Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of the characters.

It had happened again. Some angry sorcerer had decided that King Arthur had to pay for his father's crimes and had thus taken over the castle. Merlin slumped back in the cell that he and the rest of the knights as well as Arthur were being held in. Only Arthur and Percival were up in chains as they posed the most threat. Arthur looked livid, Gwaine looked bored, while both Leon and Percival were looking for a way out. Elyan was in a trance, staring at an insect that had been crawling on the window sill for the past hour. Merlin had also been trying to find a way out, that didn't include revealing his magic to everyone. He finally come up with a plan. When the guards brought down food Merlin wouldn't eat any and then knock out all of the knights with a sleeping spell and then blame it on a sleeping draft placed in the food. He would go about explaining how he managed to get the keys from the guards later.

"Bloody, useless, son of a," Arthur had been letting off spontaneous strings of curse words for the past hour. He looked up at his manacles and tugged at them again, as if they would magically loosen and fall out of the wall.

"Sire," Leon said calmly in an attempt to keep Arthur from getting to angry. He was probably the only one who still had a level head, well him and Merlin but Merlin didn't count for very much in the eyes of the knights. Gwaine continued to stare out of the cell looking bored but also slightly amused. Merlin had started to watch Gwaine and see what had caused this demeanor. He didn't appear to be listening to Arthur's random bouts of profanity, if anything he didn't seem remotely aware of the happenings within the cell.

"There has to be a way out," Percival said looking around.

"There aren't any," Arthur spat bitterly, "Some bloody nutcase is running around up there trying to run my kingdom because of something my father did! Why do they keep coming after me?" Arthur continued, ending in almost a desperate tone.

"Well you aren't very nice to your servants," Merlin mumbled. Arthur shot him a death glare.

"Still, there has to be something we can do," Percival sighed. At this Gwaine switched his gaze from the guard to Percival and then back. He repeated this several times being observed only by Merlin, each time a devious smile growing on his face. Elyan groaned as the insect on the window sill flew off.

"I mean, the guard is human so he can be distracted," Percival muttered thoughtfully. Arthur and Leon shook their heads in agreement.

"Oh he can be distracted," Gwaine chuckled.

"And I suppose that you know how?" Leon stated, his normally calm tone faltering. Merlin couldn't blame him. For once Gwaine should be more focused on escape and less on teasing.

"Oh yes. Dear old Percival here will be the man to do it," Gwaine said, not even trying to bite back a smile.

"Quite beating around the bush and spit it out already," Arthur said more desperate than annoyed. It probably stung his pride to be chained up like he was. Arthur wanted nothing more than to reclaim his throne and his honor.

"Pipe down princess. We can't have the human boulder overhear us," Gwaine hissed. The human boulder was the loving nickname that Merlin had come up with for the guard when he so graciously tossed Merlin into the dungeon like a rag doll. He was big and bulky but still small compared to Percival. He had hardly said two words to the prisoners since he had been stationed at his post. Merlin wondered how Gwaine had come to the conclusion that Percival, who was currently chained to the wall, would be the one to take down the guard.

"Alright, I've been observing the guard for the last few hours and I've noticed him eyeing our dear Perce," Percival grunted at the nickname Gwaine had bestowed on him.

"So, he probably thinks he's a threat," Elyan shrugged as Gwaine let out an overdramatic sigh and massaged his brow in fake annoyance.

"No, that's not it,"

"Then what is it Gwaine. We kind of don't have all day," Arthur hissed again.

"Quit interrupting me your highness and I'll explain," Gwaine looked around for any more possible interruptions and once he was convinced he could continue in peace he spoke,

"Let's just say that the human boulder has less than honorable intentions towards our Percy," Percival growled at the new nickname.

"What do you mean 'less than honorable'," Leon said, Elyan leaned forward in curiosity.

"How do I put this tactfully?" Gwaine said scratching his head. After several seconds he growled in frustration before stating "He wants to screw your brains out Perce," For a second everyone just sat and stared at Gwaine.

"And you can tell because?"

"Because of the looks he's been throwing ever since Percival was brought down here and chained up. Pure lust my friends," Everyone shifted awkwardly in their places and Percival turned a new shade of red.

"That's great but how is that going to help us get out of here?" Merlin finally asked although he didn't really want to know the answer.

"Because that man is not thinking straight. If we let Percival flirt with him one of us might be able to knock him out and get the keys. Now Percival, do you like men or women?" Gwaine stated making Percival blush even more.

"I really do not want to sleep with that man," He stated quietly, clearly not liking his new admirer.

"If you play your cards right you won't even have to touch him. Now answer the question,"

"Women," Gwaine cursed under his breath. The rest of the prisoners were more or less stunned at what Gwaine was even suggesting. Arthur's mouth was hanging open and Elyan was just staring at his feet.

"Do you think you can fake it long enough to get him in here for one of us to take him out?" Gwaine asked. Percival looked around the cell in hopes that someone would tell him not to do it, or say that Gwaine was taking it a step to far.

Leon was the first to speak, "Do you think you can?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

"I'll give you some tips before sending you on your way," Gwaine said reassuringly.

"I really don't want to know how you know ways of seducing big burly men," Arthur said shaking his head. Merlin prayed to every deity he had ever heard of not to let Gwaine go into any more detail. His nightly conquests at the taverns were bad enough. Percival looked up and nodded at Gwaine with a new look of determination in his eyes.

"Brilliant!" Gwaine exclaimed happily as he made his way over to Percival and began whispering in his ear.

"How do we know Gwaine isn't seeing things that don't exist?" Merlin asked Leon.

"When it comes to this form of promiscuity Gwaine is the expert," Leon replied with a shrug. Merlin just hoped it wouldn't get Percival killed.

"You want me to say what!" Percival shrieked, his blush coming back.

"You have to establish dominance, it will turn him on," Gwaine said with a wave of his hand.

"I wouldn't say that to a woman," Percival cried again.

"This isn't a woman mate, it's a man. Just trust me on this. Lose the blush too, you aren't Merlin,"

"I heard that," Merlin gasped, making him blush this time. Arthur laughed at this.

"Alright, I can do this. Just remember what Gwaine taught me and I'll be fine," Percival muttered under his breath, clearly stalling. He looked up with pleading eyes one last time and received only sympathetic glances. He took a deep breath and swallowed.

"Hey pretty boy," Percival stated, his voice much stronger than it had been a few seconds ago. Everyone except for Gwaine whipped their heads up to look at Percival. Gwaine had to bite back a laugh. The human boulder looked up.

"You talking to me?" He asked, Merlin noted the faint note of hope in his voice as he stood up and made his way over to the door, not opening it but standing by the lock, his fingers on the keys.

"Yeah I am. Do you know what I would do to you if I wasn't chained up?" Percival gulped, he wasn't nearly as convincing as when he had first spoke.

"Probably beat the crap out of me," The guard said and turned to sit back down. Gwaine made urgent hand gestures for Percival to keep going.

"No, I would take you right here, right now," Percival stated, this time much more strongly. The guard stopped and turned around, cocking his head to the side and studying Percival.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you describe to me exactly what you would do," Leon yelped and clamped his hands over Merlin's ears. Apparently everyone thought he needed to be protected from whatever strongly worded descriptions Percival was about to say. Gwaine urged him to continue.

"Well it would be in front of everyone," Percival said, his resolve wavering slightly. Leon pressed his hands harder over Merlin's ears. It didn't really help much, Merlin could still hear everything that was going on.

"How erotic, in front of your sovereign," the guard said looking towards Arthur, who immediately became fascinated with his boots.

"Hell yeah," Percival's voice cracked slightly but he continued on. "When I'm finished with you, you won't be able to remember your name," The guard unhooked the keys from his belt and opened the door.

"Tell me more," he demanded stepping inside the cell. Elyan made a move to get up but Gwaine halted him with a look. The guard wasn't distracted enough. Seeing that he had to continue, Percival cleared his throat and looked at the human boulder.

"You won't be able to walk or ride for a month.,"

"Your stating the after affects but I want to know the details of what your going to do," The guard said clearly losing interest.

"Pour candle wax all over your naked body!" Percival exclaimed desperately. At that moment everyone shot their heads up to look at the knight.

"I didn't tell him to say that I swear," Gwaine said to no one in particular.

"My, my sir knight. It seems you have a wild side," The guard smirked and took another step into the cell.

"Let's not uncover any more of it," Leon squeaked out, Merlin nodding in agreement.

"What else?" The guard purred as he kneeled down in front of Percival. "Will you tell me that I'm a bad boy?" He stated, oblivious to the rest of the occupants in the cell.

"You're not a do-" Gwaine waved his hands to tell Percival to stop, "Yes, I will,"

"Let me hear you say those words sir knight," The human boulder leaned into Percival. Before Percival could answer the guard cried out in distress and slumped over onto the ground revealing Elyan and a torch that was used as a club. For awhile no one said anything, Leon hadn't removed his hands from Merlin's ears.

"If anyone mentions this ever again to anyone, I will kill you," Percival growled finally breaking the silence.

"I won't say anything," "Not a peep out of me," "The incident is already forgotten," Were various replies from the knights and Merlin. No one really wanted to get on Percival's bad side and the incident had been rather uncomfortable for all parties involved.

"Let's go take back a kingdom," Leon stated, his voice cracking slighlty as he went to unchain Arthur and Percival.

"Sounds good," Arthur said as he stood up and led the way out of the cell, still glancing around awkwardly as the recent events of the day were forever burned into everyone's mind. This was definitely something that they wouldn't be forgetting soon.

A/N: Hoped you all liked it. This idea just came at a really random and inconvenient time and wouldn't leave until I published it. Now I actually have to work on my research paper which will not be as fun to write as this. The pains of real life.