AN: This story can also be found on AO3 under the same title!

"Watch it!"

Merlin was in no mood for this kind of shit. Usually he was a pretty nice person, or at least was nice to other people regardless of how he truly felt, but today he was in no state to be nice. So when he replied, "So sorry, your highness." it was in a voice filled with venom instead of the sarcasm it usually would be.

"I don't know you." The voice was far too chipper in reply to Merlin's foul words. Well, perhaps not chipper, but inquisitive. Let's be honest, any reply in any tone was enough to annoy Merlin at this point.

Merlin stopped in his tracks and turned, coming face-to-face with a blond. Merlin resisted the urge to punch him in his pretty mouth... which seriously was pretty, so pretty it was actually a little infuriating. Merlin collectively rolled his eyes at his thoughts and at the guy standing in front of him. "Keen observation. Now I'll be going." Merlin spun back around and took a step forward.

"Hold up, cheekbones." Merlin was going to hit this bloke, his fuse was burned down pretty low already.

He turned around more slowly this time. "Cheekbones?" People usually went for the ears. "You likin' 'em?"

The guy was silent for a few, stretching seconds, making Merlin think he'd set off the homophobe bomb, but then the guy just sort of smiled and said, "They're something to behold."

That was enough indulging. "Did you just want to sarcastically compliment me or do you actually want something?"

"I know everyone." Yes, thank you pretty boy, that completely excuses you from the wrath I am containing.

"One of the perks of going to such a small school I imagine," Merlin grumbled back. "Fantastic."

"So you're new here." Stop trying to make conversation happen, it's not going to happen.

"Unfortunately. Can I go now? I have a class I don't want to go to in some building I can't pronounce."

The guy stared at him for a moment, not saying anything. As soon as he made a move to speak again Merlin just said "Nope." and turned and walked away quickly.

Merlin made it inside the school before he had the distinct and unquestionable feeling that someone was following him. He stopped and pivoted around quickly. Sure enough, it was the blond.

"You getting a nice view of my ass back there, pretty boy?"

After a beat of silence he replied, "Now that you mention it..." his eyes racked over Merlin's body. "How the hell did you get yourself into those jeans? They're very... tight."

"Squeezing into tight spaces is a specialty of mine."

The boy's eyes widened. "Are you coming onto me?"

"I'd never come onto someone who could be such an ass."

"Then I feel the need to inform you that you speak in sexual innuendos."

"I had no idea," Merlin replied sarcastically. "So why the hell are you following me, blondie? Thought I made it pretty clear I wasn't interested."

"I wasn't following you. Unfortunately, I think we're going to the same place."

"Fan-fucking-tastic."

The blond snatched Merlin's schedule from his fingers and scanned it. Instead of complaining Merlin just took in his stupidly attractive... everything.

"Yup. Follow me, Captain Tightpants."

"Did you just..." but he had already begun walking ahead. He wanted to hit this guy, Firefly fan or not, he wanted to deck him. But... well, butt. He had a nice one. He had a nice everything, the bastard. Merlin made sure to follow him because he really didn't know where he was going, and the jerk had taken Merlin's schedule (the only copy he had on him). It seemed to take way too long for them to reach a doorway, which the blond stood at holding Merlin's schedule out waiting for him to catch up so he could take it. Merlin snatched it from him as he walked by and snidely remarked, "Nice ass, blondie."

He actually chuckled and responded, "The name's Arthur, cheekbones." He followed him into the room and looked expectantly at Merlin.

Merlin sat at an empty desk and looked up at him blankly. "You can just call me cheekbones, blondie."

"I'm going to find out your name one way or another."

"I'm sure you will, but it won't be from me. And doesn't that just burn a hole right in your mental parachute?"

"Consider my bells no longer harmonious."

Merlin ground his teeth. Dammit, he couldn't resist a fellow fan. "It's Merlin. Now can you please go be stupidly attractive and smug somewhere else?"

"Arthur and Merlin." He bowed. "Our destines are entwined, great warlock."

"You're doing this thing where everything you say makes me hate you less but want to punch you in the face more."

"It's a specialty of mine."

"Think you can leave me alone now?"

"Sorry, I can't." Arthur sat down in the desk directly beside Merlin and turned to face him. "See, the Professor is going to come in here any minute and tell me to get the new kid caught up, seeing as how you're coming into the class halfway through."

"And why must it be your responsibility to get me caught up?"

"I'm valedictorian." He shrugged like it meant nothing. "They're always making me do shit like this." Merlin wanted to tell him he wouldn't be valedictorian for long, now that Merlin was there, but even through his cloud of anger he heard just how rude and narcissistic it would sound.

Just then an old man bustled into the room and said "Pendragon, we've got a new- Oh, you've already got a handle on him. Excellent. Get him caught up." The old man looked at Merlin then and said, "Call me Gaius, everyone does." He went back to bustling about at the front of the room.

Merlin looked back to Arthur. "Did he just call you-" Arthur just looked at him blankly. "Fuck me sideways."

"You know, you're the first person in a long time to hate me before knowing who my father is."

"So, it is Pendragon as in Uther Pendragon, the guy that owns and runs Camelot Academy, the place we are right now?"

He shrugged.

"Your father is an asshole."

Arthur just stared at him, looking surprised.

"Sorry."

"No, continue. Seriously, I'd love to hear this story. You sound like you have a genuine reason to hate him, most people don't, or just think they do." Merlin could hear the unspoken, No one hates him as much as I do, in Arthur's words. Merlin was a little surprised, but not that surprised. Merlin figured if anyone would understand his frustrations with Uther Pendragon then, yeah, it would be the man's own son.

"Your damn father is the reason I'm stuck here." Merlin huffed, just getting started. "I was set to graduate at the end of my fall semester and then my dad died unexpectedly and I had to move back in with my mom." Merlin was moving his hands along with his dialogue, as if it contributed more detail to his rambling. "Your asshole father pulled strings to get me enrolled here to pull up the score averages or some shit and now I'm stuck here for another semester on some fucking technicality that your father wrote up to keep me here long enough to affect the school image or some shit," he finished in a rush.

Arthur took it all in stride and replied, "Sorry about your dad... and sorry about my own."

Merlin sighed. "Don't worry about it, I hardly knew him." Arthur gave him a questioning look. "I moved in with him to go to a better school, we didn't know each other long and didn't have much time to get close. And the actions of your father aren't for you to apologize for."

Arthur looked surprised, Merlin wasn't sure what he had said that warranted such a response. "You couldn't just stay there and finish up the semester?"

"My only other family is my mom and she couldn't stay with me or she'd lose her job. And I couldn't stay on my own, too young."

"How old are you?"

Merlin looked a little offended. "How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen."

Merlin shifted, feeling uncomfortable. "Fifteen."

"You were set to graduate at fifteen?" Arthur sounded impressed. "How many grades did you skip?"

"Only the boring ones."

"So you're some kind of genius then? Set to graduate at fifteen. My father pulled strings to get you here. Not worried about getting caught up in classes you're coming into halfway through. Plus you've got that look."

"What look?"

"That little gleam in your eye that says you know you're the smartest person in the room."

"I didn't know I had a look."

"You have a look. It goes pretty well with your other look."

"What look is that?"

"Your whole..." he waved his hand, indicating all of Merlin, "gay goth thing."

"Gay goth... catchy, sounds like a superhero. Guess that would make you my sidekick preppy prat."

"So you're not denying it then?"

Merlin was confused for a moment before realizing what Arthur must be referring to. "Sorry, I forgot I should deny being attracted to a person's personality over their gender in order to avoid making you feel uncomfortable."

There was an uncomfortable amount of silence.

"Is there a reason you're staring at me?" Homophobe bomb detonating in 3, 2-

"There's something about you, Merlin. I can't quite put my finger on it." Maybe the bomb wasn't going to go off after all...

REFERENCES

and always the twain shall meet -play on Rudyard Kipling

"Stop trying to make conversation happen, it's not going to happen." -play on Mean Girls "Stop trying to make fetch happen, it's not going to happen."

"Captain Tightpants" -Firefly

"burn a hole right in your mental parachute" and "Consider my bells no longer harmonious." -play on Olan Rogers (makes Youtube videos and has a Fandango show called ADMIT ONE)

goth Merlin -100% reference to Colin's role as Jethro on Doctor Who

"That little gleam in your eye that says you know you're the smartest person in the room." -not exactly a reference but it was inspired by Now You See Me, particularly that look Atlas had throughout his entire interrogation and then of course when he says "Always be the smartest guy in the room."