Disclaimer – You will die alone. Also, Evangelion.

-XXX-

This was odd. He spoke in half-awareness, unable to orientate or move.

It took him a brief moment to realize that some kind of shaggy tunic was covering his head and blocking his view. There was also something binding him to some metal contraption, or at least he guessed so. There was no real way of knowing.

He could sense the presence of people around him. He was not alone. There was no telling of how many were there, and for what purpose. He remained silent and listened. He could her their chatters, their marching, falling in line and preparing all the necessary equipment.

Ah, he remembered it then. And he didn't even feel surprised. It seemed like a more… natural kind of conclusion, given the circumstances.

He took a deep breath. Closed his eyes and relaxed.

This is not the end.

His mask was soon taken off and he could see three unfamiliar faces, definitely soldiers, in their final moments of preparation, almost ready to carry out the deed. For his surprise, Second Child was also there, somewhere in the back, observing, keeping her distance. With her head bowed, her cap covered her face, denying him the final glance.

Hah, no matter. He didn't even feel like observing, or catching someone else's glance. He failed. It makes no difference now.

It never really did. He could admit it to himself now.

After all was said and done he was still unchanged. The impact, all the people. They were all just names he will never know… he could only care for ones he once knew in flesh, but even that slowly faded. Time passes and emotions fade and crumble… leaving him with nothing but memories of no relevance. He couldn't fight it after all this time, even after trying to deny it for so long. But he was certain now, and there was no denying it. Deep down, in the lowest parts of oneself, he could only care and breathe for just one, himself.

Maybe someone like that should be gone.

Feeling all sorts of emotion, but none that would make him act or speak, he closed his eyes.

He was ready.

-XXX-

Sakura Suzuhara was displeased. Angrily marching through the hall, she carried two cups of coffee for her superiors.

It would be great if someone took her seriously from time to time. She was a soldier, legitimate part of Wille crew, not an errand girl. She can admit she has a fairly limited skills, but just about any job would be better than this.

Fetch the papers, bring me some coffee, do this, carry that.

Ughh.

And the worst part was that they still thought of her as a child, even though she spend all of her life on board, assisting the goals of Wille. Well, truth be told, she was still 17… not exactly a full-fledged, mature woman or officer, and she didn't exactly contribute a whole lot… but good wishes counted. Probably.

Sakura finally reached the meeting room, then slowly opened the doors and sneaked inside.

Discussions were raging on all sides. She noticed admiral Misato was sitting on the front of the desk in silence, and the rest were preoccupied with discussion about… well she didn't really understand, but they were so into in that almost no one noticed her presence. She head they mentioned rations, shortage, NERV and such. Important stuff.

She got behind her superior and slowly placed her cup of coffee in front of her.

"Thanks, honey," Ritsuko told her silently. "You are God-given."

"Thank you, sir," Sakura whispered.

"Kids are taking everything too seriously nowadays," Ritsuko grumbled, idly taking a sip.

Sakura's face fell as she observed her superior as she closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. She couldn't even tell if she was on duty, or just using this as an excuse to get away from her duties. Either way, she was completely ignoring the meeting.

Sakura leaned a bit closer. "B-but mam… these are some pressing issues. You should pay more attention."

Ritsuko almost spilled her coffee form urge to giggle.

"Nonsense, dear," Ritsuko whispered. She put her coffee on her table and pulled her chair away from the meeting table. "Do you want me to teach you a thing or two about politics around here?"

Umm. Yeah. She nodded.

"Good," Ritsuko continued in her low voice, "You see, no matter what others say right now is completely irrelevant, because at the end of the day Admiral will make the decision and everyone will go along with it. Do you understand now?"

Oh… well, that was a bit…

"But then what's the point of this meeting?" Sakura asked, still confused.

Ritsuko shrugged. "Beats me," she whispered, then look around herself to see if anyone was eavesdropping, "this is as good as any free time I get. A bit too noisy perhaps."

Sakura was still blinking in confusion. That face of undying curiosity…

Ritsuko sighed, then looked around herself once more. "I really shouldn't tell you this… but… can you keep a secret."

Sakura nodded instantly.

"Fine. You're a bright girl so I hope you'll understand," She told her. "There really is no point in including half of these people into decision making. You see, people need some sense of importance, and sometimes certain individuals have an interesting perspective we could consider…"

An abrupt voice of one person interrupted their conversation. Kohji Takao, or something, Ritsuko guessed. Typical.

"We should scramble everything we got and strike directly at NERV!" He shouted. And his statement was followed by even bigger uproar of arguments.

"… and as you can see, it's a rare case. Sometimes it's just this bad," Ritsuko continued. "To make it simpler, no matter how stupid it may seem, there's a lot of like-minded people behind everyone here, and sometimes there's awfully lot of like-minded people. It's a good thing to note that Wille crew is not constructed of most brilliant of human minds… it's impossible to be picky with this much people left in existence, and generally speaking human intelligence in average is… "

Damn I miss working with Maya.

"I-I think I understand," Sakura said. Not exactly in good spirits.

"That's all I have to say for now," Ritsuko said, taking another sip of her coffee. "You'll get it as you go, but it's not something that should concern you right now."

"Yes, mam," Sakura whispered. Lack of her usual enthusiasm was apparent.

Ritsuko just continued with her coffee. It's a long way, she knew. She'll get there eventually. Little Miss Sakura was one of the rare reason she had a little bit more faith into future of Wille. And her coffee… it gets better and better each time.

"And you still keep silent about the Third," Someone said out loud.

And not soon after many more joined in. And at the end it seemed just about everyone beside three or four people present were directing their questions and suggestion at the woman in charge.

Ritsuko averted her gaze from her coffee. Oh boy.

And then their Commander finally spoke. "Information about Third are classified." She told them, instantly killing the commotion. "And until we solve more pressing issues we'll leave it at that. I've already decided the manner of dealing with him. He will be punished, rest assured. And that's all there is to it."

Ritsuko noticed few silent chatters and overheard some mutters, but that was about it. Some were about to protest, but knew better.

Amusing. Ruling was a tricky thing, but it seems her old friend still got it. But how long will it take….

Ritsuko suddenly noticed Sakura was pretty quiet for the last minute or so. She looked behind and realized the girl was nowhere in sights.

She shrugged it off and continued with her coffee. Teenagers.

-XXX-

Shinji didn't know what time it was, or when exactly he woke up.

He only knew that nothing changed, and that no one cared. His cell was still the same. The smell was still the same. His bed was still the same.

And he still felt terrible. His head was splitting apart until recently, and there was no one to turn to. No one to help him. That was how things worked right now. Shinji was alone.

So he just sat there, on his bed, not being unable to do anything. He felt confused, sad, unmotivated, and most of all, he felt trapped and lonely. It was only him, surrounded by these walls with no one but himself, a company that became even more tiresome.

As the time went the strangest ideas popped inside his head. Maybe only "fun" he really had was re-imagining the events that happened, altering them in some ways, then living through happier outcomes. It was maybe all he did recently. And his imagination wasn't the richest one, he knew. So he would continue with already established worlds, just working on the details and re-living them again.

Pathetic, perhaps. Even more knowing how even his imagination can get… out of hand.

Ehh.

He had done worse, if anything.

And not long after, his monotony was interrupted by a sound of footsteps getting louder and lauder. Someone was approaching. It could be more food, he thought. Food sounded better than anything right now.

He finally got up from his position he maintained for unknown period, and slowly walked up to the doors.

But instead of plate with minimal amount of food he usually got through the small opening, the doors opened and two soldiers walked inside.

"Come with us," They told him.

-XXX-

"Take this," one of the soldiers told him.

A mop. Shinji wondered as he took it.

"And this."

And a bucket?

"It's currently 14:00. We'll be back in three or four hours to pick you up." soldier instructed, "make it spotless."

With that they both left him alone in what seemed like one really big hallway, with a lot of branches that lead elsewhere. From his perspective he couldn't even see the end of it.

"I-I'll do it," He told them. But the men didn't seem to care even a bit. They continued to back away further and further until they were out of sight.

Shinji sighed. Sometimes he just felt downright stupid.

But hey… this was something. At least he had something to do now. Cleaning. Huh. Joke's on them, because Shinji perfected the art of cleaning. In fact, one of the first thing he did in his cell was cleaning… These kind of things just always fall on him.

Shinji sighed again. This was a long, long hallway.

"Well, well, well." He could hear a voice behind him. It scared him so much he accidentally dropped his mop. The sound of impact passed through the air.

"A-Asuka, how long were you there?"

"Long enough to see you're already slacking." She told him, hands in her pockets.

"B-but I-"

"-Shut up. No one cares." She interrupted.

He offered a sheepish smile, then picked up his mop.

"It's almost funny. You, condemned to cleaning even after all this time," She told him. "Once useless, always useless."

He had nothing to say to that.

"And spineless, on top of everything," She added.

"Anything else?" He asked her, a bit annoyed.

"No, not really. I was just passing and happened to see princess was out of her cell, looking a bit more alive than yesterday."

"O-oh… so you've visited while I was… um…"

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Third." She told him, and she looked like she was serious. "I just happened to walk by and see you looking dead. So I figured I could enjoy the display a bit."

Yup, that seems accurate.

"I don't know why they picked this part, though." She wondered out loud. "Not many residents around here."

And then something came to mind. "Ah, never mind."

She smiled so slightly then walked away. "See you around, Thrid. Get to work."

Shinji just observed, perplexed. He waved slowly, but Asuka already turned her back to him and didn't seem to care. Ehh.

Well, that was odd. But she was right, he should definitely start.

And then he heard yet another sound of footsteps. This one with really fast pace. The moment he turned the unknown figure was already behind him. Its speed scared him.

"You!" She almost screamed, pointing a finger at him.

"M-miss Sakura," He stammered. The girl remained unresponsive, panting on the spot and trying to catch her breath. He quickly turned around just to be sure she was addressing him. "Umm, hy."

"You seem in a hurry… can I help you with anything?" Shinji asked, giving her time to recover.

"N-no. I mean… umm. Yes."

"Ermm…"

She managed to regain her composure. "I didn't know you were here. I mean, I wanted to apologize for…" She wasn't exactly sure how to finish her sentence.

"I-it's fine… you don't have to apologize for that, especially not to me," Shinji told her, "I'm not sure what that was exactly, b-but it's definitely not your fault."

"But I feel like I someone triggered it… whatever it is," She protested, then bowed. "I'm sorry regardless."

Shinji was taken aback by that. "It's fine, really. I'm better now. See."

Well, he was moving and speaking. But seeing his snow pale skin and circles around his eyes couldn't fool anyone. He didn't look healthy.

"I guess," She replied with masked doubts.

"You were rushing somewhere?" He asked her again.

"N-no. It's just that I live here, in this residence, over there, somewhere, and my um- coffee is boiling. Important duty. Serious business."

"Oh. Then you should hurry." He told her.

Seriously? Sakura exhaled. Fine, no need to make this even more inconvenient. "Y-yeah, I guess I should."

She was about to go but he interrupted. "A-and about all that… umm… I can still tell you more about your brother, i-if you want."

Sakura blinked. She was about to speak but was interrupted again.

"And don't worry about… erm… it's just because I remember things… it happens regardless of what I do. I can't help it, but I want to complete my end of the bargain."

She paused. "If you think it's fine, then sure. I'd love to."

"You can visit me… anytime really… I doubt I'll go anywhere."

She knew she wasn't supposed to find the last part funny, but she kept her cool regardless. "Okay. But if I see a smallest hint of your condition getting worse then we call it quits. Understood?"

"Uhh… okay."

With that, she went away. Relived.

Shinji once again waved upon departure, and this time it was different. She turned, waved and smiled.

He remained there, looking at her until she got away from sight. This sure felt… better.

Regardless, he had a job to do. A lot of it actually. And he lost quite a bit of time. He prepared his mop and finally started.

It wasn't so bad. Definitely better than nothing, he admitted to himself after a while.

Not knowing when, he started to whistle.

-XXX-

His fingers gently pressed the keys, filling the otherwise forlorn place with joyous melody for no one in particular. Being a victim of habit, he never got tired of repeating the same old melodies over and over. He felt like his methods were perfected, immaculate even.

He found piano as a perfect expressive method; one of the best things Lilin culture had to offer. Day after day, investing just a little bit of effort in it made the passing time cathartic and fulfilling. It was art. For some maybe life.

But even perfected as it was, it was still lacking. It was not the same, not when he discovered the beauty of sharing, making another feel the joy of his creation – a resonance of even purer form. A dynamic between the creator and the audience. That, he could never accomplish alone.

His visitor was not here.

Their reconciliation was fated, he knew. Even if it took longer than he expected, it would happen. And he could wait for just this long. Not because he wasn't patient – far from that – but because he could sense his barriers shattered, lying so idly and alone, like a perfect raw material. And then all of a sudden another factor appeared. One that could create an even bigger disaster.

He needed him the most, and he needed him as well. If he waited any longer, his design would fail.

And then he stopped, interrupted.

A scenery of pursuer drones shaded everything below them as they ascended from the NERV's base. Nemesis series. There were so many, and this was only the beginning of them. It was time, he knew. And he was curious how it would unfold this time.

Smile was all over his face. He got up and walked away from the piano, in the direction of another peculiar creation.

He walked through the hallways, bypassing all ruined pats without destination or use, deeper and deeper into the base. NERV was monumental in every form, even in its state of ruination. It was once a pinnacle of Lilin's creation and struggle, now reduced to ruins and loneliness. Fitting, perhaps. Big rewards usually came with big risks, but nothing came without effort and sacrifices. None knew that better than him, creation that lives on a frail hope through countless courses of trial and error for the same reason all of Lilin do. Well, maybe.

He could see her now. She was climbing into her unit and preparing for the departure. His presence didn't disturb her even the slightest. He could never tell if she was that way on purpose, or is it just something that was carved in stones.

Well, she sure was a strange creation. Very similar to him, yet completely different. Her heart was chained to one man, her duty was to everyone, and no matter when or where, that bond would always put her in the same place. And then there was he, the only truly free creature in the universe, also bound to this same, repetitive scenario, for no one but himself… or rather… someone, and everyone. Sigh.

Funny enough, after all this time, he still had no idea why he did what he did. That debate constantly followed his existence. But no matter, he would know once his plans succeed.

He waved and caught her attention. Her red orbs observed in confusion.

"Good luck," He told her.

She waited, processed, failed, then continued with her preparations. And he was content with just that. It was amusing in its own way. How bonds made in a place unknown dictated the course of events, brought people together, and yet denied everyone else to come just a tad closer. He knew it all too well. It's not like he never tried to approach others.

In any case, it was not something that concerned him. He needed only one. Yes. After all those failures, he only need him. If they succeed, they could change everything.

Mark 09 started to ascend.

Bing him to me.

AN – chapter 3 out of "I won't tell because I don't want you to expect anything" done. The wild plot revealed itself. Well, one part of it… I just hope you still like what I'm giving. If yes… then cool, it's free, and your imaginary karma will keep me going. If not… well I definitely won't cry about it and drink myself to death or anything, b-baka reader.

Anything else… ummm… I always thought Ritsuko was a person who evaluates people by their coffee making skills. Yes, definitely.

Have a good rest of the day reader. Cheers!