Prologue

"Heey, Bats! Yohooooo~" The clown in a white jumpsuit called out from behind the thick, transparent glass as the Dark Knight walked by, dragging the Mad Hatter behind him. "Welcome back, Jervy! Oh dear me! Is it tea time already?"

The Ace of Knives' hysterical laughs echoed throughout the highest-level ward of Arkham Ayslum, gaining a roar of angry hushes from the inmates.

"Ooow zip it, you morons!" The Joker shouted back at the hushes.

As soon as the clown noticed the Batman's return, he began knocking at the glass to grab the vigilante's attention before he leaves.

"Bats, darling, listen!" The Joker cried out as he waved in excitement, "I've planned out the loveliest evening for us on Christmas Eve! But it's a surprise 'cuz I know you love surprises as much as I do! So no peekies, and wait for your BFF by-"

ACHOO!

*Sniffs*

Were all the reactions that the Joker got that evening from the Batman.

xXxXxXxXx

"Batsy was rather cold." The Joker pouted with his face supported by his palm, while he played with his lunch absentmindedly.

"Not colder than the usual, I would say." The Riddler remarked nonchalantly, "And would you stop playing with your food. It's rather unsightly!"

"He didn't growl, or brood! Or even frown at his bestest of friends! His one and only friend actually! Poor ol' me..." Joker sighed in extreme exaggeration, ignoring the Riddler's request. "To think that I had it all planned out. Tailored to suit my Dork Knight's exquisite taste. And with no self merits, but to fill Gotham with my dearest friend's laugh on its holiest night."

"Or you can just say..." Mad hatter suddenly interjected but hesitated, "He's catching a cold?"

"Jervy, oh, lil' Jervy." Joker sighed as he placed a hand over Mad Hatter's shoulder, while shaking his head sideways in disapproval, "Leave the jokes for the big shots, for example but exclusively, moi, would ya? That wasn't even funny you know."

"It's not a joke! I'm quite serious!" Mad Hatter scowled, "I think I've infected the Batman."

The Joker pushed aside his lunch tray and frowned, "You think you-"

ACHOO!

"For heaven's sake, Jevris!" Edward exclaimed in disgust, "Cover your mouth before you sneeze!"

"God bless you, Jevry." The Joker remarked darkly as he patted the back of the sneezing man. "So." The clown wrapped an arm around Mad Hatter, and stared at him with the creepiest smile as he calmly continued, "You were about to tell me how you single handedly ruined my perfectly planned date with my Batsy?"

"Ehm." The Riddler cleared his throat politely. He dabbed the corner of his lips with a handkerchief before rising from his seat, completely ignoring Mad Hatter's pleading eyes, "I think I will be excusing my self."

And in a blink of an eye, the Riddler disappeared leaving behind him an unnaturally calm clown, and a squirming little man.

xXxXxXxXx

"Gee, Mista' J. Seems the Bats has taken' a real toll on poo' Je'vy." Harley Quinn slipped into the Joker's cell while looking behind her, "I went to say hi, you know me being all welcomy and big hearted, but the lil' man started screamin' and stuff. What a loony."

"Pumpkin, daddy needs to take a sick leave." The Joker patted his sidekick's head absently, obviously not hearing a word she had just said, "It seems that there are some urgent preparations he needs to attend to."

"But, Mista' J, can't I come along with ya?" Harley pouted as she tugged at the Joker's suit childishly.

"Oh, baby. I have a special mission for you!" the Joker grinned, "And I know my Harl would never disappoint me, right?"

"Of course not!" Harley beamed at the word 'special'.

"Make sure that the little midget never ever dares to catch a cold ever again." The Joker instructed as he pinched Harley's check.

"O'kay?" Harley replied hesitantly, while rubbing her soaring cheek. She had no idea on where to even start to comply with such a request, but she didn't want to disappoint her puddin'.

"I knew I could count on ya, Pumpkin!" the Joker waved behind him as he climbed through the ventilation system.

"Oh well. I could always ask Red for a clue or two." Harley mumbled as she scratched the nap of her neck, and headed to her cell.

Meanwhile, as the Joker crawled through the vents, he grinned to himself, "Don't worry Batsycakes, Dr. J is on his way to make all your boo-boos go away."

A/N: Reviews are highly appreciated, loved and cherished *hearts*