The Dark Lord went down to Hogwarts, he was looking for a boy to kill. He was in a bind, 'cause he was way behind - he was willing to cut a deal.

When he came upon this young man, sitting on the table and eyein' it hot, the Dark Lord jumped up on tabletop and said "Boy let me tell you WHAT!"

For a moment, all were confused.

"I guess you didn't know it but I'm a big time duelist too, and if you care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you."

The boy appeared more than a bit interested.

"Now you have a pretty good wand boy, but give the Dark Lord his due; I'll bet my wand of Death against your soul 'cuz I 'think I'm better than you."

The boy said "My name's Harry, and it might be a sin, but I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the best there's ever been!"

Harry rose up on top and split the food apart, hell'd broke loose in Hogwarts and the Dark Lord dealt the cards.

"If you win you'll get his shiny wand made for death, but if you lose, the Dark Lord gets your soul!" the professor of charms warned.

The dark lord opened up his robes and said "I'll start this now", and fire flew from his wand tip as he rounded up his might. Then he pulled the wand across the air and it made an evil his, and a band of servants joined in, and the battle was joined like this!

When the Dark Lord finished Harry said "Well you're pretty good, old son," he acknowledged, waving his own wand before blasting the Dark Lord with his own spell, which pushed him back, "but sit down in that seat right there let me show you how it's done!"

He fought fire with fire, "run boys, run!" he called, sending the servants flying away. "The Dark Lord's in the House of the Founders Four!" he shouted, seeing his classmates scatter. He smiled and with a spell, turned a servant into a chicken, another into a breadpan and the third into dough, the first turning to his former associate in hunger. "Albus does your dog bite?"

"No child, no," the Headmaster replied, as he eyed the Potions Master.

And so the battle was ended.

The Dark Lord bowed down his head, because he knew that he'd been beat. He laid that Wand of Death on the ground at Harry's feet.

Harry said "Dark lord just come back if you ever wanna try again, I told you once you son of a bitch, I'm THE BEST THERE'S EVER BEEN!"

There was fire in the mountain as the boys did run, for the Dark Lord lost in hte house of the Founders Four, Chickens trapped in Bread Pans feeding on dough, "grandpa does your dog bite?"

Smiling, the Headmaster looked at the Dark Lord. "No child, no."

Harry nodded, sat down and finished his dinner.