"No of course not ... I didn't think anyone had remembered"

"Well it was hard not to remember that four hour induction ceremony we had to sit through" this wasn't really the time for jokes but Gail couldn't help it, she hadn't had a heartfelt conversation with her mother in years. Taking a deep breath she tried again,

"I'm proud of you, I know how hard you worked to get there so I thought it would be nice to honour that in some way"

"That should be reversed you know"

"Huh?" Gail wasn't following

"I should be proud of you"

"Yeah well I haven't done a lot for you to be proud of"

"Oh honey don't be ridiculous" Her mother exclaimed whilst wrapping her arm around Gail "I am proud of you every day, you are a kind and compassionate person and you go out on that street every day despite what happened to you, I wouldn't have been able to cope if that had happened to me undercover"

"Believe me, I don't cope very well" Gail huffed

"But most of all I am proud of the person you have become, you are strong and brave you have been able to live honestly and openly and with pride. I know I don't tell you enough Gail, and that I get on you about your career but I am proud of you. Maybe I need to tell you that more huh?"

"It wouldn't hurt" Gail sniffled, tears coming to her eyes.

"Gail honey, I am sorry about Holly" and as Gail looked into her mother's eyes she could see that she truly meant it. The two had never talked about Holly after she left, she just sat there like the big elephant in the room. Her mother had always liked Holly, no doubt her degrees and achievements impressing her.

Gail nodded tears now falling freely down her face, "I know you think she was good for me"

"Honey you were good together, you were as good for her as she was for you"

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about her all day"

"She did like this Holiday" her mother chuckled

"Like it! She loved it way too much, she approached Chloe level's of excitement, she lived and breathed it and it was all she would talk about ... usually I would find that annoying but I loved every second of it"

"Because you loved her"

Gail stubbornly wiped some tears from her face, "I don't know what I am going to do mum" she whimpered as she buried her face into her mother's chest like she was in fact a kid again.

"You will get through this, I know it doesn't seem like it now but you will"

"How do you know that?" Gail spat out, right now it didn't seem like there was any way through this, as soon as she felt like she might be ok something like this holiday came and hit her in the face.

"Because weren't you listening to me before, you are strong and brave and If I know one thing about you it is that you are resilient"

That was true but for now Gail didn't want to be strong and she didn't want to be resilient she wanted to sit on her bed while her mother held her and told her it was going to be okay. And so she did.

"I do want to change one think about that present though"

"ugh what mother"

"Well I'm sure we can find an old badge of yours lying around, it would be nice to have that in there also"

Ok so I know it has been a long whilst since I have updated and I don't know if anyone is still even interested in this story but here it is if anyone wants to read it. I am going to start trying to update semi-regularly again to hopefully finish this. So sad about Rookie Blue coming to an end though and Gail and Holly not getting the send off they deserved!