Her first thought is that she could sympathize with the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Quinn was finally a graduate of Yale. It had taken her 4 and a half years, but she was finally, truly on her own.
No more depending on scholarships. No more depending on her mother's money (Russel's really) to help pay for the rest of her tuition (She had only agreed because she did not want to be haunted with years of loans to pay). No more depending on anyone but herself.
Why had it taken 4 and half years you may be asking? Well Quinn had found herself studying abroad. She fell in love with London. The rain, the rich history, the interesting people, the accents, and it maybe, possibly, had something to do with a girl she had fallen in love with, but mums the word.
So she took a semester off.
Inevitably things did now work out.
No, it was not Quinn's fault. That's a lie. It was sort of her fault. Mostly Quinn found herself blaming a tiny brunette with a huge voice that never seemed to get out of her mind. So you see, it wasn't entirely her own fault. It was hers.
Now Quinn would be living in the big city. That's right. The Big Apple. No, it had nothing to do with the unnamed diva. Only slightly.
Did she fantasize about running into her in a coffee shop? Yes. Would she ever admit that aloud? No.
Quinn was all moved into her new apartment. Well, almost anyway. She was headed there now with the last of her stuff.
Her mother and Tim had come the previous week to help her move some of the bigger stuff. It was her first time officially meeting Tim. He's a few years younger than her mother. He has rough calloused hands, but holds her mother so gently. He is tall and intimidating, until he laughs that is. He has the most contagious laugh. Quinn hasn't seen her mother laugh like that in years. And most importantly, he smelled of coffee and home. He's the owner of the Lima Bean, and he is nothing like her father.
The past week had been left for Quinn to wrap up all of her loose ends. She said goodbye to some of her friends. Made promises to keep in touch, wished them luck on their upcoming journeys to find a job. Now that they had a diploma, it meant something right? Right.
There is nothing more sobering and surreal then sitting in your empty apartment, not even a mattress to comfort you.
Quinn would be lying if she said wouldn't miss New Haven. Of course she would. It's where she found herself. Yale taught her so much. And most of it had nothing to do with the diploma she earned.
She packed the last of her belongings in a suitcase and carried one last box. Most of them her favorite mementos that she had gathered throughout her life.
A laminated business card of her mothers divorce lawyer. Judy had given it to her the day the divorce was finalized. Quinn had laughed for hours when her mother gave it to her with a smirk.
A program from nationals in New York. Another from the year they won.
A flyer from her first frat party where she had gotten so drunk that she had woken up between 2 girls. Not to worry though, nothing happened. With them at least. Apparently she had been seen kissing different sorority girls throughout the night. She still doesn't remember that night, but everyone else did. Quinn's roommate, Jen, had made a joke about how Quinn coming out under the influence was the cheap way out. Quinn didn't mind though, if anything it made things easier for her. Most Frat guys stopped hitting on her after that night.
A playbill from Funny Girl.
A napkin from a karaoke bar she had gone to with Jen her sophomore year. The napkin had a number of some random girl that Quinn never called. It had significance to her however, because it had been the first time Quinn had chatted up a girl.
A tacky mug from London. Her ex had bought it for her as a parting gift. Seriously? A mug? She kept it anyways though.
The most prominent, to Quinn at least, was the train pass from New Haven to New York. When she had given it to her Quinn had hoped that she would finally get the hint. She had been so giddy with excitement when she bought them. It promised so much, but gave so little reward.
Quinn knows it's stupid to be hung up on someone she never even had a relationship with. Though she supposes everyone has that one person. She just happens to be it for Quinn.
That is all she has with her. A suitcase with her clothes and a box full of memories. In a taxi that smells off.
Which is why she could sympathize with Will Smith. That and the fact that there were actual dice hanging from the rear view mirror.
She has been staring at them for the last 2 blocks, the soft music playing from the radio lulling her into a trance like state. It's raining and usually she would take the chance to people watch. People watching is one of Quinn's favorite pass times. She had perfected the hobby at age 8. But something about today seems different.
Maybe it's the fact that she is going to spend her first night alone in her apartment.
She could call Santana, but she hadn't spoken to her in a little over two years. And from what she gathered on Facebook, she still lived with her. Quinn had spent a lot of time grumbling about that fact. They had hated each other in high school. Now it seemed like they were best friends? No fair.
She could call Kurt or Blaine. They both lived in the city as well. And from what she gathered from their facebook pages, they were happily married. Kurt was starring in an off broadway production and Blaine was rounding up his last semester at NYADA. But Quinn has a slight feeling that Kurt isn't exactly happy with her.
For one she hadn't attended Finn's funeral OR his memorial the week later. For reasons she doesn't even want to think about.
And also she hadn't gone to his wedding.
What? She was in London! She couldn't go. She had gotten the invitation and it laid on her kitchen counter for weeks, waiting to be RSVP'd. He had even gone through all the trouble to get her address in London, but Quinn just couldn't get herself to do it. She had gone as far as marking the RSVP box, but she never sent it.
Quinn saw the pictures though. It was really lovely. Burt walked Kurt down the Isle. Blaine's mother walked him. Santana stood as a grooms maid. YES, a grooms maid. Kurt had 2. And She looked stunning. Radiant. Ethereal. There aren't enough words to describe how beautiful she looked.
Then there was a touching tribute to Finn, an empty space reserved right next to Kurt where his best man would be standing.
She knew Artie was in the city too. In film school. But according to facebook he was busy at work on his thesis film. They had been friends once, but if she called would he really come?
There really is no moving on from New Direction's is there? Quinn hadn't realized until now how often she spent checking up on them.
Puck was in the Airforce, though she didn't have to check Facebook for that. They kept in contact often. He had just gotten engaged. Quinn was happy for him.
Tina was finishing up her last year at NYU.
Mercedes had finally gotten her album released. Where it stayed on billboards number 1 for 11 weeks. Which was amazing for a debut artist.
She saw Sam's often. Though not in person. Sam had become a model and his face was plastered everywhere. Well maybe not only his face. His abs were everywhere.
Mike was doing amazing in Los Angeles. Choreographing for some of the biggest names in the business.
Brittany had gone to MIT for a year, discovered something amazing. Quinn didn't pretend to understand what though. And then moved out to Los Angeles with Mike. Seriously WITH Mike. No, they aren't together, but they work together. Dancing had always been Brittany's true passion.
The only person Quinn didn't really keep tabs on was HER but mostly because she felt creepy doing it. She went and saw Funny Girl, but that was it. She could swear She locked eyes with her when she was singing Don't Rain on My Parade, but she didn't stick around to find out.
Santana had spotted her during the intermission so as soon as the curtains closed and she got her standing ovation, Quinn bolted.
Quinn has never been scared of anything. Except for her. Quinn's feelings for her to be exact.
So whenever She was involved Quinn tried to stay away. Hence why she doesn't keep tabs on her... anymore.
Ok thats a lie. She used to stalk her facebook constantly. She went to her performances whenever she could. She even had to forgo having a heater in November just so she could afford tickets for opening night of Spring Awakening. The show She worked on after Funny Girl.
But Quinn has been stalking free for 1 year now. 12 months clean. Progress right? Who is she kidding? Quinn can't even say her name.
You'd think that after 4 years she would be over her by now. Especially because Quinn never actually fessed up to her feelings. But she can't even get that damn girl out of her mind. Like now, for instance, she swear she can hear her voice.
Holy shit.
"Turn it up!" Quinn barks out suddenly, startling her cab driver.
"What do I look like your-" The man glances back through his rearview mirror and catches sight of Quinn's challenging gaze.
"Crazy bitch." The man mutters, but turns up the volume regardless.
I was scared to death I was losing my mind
I couldn't close my eyes I was pacing all night
I think I found the light out the end of the tunnel
I couldn't find the truth I was going under
"Oh my God" Quinn chokes out, her hand flying to her chest in shock. The man raises an eyebrow at her through the rearview mirror.
"You haven't hard this song? It's been playing all the time." The man tells her. Quinn shushes him though. She doesn't make a habit of listening to the radio. Now she wishes she did.
But I won't hide inside
I gotta get out, gotta get out
Gotta get out, gotta get out
Lonely inside and light the fuse
Light it now, light it now, light it now
And now I will start living today
Today, today I close the door
I got this new beginning and I will fly
I'll fly like a cannonball
Like a cannonball
Like a cannonball
I'll fly, I'll fly, I'll fly like a cannonball
Her cab driver has the audacity of singing along with the song.
"Shut up!" Quinn hisses at the man. Sitting up straight, relishing every word blasting through the speakers.
"What's your problem?" The man asks, lowering the volume. Big mistake. Quinn looks like she might throttle him. He stands his ground though.
"I know her." Quinn breathes. She feels so much pride in this moment. She has no right of course. But she does. She is so happy.
"You do?" The man asks skeptically. Probably wondering is she's lost her mind. Quinn is wondering the same thing.
Freedom
I let go of fear and the peace came quickly
Freedom
I was in the dark and then it hit me
I chose suffering and pain in the falling rain
I know, I gotta get out into the world again
But I won't hide inside
I gotta get out, gotta get out
Gotta get out, gotta get out
Lonely inside and light the fuse
Light it now, light it now, light it now
And now I will start living today
Today, today I close the door
I got this new beginning and I will fly
I'll fly like a cannonball
Like a cannonball
Like a cannonball
I'll fly, I'll fly, I'll fly like a cannonball
The man has raised the volume so she can hear properly. Quinn isn't sure why, but there is something about hearing her - dammit- Rachel. There is something about hearing Rachel on the radio that changes everything.
Maybe it's the rain splattering on the window. Or the train passes in the box. Or even the smelly cab driver, but she suddenly needs to see Rachel.
I was scared to death I was losing my mind
I gotta get out into the world again
Quinn picks up her phone and does something she vowed she would never do. She scrolls down her contacts to Her. No she isn't afraid to say it anymore she actually changed Rachel's name to Her so she wouldn't have to look at her name whenever she went into her contacts.
She doesn't even have control over her own body anymore. Before she can stop herself she is pressing send.
It goes straight to voicemail. Probably for the better.
And now I will start living today
Today, today I close the door
I got this new beginning and I will fly
I'll fly like a cannonball
Like a cannonball
Like a cannonball
I'll fly, I'll fly, I'll fly like a cannonball
Like a cannonball
Like a cannonball
I'll fly, I'll fly, I'll fly like a cannonball
The song fades to a finish, and for a moment, Quinn is heart broken.
"That was Cannonball by Miss Rachel Berry everybody. And joining us today in the Z100 booth is Rachel Berry herself promoting her album Louder which will be out next week." The radio host announces. Quinn's hand fly out in front of her, gripping at the head rest to the passenger seat tightly.
"Hello Robert. Hello listeners." Quinn's breath catches in her throat. It can't be. But it is.
"And how are you today Rachel?"
"I'm excellent Robert. How are you?"
"Now that I get to see you? I'm perfect." Quinn hates the fact that this man is flirting on live radio, but she is too excited about hearing Rachel that she doesn't care.
"Aww aren't you sweet?"
"I try. So why don't we get right down to it?" The man prompts.
"Lets." Rachel agrees easily.
"Let's talk about your song, Cannonball. Did you write it?"
"I did. I wrote or co-wrote all of the songs on my album."
"That's amazing."
"Thank you."
"Did someone or something inspire this particular song?"
"All of my songs are very personal. So yes, this one did come from both someone and something. About 4 years ago I lost someone I loved."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"I was in a bad place for a while. It was tough." Quinn can tell that Rachel is being short with her answer because it still hurts.
"And how did you get over it?"
"I don't think I ever really got out of that bad place. I became obsessed with work, but then one day, my best friends confronted and me and they told me that they were not only worried for me, but my health as well. It was a long process to get me to where I am today, but my best friends got me out of it. And I wrote this song. As a sort of goodbye, not to the person I lost, but the person I became because of who I lost."
"Wow. It's great that you were able to put that part of your life behind you."
"With lots of help from my best friends. Hi Santana! Hi Kurt! Hi Blaine! Sorry if I didn't give them a shout out they would never forgive me." They both laugh.
"That's alright. So Rachel..." The man trails off in a suggestive tone. Rachel groans.
"I knew this was coming."
"I have to ask!" The man defends. Quinn isn't sure what is going on.
"Alright alright, hit me with your worst."
"Are you currently dating anyone?" Oh!
"No, I am not." Quinn releases a breath she didn't know she was holding.
"You are often seen with this beautiful lady though. You're always holding hands too. What are we supposed to think?" Rachel laughs, the man must be showing her a picture. Who? What beautiful lady?
"That's Santana. God no. Santana and I are not involved. She's my best friend." Quinn finds herself almost literally growling at the statement.
"So you aren't interested in women?" The man prompts.
"Straight to the point aren't you?" Rachel takes the question with grace.
"Well..." The man trails off. Quinn is really starting to hate this man.
"These are the questions my manager told me to avoid." Rachel is hesitant.
"But I am not one to be ashamed of who I am. My fathers raised me to embrace who I am. And I acknowledge that I find both men and women attractive." The radio is silent for a minute. Quinn panics, thinking the cabbie may have turned it off. No. This Robert guys is just in shock that he got the scoop first.
"That's great Rachel. Embracing who you are is very inspiring and brave."
"And perhaps a little naive." Rachel adds with a laugh.
"Any of the songs on your album here written for a girl?" The man asks. Though Quinn hates this man for being so nosey, she can't help but want to hear the answer to every question.
"One, yes. But I'll leave that for everyone to figure out." Rachel teases.
"Why don't you give her a shout out? Who knows what could happen..." The man prompts. Rachel laughs, but Quinn can tell it's forced.
"They warned me about you." Rachel jokes with the man. "But no I cannot. I will tell you that she has the most beautiful hazel eyes though." Quinn stops breathing for a moment. Could it be?
"C'mon that's it? You have to give us more!" The man asks in a good natured tone.
"Alright, one more. Only because I know she hates listening to the Radio. She and I once sang a song together."
"Everyone is now going back to every performance you ever did to figure out who it is." The an jokes.
"They won't find it. We only sang together twice. Once a duet, and they were both intimate performances."
"stopthecar" Quinn gasps out in one breath.
The Cabbie turns around in his seat to get a good luck at Quinn, probably wondering what the hell is going on with the crazy blonde in his back seat.
Quinn is pale and almost shaking, her eyes wide with shock. It's the moment she's been waiting for. The first actual sign that Rachel Berry returned feelings for her. The question is: did she deserve the chance?
"Where is Z100?"
Not even sure why I'm posting this. It isn't my favorite, but it was in my head after listening to cannonball, which is awesome. You guys should go and take a listen.
Anyway, this will probably be a 2 shot. If I even go that far with it, i'm not exactly pleased with what came out. It sounded better in my head. Perhaps I should have kept it there.
What do you think? - A