My Best Friend is the Apocalypse

(and the other is eating Jelly Babies)

Author Note: still don't own avengers. Nor have we taken over the world. As soon as that happens I'll let you know. Any flams shall be used to make smore's because seriously; we have a lot of marshmallows (Thanks Kelly). Also we are sorry that we haven't updated in awhile but we had exams and we won't be uploading for awhile still seeing as I'm (iron heart) going on a vacation. See you later.

Phoenix P.O.V

It was just another regular boring old Monday; two goddesses blew up the school, I am currently sitting in a cell at S.H.I.E.L.D and Lina is eating Jelly Babies. Yep, nothing out of the ordinary here so you might as well stop reading because I can tell you right now that this will be the most boring story you will ever read. Well this was boring to me at least. By now I'm used to my friends blowing things up or burning things down, and I've seen the inside of a S.H.I.E.L.D cell up close at least 5 times by now. The sad thing is none of this was my fault: it was actually the complete and total fault of Director Fury.

This mess all started when he decided that Alex needed to go to high school -preferably with me and Lina-to get an education (which she already has). I suppose he thought that by placing her in the same school as her friends it would influence her not to blow it up. If that had been the end of it the plan may have worked. Me and Lina knew that Alex had a cousin named Kalika Lokistar who was 15 and on Earth and that the two needed to be kept separated or the world would end in lightning and ice. We also knew that she was in solitary confinement so we didn't think that it would be much of an issue.

On Alex's first day of school we managed to (finally) look like ordinary teen agers: I wore my black knee high boots, black jeans and a royal blue long sleeved shirt. Lina wore brown combat boots, ripped black leggings, a plaid skirt and an AC/DC Tee. Alex wore green sneakers, jeans, a black Tee and a green hoodie. As soon as we got to school Alex started ranting about how horrible her cousin was. "Everyone thinks she's sooo perfect with her wavy black hair and fancy dressing… I'm so glad that she is not here; she would look like a total idiot! And even though that Lokispawn is a year younger, she would be in our grade because she is just so smart." "Hey Alex," I asked. "How did your cousin come to Earth anyway?" "I pushed her off the Bifrost." Lina and I exchanged very shocked looks. "Not to worry my friends she should be in solitary confinement for at least another 10 years." Alex sounded very sure of herself so by the time we had put our stuff in the locker I had started to relax. I had just started to think that maybe today wouldn't be so bad. This semester we had English, Science, French and Drama so the day wouldn't be too painful.

My thoughts were interrupted by Lina tapping me on the shoulder. "What?" I was pretty annoyed. "Look over there by the gym" she said. "Did Alex not perfectly describe that girl?" I crossed my fingers and silently prayed that it wasn't who I thought it was and slowly turned my head. The girl had wavy midnight black hair that cascaded down her shoulders and stopped at her waist. The girl looked very out of place in a long black gown. "Just when I thought we were getting away with this", I sighed. "Would you too slow down?" We'd been so absorbed in our thoughts (and praying that this girls wasn't You-Know-Who) we hadn't noticed that Alex had stopped by the cafeteria to get a bagel. (How on Earth was she still hungry?! I know for a fact that she had eaten four big pancakes this morning!) I whirled around and shoved Alex back the way she came. "Uh we can't go down here" I said. Alex glared "and why not?" "Because the janitor, um, cleaned the floor and it's still wet?" Lina suggested. We finally managed to get Alex to take the time to go the long way to English class but it seems that we didn't need to.

By the time we got to class there was already another girl in there reading a book. She had wavy hair and… "Oh great. Just great" Lina sighed. Not only did S.H.I.E.L.D put Alex and Kalika in the same school, they gave them the same HOMEROOM. "How is it possible for them to mess up this badly?" I muttered. All I knew was that the imbecile responsible for this was going to have a bad day tomorrow. Was I angry? Of course not! I was beyond furious with those idiots. Lina tried to block Alex from entering but she was shoved aside. As soon as Alex entered the class she stopped dead. Her eyes narrowed in anger. "Lokispawn" she hissed. Kalika looked up from her book just in time to block an attack from Alex. I gaped. Somehow, Alex had managedto sneak her sword into the school. I guess someone pulled the fire alarm because the entire school evacuated in 45 seconds flat (Including me and Lina). As I stood in the soccer field I could see flashing lights and flames coming from the school windows.

I turned to Lina who was busy fishing Jelly Babies out of a bag. "Want one?" she offered. "Sure. Looks like this is gonna take a while". Eventually Lina and I decided that we should go back in before the school blew up (mostly because the Jelly Babies were gone). But just as we ran in the roof exploded. I used my earth control to sop the debris from crushing us while Lina melted them with fire. By the time we reached the cousins they were still fighting. Since they had already blown up the school I figured that there wasn't anything else they could really do so Lina and I stepped back and waited for them to cool off. "$20 says Alex wins", Lina nudged me. "I bet that no one wins" I replied. Lina laughed "you so owe me $20!" The fight was suddenly interrupted by Tony Stark, Black Widow and a whole lot of S.H.I.E.L.D agents running up and pinning us all down.

Later, as we sat in cells at S.H.I.E.L.D trying to decide how much trouble we were in, Tony and Director Fury came in. "Come on girls, everyone knows that it is not socially acceptable to blow up a school" Tony shook his head. "Well how was I supposed to know that freezing gas tanks would make them blow up? I've been in solitary confinement for years!" Kalika snapped. "And since when did you care?" "Since you just gave me paperwork to fill out". Director Fury stopped Tony from saying anything else. "Mr. Stark please these girls have committed a serious offence and they will all be punished". He turned to me and Lina "I trusted you two! How could you let this happen?" That was the final straw for me. "How could we let this happen?" I exploded, "this isn't even our fault! We were doing just fine I will let you know until someone decided to put them in the same school! After you told us to make sure that they never see each other you go right ahead and disobey your own rule and out them in the same HOMEROOM! We are not that stupid!"

An uncomfortable silence followed my outburst. I thought for sure that we'd had it but Director Fury told us that he would leave our punishments to our parents and teachers and told us never to speak of this again (I understand that he meant his goof up not the incident itself). The only person they could punish was Kalika and they put her back in solitary confinement for a while. Thor grounded Alex with "no video games for a month" for blowing up the school and I suppose they felt that it would only be fair to nail me and Lina for something the teacher gave us a detention for siting around and eating Jelly Babies before trying to stop the school from exploding (honestly who would be so stupid as to get in between two fighting goddesses?) On the bright side I am $20 richer. I guess being psychic has its rewards.

Before today Alex has always bragged that she knew a lot about mortals and how to act around them (I think that her knowledge was a little out dated) but there was no way she would ever forget that she ruined her first day of school by blowing it up. Mainly because I won't let her!