Your footsteps echo in the hallway. You always imagined there would be more than one set, that a heavy pair of boots would make their own noises clunking down your hall, but there's only you, and that's all there ever will be.

You thought you'd feel better now that you're home, but you don't.

She's on your couch, legs curled up under the blanket you're sharing. She's watching the game, yelling and throwing popcorn at the tv, you've never been happier in your life. She turns to you, eyes shining, "Did you see that Maur?" "Uh," you want to tell her that you love her, but you don't. No, you never do.

With a shuddering gasp you wrench your eyes from the couch. It's your house and yet, she's everywhere. You pull open the fridge door and there they are, her beers, just sitting there. They're just bottles, but somehow they're bottles of her.

Back pressed against the kitchen bench you sit on the floor, hands shaking, stomach lurching and tears streaming down your face. Your shoulders begin to quake, and now you can't stop. You mouth it over and over again, I love you, I love you, I love you.

She's lying on the mattress next to you, dark curls spread out like a fan, and you're mesmerized. You set your wine down and lie next to her, just drinking her in. Her wedding, she's telling you about her wedding. "Am I invited?" A pause. You freeze. You've overstepped. Got too caught up. That was a stupid thing to say. Then... "Maybe." Her mouth quirks up in a smile, you're on a high. I love you.

"You know when you're so in love you feel like you took some sort of a substance?" You pray that she gets it this time, that she'll finally understand, she'll finally see you're talking about her, but she doesn't. No, she never does.

"How can you love someone, and not be able to be with them?" She thinks you're talking about Ian. You have never been thinking about Ian less than you are right at this moment. Could you say it? Are you brave enough? Her arms go around you and you melt. You can't risk this. If she doesn't feel the same way, you've lost her forever. So instead you cry.

You put the wine on the bench and here it goes, "I like Tommy but I love you." Your heart stops, you're waiting, begging her, pleading with her to answer you. And she does. Your eyes sting with tears but you force it down, she misunderstood. You shouldn't have expected her to do anything else really. You're best friends, that's all, and best friends don't fall in love with each other.

"Jane," your voice breaks, you try again, "I'm in love with you." A weight lifts from your shoulders, only to be replaced by a heavier one in your stomach. Fear slides down your back like ice cold water. You open your mouth. Can you take it back? She steps away from you, she shuts her eyes, just for a second, and then she runs.

Chest heaving, bent double on the ground you open your eyes. Your throat burns, your vision is blurry, your palms hurt. You're surrounded by shards of broken glass, the bitter scent of beer floods your nostrils. She doesn't love you.

You're screaming and you grab a bottle and smash it on the ground. You tried to get rid of her.

For three years you lied to yourself, hoping that maybe she felt the same way as you. Now the lie is over.

Thunder rumbles overhead and you drag yourself up. You want to stay there, on the floor, surrounded by pieces of her, forever. Instead you pick up the glass. It cuts your fingers but you drop every piece singly into a bag, and with every one you whisper, I love you.

The wind bites into you like thousands of needles and numbly you realize you forgot your coat. It's almost too dark to see, you stumble more than once, but the bag stays firmly within your grasp. When you reach the garbage disposal you give a small shudder, I love you, and then a tiny part of her is gone.

You turn. A giant growl of thunder, and then rain starts to pour. Droplets slide down your face, marring the path of your tears and within seconds you're drenched through. You can't see, you don't need to, but then there's a crack of lightning. White illuminates your small world and there she is.

She's just standing there, at the end of your driveway. Your stomach clenches and your head pounds. You can feel yourself walking, your head is screaming at you to stop. You already know, you don't want to hear her excuses, you don't want to hear her say I'm sorry, but you keep walking.

You're standing two meters away from her, at the end of your driveway, in the middle of a thunder storm, and she's wild. Her dark curls hang around her shoulders and water drips down her face. She's kneading her palms and you just stand there and take her in. Finally, you make eye contact. Normally laughing and always warm, her eyes are tortured. Pain stares back at you and you can feel it, pulsing around your body, reflected through her gaze. You try not to but, I love you.

"Maura," she sounds just as broken as you feel, "you said," she stops, she tries again, "you said," she can't even say it.

So you finish it for her.

"Jane I told you I was in love with you."

You're broken, you're ruined, and as you say those words, she breaks too. Her hands flies up to her mouth, but you're not finished.

"And then you ran away."

Her chest heaves, she shakes her head, and then she runs again.

Towards you.

Thunder crashes louder than one thousand cymbals in the sky, the wind howls louder than one thousand horns, and you hear none of it.

Her mouth on yours is hungry and wild and desperate, and perfect. Her fingers, twisted in your hair, are the only things holding you up. You're drowning in her and then, she stops.

You shake your head, your tears meld with the rain that's pouring over you both.

"Jane?" It's a whisper, barely there. Your heart is beating double time and you want her to kiss you again but what if that was a test? What if she didn't feel anything?

"Shh," she presses her forehead into yours, and now you can hear everything. The rain as it splashes into puddles in the ground, the threatening rumble of thunder, the shallow rise and fall of her chest. You have no idea how long you stay there. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? You're hyper aware. Every point where her body makes contact with yours feels like it's shining golden light, until finally she speaks, and once again everything fades into the background.

"I'm scared, but"

For a second she slumps and you want to reach out, wrap your arms around her thin waist and just hold on, but before you can she straightens, and looks you square in the eye.

Lightning illuminates the landscape with electric light, thunder claps directly overhead, wind shrieks louder than one thousand mourners, rain falls in sheets and you can only hear her voice.

"I'm in love with you too Maura."

And suddenly your dream becomes reality, your fantasy comes alive, your lie becomes truth.

I'm yours, forever. I'm fragile, no longer. I love you, I love you too. Don't break me? You fixed me.

A/N: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this little one and thanks so much for taking the time to read :)

I hope to put up some multi chapters soonish (next week maybe) so stick around if you're interested!