Of What If's and Maybe's

What if Merlin told Arthur the truth? Maybe things would have gone differently. A Merthur AU for my friend, Natasha's (AKA Shadowtorn, check out her blog at shadowtorn. tumblr. com),Birthday. Love ya Tash, happy birthday :) x

"I trust Arthur with my life," Merlin told Will.

"Oh so he knows your secret then?"

"No..."

His friend's words echoed around his head as he slept. How could he truly know if Arthur was his friend if he didn't tell him the truth? How would he make everything okay for people with magic and give them the new world he had promised so many of them if he couldn't tell Arthur about his gifts.

These thoughts became so loud in his head that they woke him up. As he sat in bed drenched in a cold sweat, Merlin made his mind up – he was going to tell Arthur.

He set to work writing a letter but he couldn't find the words. What could he say? "Arthur, just thought you ought to know, I have magic... please don't kill me!" No. He couldn't say that. But what other way was there? So many bad things had happened to Arthur by the hands of those with magic. But it was also magic that had saved him so many times. Arthur had been born from magic! The only problem Merlin had to face now was the right way to tell him.

By the time he was summoned to the castle to attend to the king's breakfast and clothes, his room was practically carpeted with screwed up parchment. He found it impossible to find the right words; he knew the bottom line was confessing to Arthur that he'd been lying to him for all the time he'd known him... Whether he accepted his magic or not, Arthur wouldn't react well to being lied to by someone he'd admitted that he saw as a friend.

"Good morning, Sire," Merlin said as he entered Arthur's chambers with his breakfast.

"Merlin," Arthur replied, acknowledging him with a small nod. "Are you okay? You seem... tired."

Merlin nodded. "Yes Sire, I didn't get much sleep last night is all."

"Well if you're sure you're okay..." Merlin nodded. "Alright then."

"Sire," Merlin began.

"Yes?"

He opened his mouth to tell him the truth but the words wouldn't leave his mouth.

"What is it Merlin?"

"Never mind."

"No you have to tell me now you've brought it up," Arthur said, sounding like a small child asking what someone had gotten for his birthday.

"It doesn't matter, I can't remember anyway."

"Merlin," Arthur sighed impatiently.

"Fine," Merlin said. He needed to tell him the truth one day. Why not now? There was nothing stopping him. "I have to tell you something but you mustn't judge me. I promise you, I've only kept this from you in the best interests of everyone and I'm still the man you know me to be regardless of it."

"I don't follow you," Arthur admitted.

"You must promise not to think of me any differently after I tell you what I'm about to say," Merlin said.

Arthur looked confused, even a little worried. "I promise. Come on, Merlin, out with it!"

The words, again, got caught in Merlin's throat. "Maybe it's better if I show you..." Arthur's worried expression became more so as Merlin held his hand out, palm up and muttered a few strange words. There was suddenly fire dancing on Merlin's hand. It twisted into beautiful shapes and changed colours as it burned.

Arthur lost all colour in his face and he stumbled away from Merlin. "You have magic! You're a sorcerer!"

Merlin closed his hand and the fire went out. "Shush, please. You promised you wouldn't think any differently of me!"

"This isn't what I had in mind when I gave you that promise, Merlin! This is a crime punishable by death! How long have you had magic?"

"I was born with it," Merlin confessed.

"You've had magic all these years and you haven't told me?!"

"I was afraid of your reaction, Arthur. It is my destiny to help you become a great king and to unite the lands of Albion; I did what I had to do."

"You don't have magic. How can you have magic? You're Merlin!" Arthur mumbled in denial.

"I do have magic Arthur," Merlin said, trying not to be insulted. "'I've only ever used it for good. Arthur, you have to understand that magic itself isn't evil; it's how you use it."

"All my life, I've been told that magic is evil and anyone that has it must be killed. And now you expect me to believe what you're telling me is the truth?"

"Arthur, I'm still the man you know me to be! I'm not evil. I have only ever used my magic to protect others – to protect you!"

Arthur hung his head. "I believe that you are not a bad person, Merlin. But I cannot ignore my own laws!"

"You're the king!" Merlin cried. "You can change those laws! You can free all the innocent people who have magic that your father has exiled! You can become the greatest king Camelot has ever seen and you can unite the lands of Albion and lead them into the greatest age we've ever seen!"

"I can't..."

"It is your destiny, Arthur! And I will be at your side; it is my destiny to help you achieve yours."

Arthur stood up abruptly, got dressed and strode out of the room. Merlin's stomach dropped. Telling Arthur had been a mistake. He didn't care about everything he'd just told him; his father had implanted a hatred of magic too deeply within him. "Where are you going, Sire?" he asked weakly.

"To the court room," Arthur replied Merlin's heart dropped along with his stomach. Arthur's stern expression melted into his usual mocking expression which allowed Merlin's heart to lighten a little. "I believe have some laws to change."

I know I said I'd write a Death note Light/L fic but I can write Merlin and Arthur better so deal with it 8)

you guys should totally go and stalk the birthday girl tumblr and here too (she doesn't write much but stalk her anyway) her ff user name is ScarletBloodTurnedBlack go forth and stalk my pretties.

VIVE LA MERLIN!