Twelve Days of Christmas (Whitebeard Pirates Style)

Summary: Ace and Thatch do there own version of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas'. Hopefully this ends well. Maybe not.

PARODY/STORY CONCEPT IS MINE!

Disclaimer: One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda! :D

-Day Thirteen-

"Hey, Thatch!" Ace said going up to him.

"What?" The other asked.

"Let's do our own version of the Twelve Days of Christmas!"

"What's the catch?"

"Torturing a certain brother of ours, getting stared at like we have ten heads, maybe a few scolding's here and there. You know, the usual."

"You had me at 'torturing a certain brother'." Thatch didn't need to ask who it was. "Let's begin our list shall we?"

-Day Twelve-

Ace and Thatch went out to the center of the deck and cleared there throats.

"Everybody shut up!" Thatch shouted loudly getting everybody's attention. Once they had it…

"On the twelfth day of Christmas my crew mates gave to me~…!" Ace and Thatch randomly started singing. "Twelve random prese~nts!"

They then scurried away leaving everybody just staring.

"What the heck was that about?" Izou asked no one in particular.

"I don't really wanna know." Marco answered anyway.

-Day Eleven-

Thatch and Ace went out to the center of the deck again.

"On the eleventh day of Christmas my crew mates gave to me~…!" They sang again. "Twelve random presents and eleven lovely ladi~es!"

Again, they scurried away.

"Why are they starting backwards?" Haruta asked no one in particular.

"Who knows." Marco answered anyway.

-Day Ten-

Ace and Thatch stood on top of a table in the mess hall during dinner.

"On the tenth day of Christmas my crew mates gave to me~…! Twelve random presents, eleven lovely ladies and te~n Sea Stone handcu~ffs!"

"Why Sea Stone handcuffs?" Jozu asked no one in particular.

"Doesn't sound very creative." Marco answered anyway.

-Day Nine-

Very early in the morning…

"ON THE NINTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY CREW MATES GAVE TO ME~…!" Ace shouted freakishly loud.

"TWELVE RANDOM PRESENTS, ELEVEN LOVELY LADIES, TEN SEA STONE HANDCUFFS AND NI~NE BARRELS OF RU~M!"

Marco stormed outside getting ready to roast them until...

"Where the heck did you guys get a megaphone?"

"Is there really rum here?" asked Whitebeard who suddenly appeared next to Marco almost making the guy jump ten feet in the air.

"Sorry, Oyaji it's all gone." Ace answered.

"Why is the rum always gone?" Whitebeard sulked.

Marco also mumbled the same thing to himself.

"We don't know, Oyaji." Thatch answered. "We just don't know."

-Day Eight-

"On the eighth day of Christmas my crew mates gave to me~…! Twelve random presents, eleven lovely ladies, ten Sea Stone handcuffs, nine barrels of rum and eight…!"

"Why did you guys mention there was rum here?!" The nurses then scolded again.

Apparently, they were still mad about yesterday's false information.

"Ei~ght nurses scoldi~ng!" Thatch and Ace said quickly while dodging objects flying towards them.

-Day Seven-

"On the seventh day of…!"

"There gonna get tired of doing that before the last day even comes." Vista said watching Ace and Thatch sing yet again.

"…nine barrels of rum, eight nurses scolding and seve~n Sea Stone ro~pes!"

"Now it's Sea Stone ropes?"

"Who knows why." Marco said.

"Are you the voice of reason or something?"

-Day Six-

"This one is for Izou!" Thatch said over everybody.

"Oh, no." Izou said trying to hide his face.

"On the sixth day of Christmas my crew mates gave to me~…! Twelve random presents, eleven lovely ladies, ten Sea Stone handcuffs, nine barrels of rum, eight nurses scolding, seven Sea Stone ropes and…"

"Si~x makeup case~s!" Ace said handing them to Izou who just stood there in shock. "Take them!"

"Oh! Th-thank you, guys!"

-Day Five-

"This one is for Vista!" Ace shouted then started singing with Thatch.

"Should I be afraid?" Vista asked whoever was sitting next to him.

"If you want to be." said Marco.

"You again?"

"…eight nurses scolding, seven Sea Stone ropes, six makeup cases and…!"

"Fi~ve flower swo~rds!" Thatch sang going up to Vista handing him swords that were somehow made of real flowers.

"Thank you?" Vista said slightly confused while Marco, Haruta and Izou laughed.

-Day Four-

"On the fourth day of Christmas my crew mates gave to me~…!" Ace began.

"Where's Thatch?" Someone asked.

"Maybe he gave up." Another answered.

"Yeah, right." Marco thought.

"...nine barrels of rum, eight nurses scolding, seven Sea Stone ropes, six makeup cases, five flower swords and…"

"Fo~ur huge Christmas ca~kes!" Thatch shouted coming out of the kitchen with four huge Christmas cakes each one differently decorated.

"Alright!" Everyone cheered.

"But you can't eat them until Christmas." Thatch then said serious.

"A~w…!"

-Day Three-

"Jozu, you're the next victim!" Thatch said then started singing with Ace.

"Is it my turn to be afraid?" Jozu asked no one in particular.

Marco was about to answer but Vista shushed him.

"Just wait to see what it is." Vista answered instead.

"…eight nurses scolding, seven Sea Stone ropes, six makeup cases, five flower swords, four huge Christmas cakes and…"

"Three~ diamond ri~ngs!" Ace said handing them over to Jozu who was speechless.

Where in the world were they even getting these things?

-Day Two-

"On the second day of Christmas my crew mates gave to me~…!" Thatch began.

"Where's Ace?" Someone asked.

"I don't think I wanna know." Another answered.

"At least there almost finished with this."

"Yeah. I would've given up already."

"Me to."

"…seven Sea Stone ropes, six makeup cases, five flower swords, four huge Christmas cakes, three diamond rings and…"

"Me~ as a commande~r!" Ace shouted literally appearing from nowhere.

"That's one of the worst ones along with the Sea Stone cuffs and rope." said Marco.

"Oi!"

-Day One-

Very, very early in morning…

"We're gonna need help with this one. Ha, get it? This one? Haha!" Thatch said laughing.

Ace tried to stay serious but actually laughed at the lame joke. "Shut up idiot. Anyway, you're right. And I know who can help us."

"The usual?"

"The usual."

XXX

"OI, WHAT'RE YOU GUYS DOING?!"

"Keep him quiet!"

"LET GO OF…! MMM!"

"Don't worry, we'll let you free after we finish our last day of Christmas!"

*Muffled curses*

"Sorry, can't understand you!"

XXX

On the deck…

"Everybody shut up!" Ace and Thatch shouted over everybody.

"Oh, right. It's the last day." Someone said.

"It's about time."

"On the first day of Christmas my crew mates gave to me~…!"

"Twelve random presents!" Thatch sang.

"Eleven lovely ladies!" Ace sang and then they started taking turns.

"Ten Sea Stone handcuffs!"

"Nine barrels of rum!"

"Eight scolding nurses!"

"Seven Sea Stone rope!"

"Six makeup cases!" Izou then joined in from nowhere.

"Fi~ve flower swo~rds!" Vista also joined in from nowhere.

"Four huge Christmas cakes!" Thatch sang again.

"Three diamond rings!" Jozu said joining in.

"Me as a commander!" Ace sang again.

"A~ND…!" They all said at once uncovering something huge and tall.

"A PHOENIX IN A PAIR TREE~! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!"

Everybody burst out laughing when they saw poor Marco literally chained and tied to the top of the Christmas tree with a star on top of his head. Even Whitebeard couldn't help but chuckle.

"My sons and daughters, your silly antics knows no bounds."

"Does the tree light up?" Someone asked.

"Of course it does!" Thatch said turning on the tree which made everyone 'oo' and 'aw'. Even the star on Marco's head lit up which made everyone laugh.

*Muffled screaming*

"Don't worry, the tree won't catch fire." Thatch told him. "If it does you can't get burned anyway."

Marco growled.

"There's Sea Stone on me dumbass! My powers don't work!" Marco thought angrily. "And if this tree doesn't catch fire then I'll set it on fire myself after I'm out of this!"

"His ability doesn't work right now remember?" Haruta told Thatch.

"Oh, yeah. … Who wants cake?"

"Thatch, get Marco down from there." Whitebeard told him.

"The star will be ruined."

"Son."

"O.k." Thatch said somewhat sulking and then just stepped on a rope which easily snapped causing Marco to scream and fall straight to the floor. Luckily, Vista caught him before he could hit the floor otherwise that would've hurt like heck.

As soon as Vista removed the tape from Marco's mouth he started scolding at his kidnappers (it took Ace, Thatch, Haruta, Izou, Jozu and Vista to get Marco where he was) which annoyed them so Vista put the tape back on until everything else was off. Well, almost everything. The handcuffs were still on him.

"If I take these cuffs off are you going to hurt us?" Vista asked Marco.

"Of course I am!"

"There staying on."

"Get these off me, dammit!"

"Alright, fine. Guys get ready to run."

Jozu wasn't really that worried but Ace, Thatch, Haruta and Izou took off in a flash. As soon as the cuffs were off, Marco took off after them but then Vista tripped him making him fall back on the floor. Everybody laughed making Marco just want to huddle up in the corner for the rest of the year.

-Next day-

Jozu and Vista were let off easy (just this once!) while the other four were not.

Ace was stranded in his room since Marco took all his clothes and threw them into the ocean. How did he manage to get Ace's clothes off him no one didn't wanna know. Ace didn't even have his hat with him since Marco took it and wore it until Ace received clothes from the next island.

Marco went into the kitchen and took two of the four cakes that Thatch made and melted one and ate the other one for himself. Well, he ate half of it and then burned the other half. That left Thatch sulking for a while.

Haruta was locked in her room and by locked that meant there was a chain on her door and no bobby pins were left in her room and even her sword was gone.

Marco decided to put those six makeup cases that Izou got to good use and made Izou look like circus clown. He even messed up his hair a bit and then locked him in the room as well that way Izou won't go after him even though he will once he gets out anyway.

"Just wait until next year." Marco told himself.

Man, I had fun doing this! It took me three hours but I got it done! :D

Thatch: "This was fun!"

Ace: "Yes it was!"

Marco: "At least I got to punish you guys."

Haruta and Izou: "Oi, what about Jozu and Vista?!"

Jozu: "We just got lucky."

Vista: "Sure did."

Marco: "Just wait until next year." *Smiles somewhat deviously*

*They all swallow nervously*

Review, please! XD